With the arrival of the new century, paying attention to children's quality education has become the new focus of global education development. Communication is an indispensable part of children's quality education. Good communication skills can provide powerful guarantee and motivation for children's all-round development and greatly promote the improvement of children's comprehensive quality. Therefore, in the current quality education, it has become a basic task to cultivate children's social communication ability. However, we should see that due to various reasons, the education of children's social communication ability in preschool stage in China is obviously lagging behind, which can not meet the basic requirements of quality education and has become a bottleneck restricting the development of quality education. Therefore, strengthening the cultivation of children's social communication ability has become a top priority for preschool education. Relevant research shows that the development of children's early social communication ability will affect their attitude towards people and interpersonal relationships in the future, and affect their cognitive and healthy personality development. By learning communicative language; Learn initial social skills; Homes should be synchronized to create a good social communication environment; Use literary works and situational performances to help children overcome wayward, selfish and self-centered behaviors that are not conducive to social interaction. Realize family cooperation, let children develop good social communication skills, and make them achieve greater success in their future life and development.
Ask questions first.
The so-called social communication is the interpersonal relationship of human society, the basic need of human survival and the important content of people's spiritual life. Children's social communication is the need of growth and personality development, and it is the process of completing individual socialization. Through social communication, children can understand and understand the normal relationships between people and between people and society, learn social ethics and deal with interpersonal relationships, help children overcome willful and self-centered behaviors that are not conducive to social communication, develop their ability of behavior adjustment and social activities, fully develop their personality, and form social behaviors that meet social requirements.
As a basic education, preschool education plays an important role in a person's life. Many good behavior habits, personality qualities and moral qualities are cultivated from childhood. People often say "look at the old at the age of three", which shows that preschool education can not be ignored. Only by laying a good foundation can we become the pillar of the country and the builder of the future of the motherland. Families and kindergartens shoulder important educational responsibilities, and the people we cultivate are members of the future society. They will eventually enter the society, communicate with others and adapt to the society. The future society is an information society with fast pace of life, fierce competition and complicated interpersonal relationships. Under such social requirements, people must adapt to social requirements and have good psychological quality and social communication ability, otherwise it will be difficult to adapt to future life. The Regulations on Kindergarten Work clearly states that we should focus on the future and strengthen the cultivation of interpersonal skills, creativity, friendship, cooperation and tolerance. However, education in reality is just the weak link in these aspects. The education of children in families and kindergartens only pays attention to the cultivation of intellectual development, but ignores the cultivation of social communication ability and moral habits. In addition, most children nowadays are only children. With the change of urban living environment, parents often keep their children at home, and children lack opportunities for communication and cooperation since childhood, so it is difficult to cultivate the spirit of cooperation and humility. Children are either competitive, willful and selfish, or unhappy, self-indulgent, backward, and then go with the flow. This is contrary to the requirements of the Regulations on Kindergarten Work and does not meet the requirements of the future society for talents. Therefore, it is particularly important to teach children how to deal with interpersonal relationships. Therefore, we must establish a correct educational concept and cultivate children's social communication ability and good behavior habits from an early age.
Second, the social status of children.
What is the current situation of children's social communication ability? According to the survey results, the situation is not optimistic, mainly in the following aspects:
1, with small communication range.
The performance of children's communication range: First, the younger they are, the smaller their communication range is. The scope of communication is mainly family and people they are familiar with in kindergarten. In the family, parents, grandfathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, uncles, aunts, etc. Is the most frequent contact, followed by parents. Children with this situation accounted for 85% of the total number of surveys. Second, there are fewer opportunities to visit relatives and friends. The interaction with adults in kindergarten is mainly the class teachers and other familiar teachers. Children of unfamiliar teachers and other staff seldom take the initiative to communicate with them. Children with this situation account for 90% of the total number of surveys. Third, children in the same age class associate with the same sex peers with the same personality and hobbies. This phenomenon is more prominent with the increase of age, and children with this situation account for 95% of the total number of surveys.
