But talking parents
Invisible "violence" pushes children farther and farther.
Parents love their children, but often unconsciously beat their children's hearts over and over again with words, which makes them depressed, but they don't know that Zhihu has a problem: "Parents often laugh at you and criticize you, will it lead to children's lack of self-confidence?" The answer to this question is to cherish. "Why do you want to belittle me again and again? Now I even think my home is a horrible place. " Children can't feel the love of their parents, and they can't feel that they are valued, so they deny themselves and doubt themselves.
Well said "is the best education.
Children always believe what their parents say about themselves and turn it into their own ideas.
Therefore, your wanton criticism may ruin a child, but every time you listen carefully and talk well, you can also make an excellent child. Using language to achieve children is the highest education for parents. Talking parents can always guide their children to become emotionally stable, positive, optimistic, confident and successful people.
Saying "yes" starts with saying these five words less.
1. Look at others, and then look at you? Lead by example, of course, but this kind of partiality will only make children hate you more.
I told you a long time ago, but you wouldn't listen, so now you're in the pit.
The original intention is just to let the children remember the losses they have suffered, but in fact it has deepened the contradiction and stimulated the children's rebellious psychology.
I'm not doing it for your own good.
What many parents often say is: I am doing it for your own good. How much have I done for you? How could you do this to me?
You just play all day. What else can you do?
One sentence denies all the efforts of the child. How can a child who can't lift his head in front of his parents study hard and live a good life?
Do whatever you like, I don't care about you.
This sentence seems to be a concession, but it is actually a sentence.
The subtext released by this hidden threat is: I am already like this, you don't listen, go with you and mind your own business.
(of things) left to its own devices
Speak well "Please remember eight words.
I. Observation
When communicating with children, observe attentively and describe the facts we see with our eyes, hear with our ears and touch with our bodies. Make things concrete without any judgment or speculation. For example, a mother can say, "I saw you drop the glass and it broke." Describe the real situation you see to your child in an observational language, avoid the conflict caused by your child's negative emotions to the greatest extent, and let the communication go smoothly.
feeling
Allow yourself and your children to express their feelings.
For example, in the case of a child breaking a cup just now, what is the correct way? 1, first of all, show concern and ensure safety. Ask the child, "You didn't scratch your hand, did you?" "2. Then, calm the children's emotions and express their feelings. "When the glass suddenly broke, you got a fright. Say how the child feels. At the same time, you can also express your feelings. "My mother was shocked, too."
3. Finally, wait for the child's emotional stability before educating the child.
Three. demand
Understand the needs of yourself and your children and clearly express each other's "what do you want?" , "what is not? Adler's behavioral teleology holds that there are certain purposes and needs behind behaviors, and so are children's bad behaviors. Only by understanding the needs behind children's behavior can we find effective ways to guide children to solve problems.
Four. ask
Understand your child's feelings and needs, and finally say what you want. What do you want your children to do?
For example,
"The cup is broken. You and your mother clean it with a broom.
It is better to have specific and operational requirements. The more specific you want to respond, the more likely you are to get an ideal response from your child.