For example, if the building blocks are not well built, they will collapse and cry;
If you can't write well, throw a pen and paper and stop writing;
If you don't speak English well, you will lose your temper and feel wronged if you ask TA to repeat it several times. ...
As long as these children encounter a little difficulty in doing things, they have a strong sense of frustration and a strong emotional reaction, and they want to give up.
We all want our children to live a positive life and have perseverance.
But how should such a sunny baby be cultivated?
Oh, my god, I have to mention growth thinking.
Growth thinking is a theory put forward by Dr Carol Dwek of Stanford University.
Dr Carol Dwek and her team spent 65,438+00 years studying the influence of praise on children, and the subjects were 400 fifth-grade students.
First, the researchers asked all the children to complete a very simple puzzle, and then the staff would say a compliment.
Part of what I got was "You are very talented and smart".
The other part is "You must have worked hard, so you did a good job".
Next, the children will have a second round of tests, this time they can choose their own difficulty.
The results show that most children who are difficult to choose are praised for their hard work, while those who are difficult to choose are praised for their intelligence.
Why is this?
Dr. Dwek believes that this is because children have different thinking patterns.
The first group of children showed a fixed mode of thinking, and the whole world was made up of tests to test their abilities.
The second group of children showed a growing mentality. The world is full of interesting challenges to help you learn and grow.
When these two kinds of thinking look at things, the contrast is very obvious:
Look at intelligence
Growth thinking: intelligence can be developed and strengthened.
Rigid thinking: intelligence is innate and cannot be changed.
Look at the effort.
Growth thinking: You can constantly improve yourself through hard work.
Rigid thinking: it takes hard work to show that you are not smart enough.
Look at failures and difficulties.
Growth thinking: failures and difficulties are inevitable. Just face them and learn from them.
Rigid thinking: failures and difficulties will appear incompetent and must be avoided.
It is not difficult to cultivate growth thinking, and scientific praise can actively guide children.
On the whole, praising children's intelligence will not make them better, but will refuse challenges and risks like a group of children who are "smart" in the experiment.
Suddenly one day I failed, and the child would think: It must be because I am not smart that I didn't succeed.
Then, it's no use trying. If something happens, just give it up.
What kind of praise is correct, Professor Dwek mentioned earlier suggested:
If the baby succeeds in one thing, then when praising TA, it must be specific and clear, emphasizing the process rather than the result.
How to boast specifically? American teachers also specially arranged a set of compliments to stimulate children's potential-
1. You have worked hard. You work hard!
You never give up, even in difficult times. It's hard, but you never give up.
You have such a positive attitude. You have a good attitude towards things.
You have really made progress in _ _. You have made great progress in _ _.
What a creative way to solve the problem! This method is really innovative!
6. You cooperate well with your class. You work well with your friends.
7. I like the way you have it! You have handled this matter very well!
8. You are not afraid of challenges! How dare someone say such a thing! Thanks to your (his) words, you are not afraid of difficulties at all. Rare!
9. You have done a good job in helping _ _ to finish his task. It's very kind of you to help _ _ finish his task.
10. You have taken good care of your room/books. You have put your room/books in good order.
1 1. I know I can trust you because _ _. I believe you because of _ _.
12. Your participation today was excellent! You did very well in today's activity.
13. It's great that you value other people's opinions. It is good that you attach great importance to other people's opinions.
I am proud of your choice. I'm glad you made such a choice.
15. Do you remember _ _! Great idea! You remember _ _! Good idea!
When praising children, we can learn from this group of words to make praise more valuable!
In addition to praise, changing the way children speak can also cultivate growth thinking.
Language is the outlet of brain thoughts. When we speak, we just say what we think.
On the other hand, language is also influencing and shaping our thinking mode.
To teach children the positive energy of sunshine, we must teach TAs to change their way of speaking and look at everything in life with growing thinking.
For example, a person telling himself "I can't do it" every day is equivalent to giving himself a psychological hint. Even if his ability is enough, the result in reality is often that he can't do it.
However, the premise of all this is that parents should also live with growing thinking and create a positive family atmosphere, and the baby will naturally be moved.
Bud's mother will never say "do it tomorrow" when she does anything in front of Bud Bud, and Bud's father will never complain about Bud Bud when he encounters something bad.
It is said that children are a mirror of parents, and I hope that what we reflect on Bud is the best.
Sunshine baby is not made in a day, and the change of thinking mode is necessary.
Just like all nurturing games, it is useless to just improve the baby's skills, and parents need to increase their skills.
I hope you can teach a positive and sunny baby after reading the push from your mother today!