2. There are few opportunities for communication
Most children in modern society are only children. Parents are busy with work and have no time to communicate with their children. Children are often at home alone. Even if adults are at home, they are busy with housework and children play by themselves. Even if you play with friends in the same building and hospital, parents rarely let their children associate, fearing that their children will suffer and be in danger, and bringing friends home will make a mess at home. Don't let your children go out and don't take them to socialize. In the long run, many children are withdrawn, don't know how to cooperate modestly, are willful and selfish, are self-centered and won't socialize.
3. Poor communication skills
In communication, children do not know how to abide by the code of conduct, respect others, be polite, strive for more, and cry more. There are mainly the following types:
..... "Little robber" type
This type of children often give people the impression that they are overbearing, unreasonable, even selfish and possessive. Toys are always in the hands of other children, so you can grab them directly if necessary. Good food is taken from other children's bowls, and bad food is for other children. It seems difficult for these children to understand the difference between "mine" and "yours". In their minds, it seems that they are all "mine" as long as they need it. Now most children are only children, and they are the only treasures around the six adults in the family. Their needs are almost always met in time, so it is no wonder that these children can't tell what they need from what they like. Because in his heart, everything is his own. However, when he came to the small group of friends, the original concept didn't work, so he achieved his goal through robbery.
..... "Door mat" type
Such children are often wronged in kindergartens, and they dare not resist or tell their teachers. Only when I get home, will I tell the adults, hoping to get comfort from my family and help myself. What they lack most is the courage and methods to face difficulties. These children can't find their place among their peers.
..... "Mimosa" type
Such children are timid, shy, insecure and even escape from reality in front of everyone. What such children lack is not the performance skills, but the confidence to perform in front of everyone.
..... "Lone Ranger" type
This kind of child shows completely different duality at home and outside. Folk commonly known as "there are dragons at home and worms outside." Many children have this situation. At this time, parents need to reflect: why are children alive and kicking at home, but they are silent outside? Many times, we care and love our children in every way at home, so the family becomes the best harbor for children, and children feel safe, happy and satisfied. At the same time, have we ever thought that while giving children happiness and satisfaction, have we paid attention to cultivating their ability to leave the family harbor and face the wind and waves alone?
Third, the factors that affect children's social communication ability.
Social competence is a comprehensive ability as well as a practical ability, including cooperation, sharing, empathy, humility, obeying rules and so on. It has a very important influence on children's learning ability, ability to adapt to the new environment and social adaptability when they grow up. Children with poor communication skills in the early days have poor social adaptability and learning ability when they grow up. On the contrary, children with strong communication skills have strong social adaptability and relatively good academic performance. Personal social communication ability and corresponding psychological quality have taken shape in the early stage, so children's social communication ability should be cultivated as soon as possible.
From the current analysis of children's social interaction, the main factors affecting children's social interaction are as follows:
1, family members
Family members play a vital role in children's social interaction. Parents should create communication conditions for their children and send them to kindergarten as soon as possible. However, to cultivate children's good communication skills, it is not enough to rely solely on kindergartens. Parents, as their children's first teachers, are teachers who don't stop class. They should try their best to influence their children subtly. Some parents neglect communication with their children because of their busy work; Some parents use excessive "love" to limit their children's communication space. For example, a mother said that she seldom took her children to public places because she was afraid that air pollution would make her children sick and she might accidentally lose her children while shopping. Afraid of this and that, and so on, children are like caged birds, how can they have the opportunity to know the society and interact with people?
