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How to face the life of grade three?
Correctly face the "third grade syndrome"

Chen Mou is the apple of his family's eye. His parents go out to work, and his family is well-off. Chen Mou was taken care of by her grandparents until the third grade of junior high school, and she got good grades and was very obedient. In order for Chen Mou to be admitted to a key high school, her mother quit her job and went home to help Chen Mou prepare for the exam in the third grade. She asks about the children's diet and daily life every day, and ponders the matters needing attention in review and examination. She tried her best to do everything she could think of. However, what makes my mother sad and puzzled is that Chen Mou's grades have not improved, but have regressed, and the relationship between mother and daughter has become stiff. One day, she even offered to go to school for boarding, saying that this home made her feel suffocated and agitated. My mother kept crying in front of her and asked, "What did I do wrong? What else do you want? "

I have been in charge of the senior three graduating class for many years. After understanding the above situation, I made a questionnaire survey for the students in Grade Three. The survey results may give some answers to Chen Mou's mother: 54% of the candidates want to say to their parents: "Don't always ask me what I took the exam, don't nag me every day ..." What I want to say to the teacher is: "I hope the teacher will take the time to communicate with me and listen to me: I am so tired." In a word, I am very anxious, very anxious.

According to experts, students facing the pressure of senior high school entrance examination are more or less suffering from "Grade Three Syndrome".

First, the four manifestations of "syndrome"

The third grade is the focus of parents, teachers and classmates in students' learning career. At this stage, their study burden is heavier than before, and their psychological state is more complicated than before. Their temper has become irritable, impulsive and irritable, mainly in the following four aspects:

1, that "the score is the most important". As a graduating class student, it is natural to put your grades first. However, when some students arrive at the graduating class, perhaps because of various pressures, they regard grades as the only pursuit and exclude others, pay insufficient attention to the group, do not actively participate in group activities, and do not properly handle the relationship between classmates.

This "achievement-only" utilitarian psychology is not conducive to the healthy growth of students' psychology. Students with this psychology have poor psychological endurance, which often leads to great changes in their grades and cannot stand setbacks.

2. egocentric. Some students whose academic performance is in the middle level in the class are paid less attention by teachers because of their "roles", and it is easy to form a psychology that their learning goals are unclear and they are easy to be satisfied with the status quo. However, their basic personal qualities determine that they will not associate with "poor families" and "ideological and moral laggards". They are self-centered "middle class".

3. Give up on yourself. Students with learning difficulties have no confidence in learning when they reach the graduation class, with the increase of learning burden. Without care and help, they often give up on themselves and let themselves go.

4. Negative confrontation with teachers. Students with unsatisfactory academic performance and behavior habits are not only difficult to get friendly attention from teachers, but also may be under the "monitoring" of teachers for a long time. They often don't understand the teacher's intentions, reject all foreign education, and have a hostile tendency towards teachers.

Second, the mediation method of "syndrome"

The formation of "syndrome" is multifaceted, and parents, teachers and students themselves are responsible. If you have to tie the bell, you can mediate from the following aspects:

1, parents: communicate with children more.

The survey shows that more than 15% of students often have to accept their parents' pet phrases, such as "You are not cut out for study", "The whole family's hopes are pinned on you", "You have broken their parents' hearts" and "How many points do you think you should take this exam?" "I have never seen such a stupid child as you" and so on. Disrespect for children can not only spur children, but also lead them to shame, inferiority, injustice, disgust and unwillingness to make progress, and finally be defeated by negative attitudes. Hu Guozhi, an expert in education consulting at Yisi, introduced some communication skills with psychological support for parents' reference:

1), don't always ask your child how many points he scored. At the critical moment of reviewing for the exam, parents can't help asking their children how they did in the exam again and again. However, few people pay attention to children's feelings about such frequent questions. A survey conducted by Mr. Hu on 435 students who are about to enter the senior high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination found that 54% of the candidates want to say to their parents: "Don't always ask me what my score is", saying that their parents don't want to think about it. What kind of "extraordinary period" are we in? -Exam 369, with mock exams and exams every month. As the saying goes: victory or defeat is a common occurrence in military strategists. Who can be a winning general? But now many parents nag and say a lot of hurtful things when they are dissatisfied, which makes people unbearable.

2) Change "nagging" into "positive response". Feel the child's emotions from his subtle changes, tell him frankly, understand the pressure he is currently under, and know how uneasy or anxious he is. If you want your child to talk to you without worries, you should unconditionally accept his true feelings, and don't rush to judge whether his negative emotional value is worth it, let alone rush to preach. In fact, through full catharsis, this in itself plays the role of "psychotherapy" to relieve stress.

