Fan Deng said he had three ways to get rid of it? China's parents' anxiety? This sentence makes all parents watching the live broadcast shine! He said: If you, as a parent, think that you are anxious, complicated and laborious in disciplining your children, then your method must be wrong! Because taking care of children is the best thing in the world. If you do the three methods mentioned by Fan Deng today, you won't feel that the harder you work, the more mistakes you make!
The root of parents' anxiety and pain: I hope that children will grow up according to their own ideas. Anxiety has nowhere to put it. If you love someone, you will put it on them. It is true to hope that children have good study habits, but it is wrong to use anxiety to achieve it. It is useless for you to educate your children! Torture from the depths of the soul? Do you think children are like cars or forests? ?
Children are actually a complex system. Fan Deng gave an example: many families regard children as a simple system, and divide the criteria for evaluating children into good language, good English and bad English. However, in the end, I can't get the result I want. Parents suffer, children suffer. ? There are many such children around, and they are all trained in this way. Although I was admitted to a good university, I didn't like studying when I finally got to the university, and I was not interested in my job after graduation. ? Fan Deng said? Because of these children, these life forms were destroyed. ? However, all complex systems are driven by simple rules. What panacea can make it easy to educate children? Become less anxious? There are three simple rules that you can take care of him:
1 Love children unconditionally, making mistakes is common, but do you know? Before criticizing, you should emphasize? We love you, so we are responsible for you. This is absolutely not allowed? Emphasize after criticism? But we still love you very much. ! At this time, you can't make a hullabaloo about and threaten. You should treat your children as adults. Simply put, how do you get along with your colleagues, how do you communicate with your colleagues, and how do you communicate with your children! Otherwise, how fierce you are to your child, how fierce he will be to you during his rebellious period!
The evolutionary path of complex systems with a sense of value depends on finding bright spots. Simple systems rely on finding faulty nonconforming items. When children make mistakes, don't be busy criticizing, but help find solutions together. When children do the right thing, it is the best time to shape their character. Whether this is an accidental practice of children or an intentional one, it should be encouraged and recognized in time. Use adjectives to describe children's behavior. This can improve children's self-esteem. Otherwise, the child will constantly raise the threshold for driving his mother crazy. Children can't feel their sense of value!
So, how to make children feel valuable? You just need to remember one sentence: look for the child's bright spot, not find fault with the child. When children do something wrong, what opportunities do parents have to do it? It's time for parents to establish close relationship with their children. Emotional guidance is also a way to enhance the sense of value, so what should be done? When the child appeared. Patience, love, friendship, self-discipline and relaxation? When the behavior you are waiting for happens, please tell your child immediately, tell him: this is a very good behavior, this is an act of love, and this is a very self-discipline performance. What you did just now was patient and friendly. Mom likes you like this? In this way, the child's good behavior will be fixed and his sense of value will be improved.
People who are in a state of lifelong growth can be roughly divided into two types, one is a person with a fixed mentality and the other is a person with a growing mentality. Fixed mentality:? Fixed mentality? Some people don't believe that their ability can be further improved, and they always feel that they can do their best now. Most? Words. ? Fixed mentality? Some people are easy to be complacent, afraid of failure, avoiding difficulties and difficult to achieve. Growth mentality:? Growth mentality? Some people believe that their abilities can grow and progress, and they can always do better next time. Do they often talk? More? Words. ? Growth mentality? Some people are often able to face difficulties and improvise, and usually make greater achievements.
Growing parents: not only will they set goals for their children, but they will also give them room to grow. Respect children's interests, attach importance to complete personality, and encourage children to live a better life in their own way.
Fixed parents: don't care about their children's interests and potential, just ask them to achieve the desired results. Otherwise, you will feel that the child seems to have lost its due value. With these three magic weapons, every ordinary parent can educate a successful and happy child.