All walks of life need to work with certificates, but being a parent is a profession that can work without a license. After the child is born, due to the lack of necessary educational ability, parents will encounter various unresolved problems during the child's growth. The growth of children needs the companionship and guidance of parents, which requires parents to keep learning to accompany their children to grow up.
1, necessary learning ability
The first accomplishment that smart parents need is the ability to learn. Everyone has read books, including parents. But the times are developing, the knowledge is updating, the environment is changing, and the concept is also changing. My own experience of "thinking about the past and thinking about the future" is out of date, "old shoes can't get into the feet of growing up anyway", and the educational experience inherited from grandparents and parents needs to distinguish the advantages and disadvantages in practice, which is outdated and which is a classic that can be passed down, which requires parents to have their own unique insights and discrimination, and the acquisition of this discrimination requires continuous learning; Moreover, children are growing up. Kindergarten education is different from junior high school children, and senior high school children and college children have different educational concerns. Every stage of a child's life has its own laws. Parents need proper education according to these laws, which may require parents to continue their studies; Moreover, children are different from children. Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude is a truth that everyone knows, but what a child is like needs the observation and judgment of parents and their guidance. The keen observation of parents comes from self-study.
2. Necessary psychological knowledge
Psychology is a strange term for ordinary parents, but the growth of children can not be separated from the traction and guidance of psychology. Words such as interest, effort, concern, emotion, happiness, motivation, imagination, etc. really accompany every child's growth. Whether parents' "eye" can identify what kind of "hero" a child is requires parents to understand the child's psychology and related knowledge of psychology. How to turn children's direct interest into indirect interest, what kind of stimulation and guidance interest needs, how to make things interesting, how to control emotions, what is the relationship between desire and interest, what role interest will play, what factors are needed to stimulate motivation and so on. These questions need psychological answers. A wise parent is wise, because he can keep pace with the times, grow up with the child's development stage, and lead and guide the child's development.
3. Necessary knowledge of pedagogy
Education is primarily about personal growth and development, not grades, grades, rankings or remedial classes. These just cover the eyes of many parents, and the style of impetuous coping and quick success extends to the campus through the hands of parents, which is not only a magic weapon for children, but also the lifeblood of parents. If you don't do well in the exam, you can add a chicken leg with a stick Let nature take its course, and many parents have nothing to do. The mobile phone was brushed day by day, and Tik Tok watched it again and again. The solution to a couple's quarrel is to throw things. And every child is a natural imitator, and the bad habits of the family extend to the school. Dewey said that education is life, children need to "learn by doing", the direction of future education is to pay attention to the process of children's experience and practice, and parents are the providers of children's practical opportunities. Knowing and being able to educate is a necessary quality for a wise parent.
4. Have the ability to persist in growth.
Teacher Gan Guoxiang said that parents don't deliberately set an example for their children, but they should set an example for their children when they grow up. All child-centered families are ultimately a tragedy. Companionship is a good way for parents to lead their children to grow up, but parents who insist on their own growth inadvertently set a positive and optimistic example for their children. The child's eyes are sharp, the imitation is amazing, and the explosive force is also full. Therefore, what parents want their children to look like and grow into what they like is the biggest guidance for their children.
5. Executive power
In many educational practices, we will find that everyone understands the truth, but the implementation effect is different for different parents. I once met such parents. In the process of dealing with the contradiction between mother and child, the children are pressing hard and the parents are retreating step by step. All the methods taught by teachers are zero in front of children. "Teach what not to sing" is a local saying, which means that you have no ability to learn, not ideas, ideas and methods that grow in your mind, and no matter how others teach you, you can't teach them. Without the foundation of Tao, there is no perfection of technology. The same event, if you are another parent, the effect may be a thousand times better. Therefore, execution also needs to be included in one of the essential qualities of smart parents.
6. knowing can do it.
There is a gap between knowing and executing. Children are like this, and so are adult parents. We often complain that children can't persist, that their perseverance is not strong enough, that their will is useless in their growth, and that they are cowardly, delicate and not afraid of the cold. I don't know, so do adult parents. At the parent-teacher meeting, I asked parents to set up a reading family, unload Tik Tok, put down their mobile phones, pick up books, and accompany their children when they do their homework. After the notice is issued, some parents can implement it. More parents know that this is a good thing and understand the teacher's initial intention and purpose, but they can't. Every day is wrapped in the past. Therefore, I want to say that parents should not ask their children to do things they have not done. It is parents' wishful thinking to lay eggs and expect them to fly. Only when parents are transparent in the integration of knowledge and practice can they lead their children's growth.
7. Have the consciousness of cultivating children's "adversity quotient"
EQ, IQ and adversity quotient are the three swordsmen to promote a person's development. In the process of children's growth, IQ comes from heredity to a greater extent, which is an uncontrollable factor. Emotional quotient and adversity quotient are more important. Looking back at history, most people who achieved great things did not have smooth sailing. On the contrary, they have experienced a lot of pain and cold, and then they are in high spirits and fly high. The same is true of children's growth. However, many of our parents are too protective of their children, too fond of them, afraid of everything and unwilling to let go of anything. Children who have never experienced a real failure think that the sky will collapse, the ground will collapse and people will die after failing an exam; There is a misunderstanding between classmates that people are unpredictable and can't make it. Jumping off a building, a bridge or a river, life is worthless before the "three jumps". Parents' advice that "life is worse than death" is even worse. Reflecting on our parents, we over-coddled and over-unified, failed to cultivate our children's sense of adversity quotient, and only drank our own bitter wine.
8. Have the ability of philosophical thinking.
Philosophy is an abstract word, which is divided into two parts; People can't step on the same river; Philosophy can't be eaten as a meal, but people can't live just to eat, which belongs to philosophy. Today's social development speed, social development environment and globalization process make various social phenomena chaotic and complicated. With the help of parents and the media, ideas such as following the crowd and following the crowd have also infiltrated the campus, impacting the scientific style of "independence, preciseness, science and pragmatism" on campus. As parents, we should have the ability to see the essence through phenomena and the sky through clouds. This requires understanding philosophy, speculation, classics and laws, covering up the haze for children on their own, and returning the blue sky and white clouds of children's growth.
9. Have the ability to plan ahead.
Everything is established in advance, and it is abolished if it is not foreseen. We can't wait until there is a problem to solve. The process of children's growth is complicated, so parents should plan ahead, plan ahead and be prepared. When the problem comes, don't worry, solve the problem reasonably and legally, especially in the child's adolescence, parents' preparation, parents' understanding and parents' ability to deal with the problem will greatly reduce the child's impulse, confrontation, risk and contradiction.
10, capable of planning family vision.
Children with goals go far. Children with goals in the family are far-sighted, active in thinking, have their own ideas and plans, and have a sense of responsibility for the family. They are broad-minded, not limited to temporary gains and losses, but also have a strong interest in self-development and their own development momentum. They can try their best to overcome problems in their daily life and work hard for their own goals. However, children are children after all. Without the external stimulation and guidance of his parents, he may give up all his efforts. At this time, the role of parents reappears, parents' educational skills reappear, children's sense of family responsibility is stimulated again, and the feelings of home and country are ignited again. It is no longer a dream to let children realize their life value.
In short, the pattern of parents determines the height of children, and children develop on their parents' shoulders. In this sense, "fighting dad" is not a derogatory term.