I was doing housework at the weekend, and I heard a conflict between my brother and my brother. It seems that my brother is playing a game, pressing on him. Then he pushed, his head hit the cabinet, and the two men started fighting.

In the past, my way of dealing with it was to yell at me first, "What are you arguing about? Why do you always fight? " Criticize my brother again why he won't let his brother. My brother will cry when he hears criticism, lose his temper and yell at me like a little lion. If I say "it makes sense to hit my brother" again, he will rush into his room, slam the door hard, then hide in the room, throw things into the room and kick tables and chairs. This state will last for a long time. My brother kept crying, but he couldn't help it. The low pressure at home is extremely disturbing. At that time, I had a bad temper, and so did the children.

After studying parent-child communication for a period of time, I deal with the problem in a different way today. Eva's father was at home when the two brothers quarreled. I immediately asked him to separate the two brothers who wrestled together, and Eva's father took his brother to another room. Meanwhile, I told her dad not to blame her brother. I took my clothes in my hand and went to the balcony to dry them. My brother came up to me in a very excited tone and told me that my brother hit me first. He hit me yesterday and today, so I hit back. I just hugged him gently after listening to it, and then said that mom didn't blame you. Why don't you calm down for a few minutes and stabilize your mood before I tell you when mom dries this sheet? I continued to dry the sheets. He added that it was really my brother who hit me first. Then I asked him, do you want me to criticize my brother? Then I'll criticize him after drying. Brother immediately said no, you don't have to criticize him, I also called him back, and we are even. Then he walked away quietly. Seeing that I didn't scold my brother, my brother sobbed for a while and stopped crying. In a few minutes, the two brothers had a good time again, and this contradiction was quietly solved.

In the eyes of adults, two children are in conflict, and the older one should give way to the younger one, so they tend to be biased towards the weak and criticize the older one more. But the older children don't think so. Obviously, fighting is wrong for both of them. Why only criticize him? Do parents only love their younger brothers and sisters but not him? The small contradiction between the two men was intensified by the prejudice of the adults, which aggravated their anger. The younger ones want their parents to help scold their younger brothers and sisters because adults are eccentric at ordinary times, and they cry even harder. Brothers and sisters feel that their parents are unfair, and they escalate their anger towards their brothers and mothers into anger towards their parents, feeling that the whole family is targeting him. Over time, the more children resent their parents, the more the parent-child relationship collapses. Parents should not be the conveyor belt of children's emotional intensification, but should be the umbrella of their hearts. Only when parents are emotionally stable and let children know that their parents will always be his safe backing can children have a healthy emotional channel to calm down and not lose their temper. Parents should always remind themselves that the fundamental purpose of dealing with contradictions is to solve them, not to aggravate them.