3) Relieve children's psychological stress. Guide more catharsis, put down the housework in your hand, listen to your child's heart attentively, pay attention to his emotions, and make him feel valued and cared for. You know, at this moment, understanding the child's feelings can let him pour out his heart and reduce the pressure.

I can see that you are depressed (or you are depressed, sad, disappointed ...) and don't know what to do. Let's see, where is the problem? "

Throw a challenge. The ultimate goal of communication is to help children face themselves. When parents become children's reliable friends, they can use challenging language to help children see their own shortcomings and problems clearly.

-"what do you think ... but I don't feel like what you said, do I?"

-"You said before ... now you say ... how can I understand what you said?"

4) Respect for children and communication full of love and expectation can often give children confidence and strength, help them overcome fear and self-confidence and face pressure in a positive state.

2. Teacher: Adjust students' psychology and create a "relaxed" learning environment.

Students are sensitive to the outside world: whether they are sleepy in study or confused in life, they are always affected, and their fatal weakness is their lack of cognitive experience in this field. Teachers can use the following methods to diagnose and treat graduation syndrome:

1), with the help of environment for psychological adjustment.

Pay a little attention, even if you put a bunch of flowers on the podium and put newspapers and magazines in the corner of the classroom, it will make students feel comfortable and warm. In addition, the blackboard newspaper in the classroom is also a landscape, and experienced teachers will not let this "landscape" become a decoration; In addition, it is extremely important for students to establish good interpersonal relationships.

2) Psychological adjustment through study guidance.

Students' learning pressure comes from many aspects, both subjective and objective, but one of the important aspects is the lack of clear learning goals. For such students, to adjust their existing psychology, we must first help them to clarify their learning goals. In addition, the quality of learning methods is also an important aspect that affects academic performance. Due to improper learning methods and unsatisfactory results, students' enthusiasm is greatly dampened by other factors. Timely and scientific guidance of learning methods will make students learn by leaps and bounds, and its effect greatly exceeds that of teachers' well-intentioned ideological education.

3) Psychological adjustment through psychological consultation.

Achievements can only explain the past, not the present, and even less the future. Don't be afraid to learn from Ah Q, give yourself some comfort, and educate students to look forward, pay attention to the results, and pay more attention to the process, harvest and cultivation.

3. Student: Give yourself a good mood.

Lin, who usually works hard, is meticulous before the exam and is fully prepared from morning till night. However, she always makes mistakes in exams, which is far from her usual grades. The reason is that as soon as she entered the examination room, she felt dizzy and sick and broke out in a cold sweat. After the papers were handed out, my mind went blank. What is annoying is that she remembers everything after handing in the paper. According to her class teacher, Xiaolin's parents are both "peasant intellectuals", and they are eager to have a college student at home and regard her as the "key protection object" of the whole family. Since then, she has been burdened with "only success, no failure". After graduating from junior high school, she dropped out of school because of "heart disease".

In fact, the above cases are not uncommon among students, which is a concentrated expression of students' excessive anxiety in exams. Often with the negative experience of past setbacks, and worry about the expected results of the "next" exam. In this regard, Cui Wen newspapers introduced several methods of self-regulation.

1), relax training.

Sit up and close your eyes slightly. Think of a word "loose" in your mind and relax the muscles of the top of your head, forehead, chin, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, waist, abdomen, legs and feet in turn. This is beneficial to the stability of pulse rate and blood pressure, and can increase the temperature of limbs and get a sense of relaxation.

2) Take a deep breath When you are upset, you can temporarily put down your homework, relax your sitting posture, and take a deep breath with your eyes closed slightly for 2-3 minutes. That is, breathe in slowly and exhale slowly when smelling the flowers. People who are afraid of exams can also do this exercise before handing out papers.

3) Have a good sleep. Sleep can not only keep you awake the next day, but also preserve your memory.

4), "active rest". Take an active part in group activities organized by schools or classes, and take an active part in physical exercise.

Psychologically speaking, junior three students are a vulnerable group. From the perspective of learning, the third grade is a critical period, and the two are a pair of contradictions, which shows that the students in the third grade graduating class need more care and guidance. Parents and teachers should work together with Qi Xin to do a good job in students' ideological work, correctly face the "third grade syndrome", turn pressure into motivation, and help students take a key step in graduating from junior high school.