2. Living environment
In the past, most of them lived in bungalows, and children could move freely outside, with more opportunities to contact people and wide communication space. The only child now is too lonely. Reinforced concrete and high-rise courtyards seem to have built small cages for them. You can't get out inside, you can't get in outside. Parents usually come home from work and the security door is closed. Few parents can rest assured that their children can go outdoors to find a companion. Many times, parents are busy with their own affairs. Children play with a bunch of toys, a game machine and a bunch of books, and don't communicate with anyone. In this regard, parents should also create a condition and environment for their children to communicate with others, so that children can entertain more guests in their daily lives, take their children out for a walk on holidays, or invite their children's friends to be guests at home and treat them warmly. You can also discuss with friends, relatives and neighbors, take your children to visit each other, and increase their opportunities to get in touch with society and communicate with others. Only by doing activities with children can we establish a good partnership through our own practice, so that children can get exercise in repeated exchanges and are willing to communicate with others. Children are a mirror of adults, and many behaviors of children are imitated from adults. Parents should realize that children will inevitably have friction and quarrel together. They quarreled because they had a sense of self and began to highlight their own reasons. It is in the process of quarreling with your partner that you can master the behavior of getting along with others and improve your ability to solve problems. They will realize that if they want to get along well with others, they should consider not only their own needs, but also the needs of others. Parents must not equate some disputes and conflicts between children with contradictions between adults, and must not educate their children "not to suffer losses", or even forcibly interfere with their children and prevent them from meeting and interacting. When there is a quarrel between children, parents should not make a fuss at first, but let their children gradually realize the truth of harmonious coexistence with others in the quarrel, and let them learn how to face small problems in communication "alone"; Secondly, we should give timely guidance, cultivate children to be brave in correcting mistakes and forgiving others, and help each other and be compassionate in communication. Quarrel forces children to change from self-centered to others-centered and society-centered, which is conducive to cultivating children's social skills.
3. One-sided education
For the growth of young children, many parents unilaterally understand that it is enough to learn more knowledge and master more skills. Therefore, parents and children who have participated in many interest classes are exhausted, not only failing to learn well, but also depriving their children of time to play games and reducing the opportunities for children to communicate.
Fourth, the cultivation of children's social communication ability.
1, pay attention to homepage synchronization
"Home Synchronization" can create a communication environment for children, provide communication opportunities and expand the scope of communication. An educator once said, "School education without family education and family education without school education cannot accomplish extremely detailed and complicated educational tasks." The study of social behavior and the cultivation of communication ability are a long-term and continuous process. Parents and teachers need to have the same goal and work together to achieve better results. The most basic range of children's communication is family and kindergarten, and the ultimate goal of parents and kindergarten educators is to cultivate useful people for society. Therefore, the cultivation of children's communication skills must also be shared by both families and kindergartens, and both sides are indispensable. Kindergarten education should rely on the unanimous cooperation of parents and be strengthened in family life, so as to achieve the expected results. Only when the homes are synchronized can we better provide opportunities for children to communicate and better cultivate their communication skills.
..... create a good psychological environment.
In kindergarten, teachers should be kind to children, get along with them as partners, and let them talk, think, do things and play as if they were at home in the garden. In the family, parents should be children's intimate friends and playmates, and play with their children.
..... create a good material environment.
Kindergarten has set up various game activity areas, such as doll house, small hospital, painting corner and so on. Let children experience how to communicate with their peers in the process of playing; If conditions permit, families should provide their children with a small game corner or activity room as much as possible, so that they can have their own place after returning home.
..... expand the scope of communication.
Kindergartens should pay attention to providing children with opportunities for free communication in all aspects of daily life: pay attention to free communication time in class; Provide free play time for children in the game; Break class boundaries and carry out large-scale activities; Know the surrounding labor chefs, doctors in the health care room, doormen, etc. Let children respect them and actively associate with them; Through parents' open days, home fun and other activities, let children contact more adults, provide opportunities for children to communicate, and let children's emotions and emotions be revealed. In the family, parents try to spare half an hour every day to communicate and play games with their children; If you go out, visit relatives and friends, socialize, etc. You can take your children with you; Let the children go shopping alone, buy salt, buy fruit, etc. Broaden one's horizons and expand the scope of communication; Allow children to invite friends to play at home, or set up a friendly group in a way of living near and far away, so that children can take turns to play at their children's home once a week. In this way, children's communication opportunities have increased and the scope of communication has expanded. In communication, children learn how to get along with others and know some codes of conduct for being a man.
