How to educate children to establish a correct attitude in the face of failure (1)
People will encounter certain difficulties and setbacks in their life. Especially young children, lacking experience and experience, are more likely to encounter failures and setbacks. When encountering failures and setbacks, children may be at a loss, frustrated and lose enthusiasm and confidence. At this time, I told my child: "Don't be afraid, as long as you work hard, you will do well." In daily activities, I had a conflict with my child, and the child ignored her. I said, "Hey, aren't you doing a good job? Go and admit your mistakes to your children, and they will accept you. " In the activities, consciously take setbacks and failures as educational opportunities, and guide children to regain their courage, face setbacks boldly and confidently, and solve problems.
(B) synchronization of family education
The healthy growth of children needs the joint efforts, education and influence of kindergartens, families and society. The unsynchronization and inconsistency of family members in the process of upbringing is an important problem in current family education. During my home visit, I learned that I am a typical "bully" in my family. My grandparents and parents have been following her, and I have never been wronged since I was a child. So I went to kindergarten and lived with my children. She was willful, selfish and overbearing. Therefore, parents should closely cooperate with the education of kindergartens and teachers, and family members should reach an agreement on the ways and means of education. In addition, we should learn scientific parenting knowledge, listen to experts' educational lectures, exchange experiences with other experienced parents, and promote each other to achieve high-quality improvement of educational effects.
(C) with the help of the power of example
During the day's activities in kindergarten, I often tell children about the growth and success of some celebrities in setbacks by stories and dialogues, and encourage children like you to follow the example of celebrities and not be afraid of setbacks; Let attractive parents tell their children more stories, such as what difficulties they have encountered and how to treat and solve them; As a teacher, I also told her some examples about my resistance to setbacks. Let me take my parents and teachers as examples to enhance my confidence in resisting setbacks. Peer is also the child's "teacher". I seize every opportunity to guide and encourage me to learn from my friends' good behavior and face all kinds of difficulties bravely. For example, I dare not climb on the internet. I encourage you to say, "Don't be afraid, you can do it!" " You will be as brave as Xinxin, and the teacher believes you! "I have a problem with my little friend and encourage her to try to solve it herself.
Affirm the progress of children
Every progress a child makes in the process of growing up will bring great surprises to his parents, such as catching toys for the first time, calling mom and dad for the first time, washing socks by himself for the first time, and getting a "star baby" for the first time ... These progress of children are all achieved with the encouragement and praise of parents. So on the one hand, I remind parents not to be stingy with their children's praise, so that children can accumulate courage and motivation to bear setbacks, overcome difficulties and achieve success from their parents' affirmation and praise. On the other hand, when I encounter difficulties in kindergarten and want to give up, I will help her analyze the reasons in time, adjust my mood, rebuild my confidence, never let nature take its course or be cynical, and also educate other children not to laugh at each other.
How to educate children to face failure and tell them what failure is?
Many times, it is often not the failure itself that brings the biggest blow to children, but his understanding of failure. For example, I didn't do well in the exam because I didn't concentrate in class, not because I was dumber than others.
Children who lack "anti-frustration ability" often attribute their setbacks or failures to some seemingly "unchangeable reasons": "I am too stupid, I just can't learn numbers"; Or "common cause": "I can't do this well, and I can't do anything well"; Or "reasons for self-reproach": "I can't find friends in the new kindergarten because no one likes me." ……
Children with strong "frustration tolerance" look at problems in the opposite way. In their view, setbacks are only temporary and not necessarily their own fault.
The key to doing this failure analysis is to let children see that the reasons for failure can be changed by themselves.
Give your child a chance to encounter setbacks.
If you always put your child under your wing to help him stop injury and failure, then he will never learn how to bear the blow alone. Older children sometimes take the initiative to refuse to try something new or something they think is difficult. But if your goal is just to "try" rather than "succeed", children will be more receptive.
At first, 6-year-old Mingming was afraid to take part in the school piano competition, but his mother told him, "You don't have to rank. We just want to learn how to play when there are many audiences. " Finally, Pumbaa happily took part in the competition, and his performance was still very good. The skill of smart parents is that even a failed effort will make their children feel that they have gained something from it.
Son, "Mom and Dad will accompany you."
The source of children's self-confidence is not necessarily the first place in the exam, nor is it necessarily good at dancing or piano. Many times, a child's greatest sense of accomplishment comes from your treasure and pride in him. "I am the most important person in my mother's mind", which feels good.
Therefore, be sure to leave some time for your child and accompany him wholeheartedly. Whether it's the breakfast you make for him, the songs you must read before going to bed, or the half-hour game, you should set aside some time for your child from your busy life-even if you take him to the supermarket for shopping on weekends. When these hours become a habit of daily life, children will know that no matter what everyone is doing, no matter what happens in life, no matter how busy their parents are, they will definitely have time to be with themselves and solve problems together.
Encouragement and help
Encouraging your children to care and help others is a good way to build their self-confidence and sense of independence. When you help others, you will find your own ability-if you can help others change their lives, you must have the ability to change your own.
For younger children, they can be encouraged to accompany their grandmother for a walk in the yard, and children can help with some simple housework. Every child can successfully fight against the storm of life, and the key is whether you create suitable opportunities for him.