No, confiscation is not the key. The key is how parents should look at this matter.
To solve a problem, we must first learn to look at one thing.
There is a reason and a process for a thing to happen, and then there is a result. When we face our children's studies, we often see achievements.
For example, is the study of children playing mobile phones affected? Is playing mobile phone the reason? Don't! It is because children have problems in the learning process that it takes time to find a mobile phone.
What is the root cause?
The fundamental reason is that children can't find a sense of accomplishment in their studies at first, and at the same time, their mental strength is not strong enough to return to their studies through hard work, which makes their brains start to wander and find a second-best way to kill time.
Therefore, to find the real reason, we should start with the cause, rather than treating the symptoms. Therefore, the confiscation of mobile phones is not a suggested problem, but the way we handle the problem is wrong.
Even if the mobile phone is confiscated, he can find other ways to kill time. For example, when he is in class at school, he passes notes, is distracted and reads extracurricular books. So at this time, there is nothing we can do to stop it?
What are we going to do now?
There's an old saying in China, it's called: You can't plant flowers with your heart, but you can't plant willows without your heart.
Psychologically, we try to pay less attention to current affairs. When our attention decreases, children's attention to themselves will increase.
There is often only one main party to a matter. If more people pay attention to this matter, its efficiency is actually very low.
Therefore, we should gradually transfer this responsibility to the children. As for how to transfer, there needs to be a push-pull process. Our role is to push, so what the children have to do is to pull.
However, according to the child's current ability, it is impossible. First of all, he has no needs, and needs come from his own desires. Therefore, we must first solve it from his desire. There are many solutions, but as far as the current problems are concerned, parents' ability is not enough to influence their children, or they can't communicate effectively with their children, so they can't give them correct guidance from the subject and spirit now. It is suggested to help them with external help.
1. Accept him and tolerate him;
We should expect the decisions and behaviors made by children. When our children behave badly, we shouldn't scold them too much. At this time, we will adopt an attitude of understanding him, which will let the children put down, let them feel the warmth around them, and feel the love and support of their families. Slowly, he will make self-adjustment, which may take longer. She needs to get used to it. We need to wait inside.
2. Use his advantages to affirm him;
There must be many advantages in children. We should explore them one by one, and then take every opportunity to sincerely and reasonably affirm him.
3. Contact with open and positive people and things, and give children an open direction to do things;
First: Let children get in touch with high-quality social life as much as possible.
In your spare time, take your children to some large museums and libraries as much as possible. After going, children may not look at what's inside, but they will overhear what people around them are saying. The speaker has no intention, but the listener has intention. In such an environment, he will gradually feel that the quality of what he is doing is not high enough, and he will gradually have the idea of pursuing a high-quality life. Let him see the people who really work hard in this era; Let him see that the world is not what his eyes can see now; The elites in this world are struggling, and they are all people with great pursuits; Let him feel the charm of these people; To feel the passionate thoughts of these people.
Second: It's best to take the children to see experts on weekends. You can chat at will and talk about meaningful things you have experienced in the past, whether it is pain or happiness, it must be the most true. The more detailed the better. This has produced what kind of life sentiment. By the way, look forward to the future, what are your plans for the next step, how to do it, and why to do it, so that children can feel the quality, spirit and soul of the real masters of this era.