2. Pay attention to the cultivation of polite habits and cooperative spirit.
..... cultivate children's manners.
Politeness is one of the factors that affect communication. Only when you are polite will others be willing to associate with you. Therefore, families and kindergartens should pay attention to the cultivation of polite habits. When they meet their elders, they should let their children say hello to them. In parks, shops and buses, they should be polite to people. If you ask someone for help, you will say please and thank you. If you disturb others, you will say sorry. It doesn't matter. These polite habits are mainly through: (1) the subtle influence of kindergarten and family adults on children, teaching by example is more important than words, and parents and teachers set an example for children; (2) It is much better to educate children to be polite in the form of stories, nursery rhymes and games than simply preaching.
..... cultivate children's cooperative spirit.
Nowadays, most cities are only children, and too much family and social protection makes most only children develop bad habits such as willfulness, selfishness, self-centeredness and non-cooperation. These bad habits make children behave more fully in this small group of kindergartens, and make children frustrated in their communication. Therefore, in the process of cultivating children's social communication ability, we must attach importance to the cultivation of children's cooperative spirit.
..... group games
Team game is a game in which many people participate together. In the game, everyone should encourage and support each other, and Qi Xin should work together, abide by certain rules and work together towards the same goal to make the game more interesting. For example, the simplest game, "Walking on the Collaborative Board", is difficult to move if some people walk with their left feet and some with their right feet. Only by keeping pace with each other and working together with Qi Xin can we achieve our goal. Every team game involves cooperation. Only by cooperation can there be more chances of success and more happiness in the game, so that children can experience the happiness of successful cooperation. Parents should put aside their worries, send their children to kindergarten as soon as possible, let them adapt to collective life and learn to cooperate with others in collective life. Kindergartens should create more opportunities for children to cooperate with others, organize more group games that are conducive to cultivating cooperative spirit, let children interact with others, participate in group activities, and exercise their cooperative spirit in the group.
..... six subjects teaching activities
The cultivation of cooperative spirit permeates the teaching of music, physical education, beauty, English, convention and design in kindergarten. For example, group games in physical education, cooperative painting in art teaching, cooperative story-making and puppet-making in Chinese teaching, cooperative experiment in common sense teaching, cooperative application problems in computing teaching, etc. Are conducive to cultivating children's spirit of cooperation. Teachers should create more opportunities for children, let them taste the sweetness of cooperation and be willing to cooperate and communicate.
..... rule consciousness
In the process of cultivating children's communicative competence, it is very important to cultivate children's awareness of rules. There are certain norms in interpersonal communication, and failure to abide by them will frustrate communication. For example, when visiting other people's homes, the first rule to follow is politeness, don't rummage around and don't tamper with other people's things. If you don't follow these codes of conduct, others will certainly not welcome you and won't invite you to be a guest next time. If you can follow the rules, you will have more and more contacts. Therefore, in the process of cultivating children's communicative competence, children must learn to abide by some codes of conduct, enhance their awareness of rules, and let them know that only by obeying certain rules can they be happy in communication. These awareness of rules are formed under the subtle and conscious education of parents and teachers in daily life. Therefore, parents and teachers should standardize their own behaviors, set an example for their children in communication, and let them gradually enhance their awareness of rules and experience the happiness of successful communication.
3. Pay attention to the diversity of training methods.
Children's communication skills mainly include negotiation skills, insertion skills and communication skills, which directly affect the quality and scope of children's communication and their communication ability. When cultivating children's communication skills, we can cultivate children's communication skills in the following ways:
..... Scene performance
Such as: the situational performance "play house". Three children are playing house, Liang Liang wants to participate in the game, so they go to discuss with them. The three children disagreed, saying that "one of us is a father, one is a mother, and the other is just a child" and asked the children to find ways to give Liang Liang advice. Some people say that "Liang Liang can be an uncle", others say that "Liang Liang can be a brother", and others say that "Liang Liang can exchange toys with other children". I will play whatever role they lack, and according to the children's answers, the performance will continue. Through this form, children can know that they can negotiate with others, exchange toys and plug them in at will, so that they can play with others in daily life.
..... Mentor Debate Competition.
According to the examples of children's problems in daily communication, put forward or implement them and let parents analyze how to solve them. For example, Binbin's children have a luminous gun, and they want to play. If Binbin doesn't give it to them, they will fight for it. What should parents do at this time? Let parents talk about their own practices and ideas, and then move on. Binbin's mother first teaches her children that new toys will be fun to play with other children, and then plays the game of police catching bad guys. Binbin and Qiang Qiang take turns to play the role of police and play with guns, so that the contradiction between the two children can be solved quickly and they can also play games happily. In this way, parents can raise their awareness in the debate and understand how to cultivate their children's communication skills in the family.
..... adults participate in the game.
When parents and teachers are playmates in children's daily life, children will be willing to accept the advice of adults, and adults can also teach their communication skills directly to children in games. For example, in the role game, teachers and parents are the store manager and hospital doctor respectively, and children learn some skills in the interaction with adults, knowing how managers manage others, how doctors receive patients and treat patients, and so on.
..... self-protection consciousness
Society is a big family, and there are many unstable factors in society. Therefore, when cultivating children's communicative competence, parents and teachers must pay attention to educating children not to accept gifts and food from strangers easily, not to invite strangers to their homes casually, not to walk with strangers casually, and not to believe strangers' sweet words, so that children can distinguish right from wrong and raise their awareness of self-protection.
"It takes ten years to plant trees, but it takes a hundred years to cultivate children's social communication ability and shape their complete personality. It can't be done overnight, and it can't be done overnight. It needs the cooperation, mutual promotion and mutual improvement of all educational forces. It is more necessary to persevere, use all available resources and methods, and adhere to the all-round development of kindergartens, families and society in order to cultivate a generation of high-quality talents that meet the requirements of the times.
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On the role of peer communication in children's social development
Lin Hong
Peer communication refers to the communication between children and their peers. Everyone is similar in age, with similar interests and equal control, and there is a free and relaxed atmosphere. Children can fully express themselves, find themselves, affirm themselves, and feel positive and happy psychologically. For children, it is their own society. This kind of peer interaction increases with children's age and becomes an important factor in their social development.
The role of peer communication in children's social development is mainly manifested in the following aspects:
First of all, peer communication helps to promote the development of their cognitive ability.
Cognitive ability is an important part of children's social development, which can lay a good foundation for children to master social norms and learn social behavior. In peer communication, different children have different life experiences and cognitive basis, and they also have different behaviors in common activities, which provides important opportunities for children to share knowledge and experience, imitate each other and learn. At the same time, peer communication also provides children with a lot of opportunities for peer communication, direct teaching, consultation and discussion. Children often discuss various uses of objects or solutions to problems together. All these are very helpful for children to expand their knowledge, enrich their knowledge and cultivate their ability to think, operate and solve problems. Take the common imitation behavior in life as an example: in art activities, we often find that the works of children in the same group or two close companions are somewhat similar, which is actually related to their frequent communication activities.
Second, peer communication promotes the development of children's positive emotions.
Children without companions will have negative emotions, and if they have no companions for a long time, this negative emotion will stabilize into bad self-feeling, which will seriously hinder the psychological development of children and hinder the process of individual socialization. Peer communication can give children a sense of security and belonging, thus making them feel relaxed, lively and happy. It is found that children often show happy emotions in peer communication, because there are many factors that create happiness in communication: children's suggestions are adopted by peers; Building blocks together, being praised by teachers and so on. , can get happiness and satisfaction.
As Eric Fromm once said, "Only by working hand in hand with our compatriots and sharing weal and woe can we find happiness and satisfaction." Happiness is the most basic positive emotion, which includes the experience of strength and trust; Happiness can infect people around you, attract more companions and create more happiness; Happiness is good for health; Happiness helps to form an optimistic and cheerful personality. These are really the expectations of society for personal emotional development. During my internship, I met two little girls, An An and Yi Yi, who are both flat and introverted children. On an outing, I accidentally found that they were good friends. When they were together, they were very lively and cheerful, which was nothing like being alone. So I can arrange future activities together. I found that this not only promoted their happy communication mood, but also helped them overcome their usual timidity with the happiness of peer communication.
Peer communication is of great benefit to the ability to regulate self-emotion and the development of healthy emotion. If children are proud of winning in competition and communication with their peers, this is acceptable to their peers; But then, he will feel proud and show this antipathy in words and deeds, which will make the children have to adjust their emotions, otherwise they will be rejected by the group. With long-term communication with peers, children's emotions will develop in a healthy direction that meets social requirements.
Third, peer communication is conducive to the development of children's social communication ability and prosocial behavior.
Social ability is a comprehensive ability and a practical ability. The so-called prosocial behavior is considered by western psychologists to be beneficial to others and society. Performance: take turns, help others, cooperate, be humble, share, etc.
In peer communication, on the one hand, children send out social behaviors, such as smiles, requests and invitations. And make corresponding adjustments according to the reaction of the other party, so that their self-regulation and gas control ability has been developed. Self-adjustment ability is also an essential ability for social communication. On the other hand, peer feedback is usually direct and frank. If you send out positive behaviors such as friendliness, cooperation and sharing, your partner will respond to you positively and lovingly. However, if you make negative behaviors such as robbing people, arresting people, monopolizing others, your peers' reaction will be denial, disgust and rejection.
This kind of rich and direct feedback is conducive to cultivating children's good behavior and transforming it into some stable communication skills. If there is a four-year-old boy, he is smart and active. He saw his companions having fun together, so he went to watch and grabbed his favorite toys. Asked why he robbed his companions of their toys, he was wronged: "I'm not robbing toys, I want to play with them." It can be seen that his subjective consciousness just wants to participate in communication, but he doesn't know how to communicate in behavior. By chance, his companion traded his car for Transformers. He is very happy because he likes cars best. This little communication not only brings him happiness, but also inspires his communication skills. Since then, if he wants to play with a toy, he will not blindly grab it, but negotiate and exchange with his companions.
Fourthly, peer interaction makes positive preparations for their future social role-playing.
It is found that children are very interested in social roles in the adult world. They like to play role games, and persistently imitate, explore and understand social roles, making positive preparations for their future social roles. And all this is achieved in peer interaction.
Take a common doll house in kindergarten as an example, which includes children's understanding, understanding and learning about gender roles and family roles. I have seen such an exchange plot: three girls over five years old argued endlessly about who to be a mother in the "home". Suddenly, girl A found the reason: "Today, the teacher praised me as an able person, and only an able person can be a mother." Girl B immediately suddenly realized: "Today, the teacher praised me, and I am also very capable. I can also be a mother. " Girl c had to give up: "well, I'll be a child, and you two guess boxing, and whoever wins will be the mother." As a result, B won, and A said unconvinced, "I'm going to be a grandmother, but grandma is my mother's mother." How devoted! In the process of preparing for social roles, we should constantly improve our understanding of social roles.
Of course, the role of peer communication in children's social development goes far beyond the above four aspects, and there are other functions, such as helping the development of self-concept and personality and getting rid of "egocentrism", so I won't elaborate here.
References:
Zhang Wenxin, Social Development of Children, Beijing Normal University Press,1988,8.
Chen, Pang, Developmental Psychology of Preschool Children, Beijing Normal University Press.