So, now I am thinking: What kind of education is best for children? What kind of children will grow up with "strength" as their father and receive family education?
Is it really good to use the family education method of "beating" and "forcing" if you don't obey?
1. The performance of "forced" family education
1. Parents or one of them has absolute control, and children rarely have the right to say "no"
In the family with "compulsion" as the dominant education mode, the relationship between children and parents is mostly in an unequal state. In many choices, parents occupy an absolute dominant position, and children rarely have the opportunity to express their opinions. This is a typical family feature of "compulsory" education.
Children who don't obey will be beaten.
Most children are born naive, so children are more likely to make mistakes. Many times, children's "disobedience" is a sign of doing something wrong in the eyes of adults, and it is easy to be punished by "beating" in "forced" education families.
"If you are so disobedient again, I will beat you. If you don't hit me, you won't remember long! " Many parents can't help but "hit" their children when they are emotional. For parents who advocate "compulsory" education, "beating children" can be said to be commonplace.
In fact, parents use "compulsory" education for many reasons.
Second, the reasons for "compulsory" education
1. Children's character of "eating hard but not eating soft" leads parents to reluctantly accept "compulsory" education.
In fact, with the scientific and extensive application of contemporary parenting education methods, many parents have realized that the education method of "forcibly educating children" is not the best. However, children's personalities are different, and the educational methods they adapt to are naturally different. If the child belongs to the character of "eat soft rice instead of hard rice", no matter how euphemistically advised by parents, the child will not listen. In desperation, in this case, parents can only use "compulsory" education to guide and supervise their children's growth, which is a unique educational method that conforms to children's characteristics and varies from person to person.
2. Reasons for parents' impatience
Of course, many times, in families that advocate "compulsory" education, parents' own personalities are mostly impatient. Most of these parents don't have much patience to communicate with their children to solve problems. Parents' own personality is the biggest reason for their "forced" education, which is the essential problem of parents.
Three: What impact will parents' "compulsory" education have on their children?
1. "Compulsory" education has an impact on children's personality development. Children who grow up in the "compulsory" education mode will have two extreme personalities: timidity or irritability. Children's "forced" education in their parents' childhood, due to their strong education, weak self-judgment and views on some things, long-term suppression of nature, and even distortion of their hearts, has become timid and cowardly. On the other hand, due to the long-term influence of parents' "forced" education, children's personality will also bring "grumpy" factors, which has a great influence on the cultivation of children's good character.
2. Affect the improvement of children's related ability and independent consciousness.
Most families in the "forced" education mode monopolize children's life and social interaction, and even belong to the educational process of "mastering children's movements with one hand". In fact, this kind of education is not conducive to the improvement of children's ability, but also greatly hinders the establishment of children's independent consciousness.
3. It will adversely affect children's normal social interaction.
Children who live in a "forced" education family for a long time will also affect their social skills because of their parents' violent treatment, and they are prone to social fear and even unwilling to communicate with others. This is extremely unfavorable to the normal expansion of children's social skills.
4. Is "compulsory" education desirable? What is the correct method?
1. Children are prone to defects in personality development. This "forced" education method can easily lead to children's personality defects. After all, a good educational atmosphere and environment can cultivate an excellent child and a child with good personality.
2. Children are prone to psychological problems, which affect the communication and feelings between parents and children.
Parents' "forced" education will guide and educate children, but too violent education will bring great problems to the maintenance of parent-child relationship, and even children will not be close to their parents, which is the disadvantage of "forced" education.
3. Is "compulsory" education desirable?
So to sum up, although "compulsory" education will bring some effective effects to parents in the process of educating children, it will vary from person to person, and not all children are suitable for adopting the method of "compulsory" education. To a certain extent, the influence of "compulsory" education on children's growth is also more harmful than beneficial.
Therefore, although parents' "compulsory" education is based on being good for children, it may not bring benefits to children. In some aspects, it may even bring hidden harm to children, but it is not conducive to their healthy growth. Therefore, parents should think carefully before adopting the method of "compulsory" education.
In the educational concept of the old people, "the dutiful son keeps a stick" seems to be a famous saying. So, in that generation of families, which children did not grow up under violent education? They believe that the use of violence is also the best way of education, and it is a means to realize the dream of "looking for children to become dragons and women to become phoenixes" at an early date.
If the child is disobedient, can parents raise their fists to solve it? This educational idea should have been abandoned a long time ago.
At present, the problem of violence education has also caused great controversy in society. Some parents think that children really "can't fight". Therefore, when children make mistakes or have other problems, criticism and education seem a bit mild, and they can only raise their fists and blindly beat and scold. However, the results are often unsatisfactory. Children educated under this kind of fist will have a great disadvantage in dealing with people and have a great influence on their future.
The concept of "stick education" has long been abandoned, and we have to admit that this kind of education will have these effects on children: after being beaten, children will not only not reflect on their mistakes, but also have rebellious psychology.
Children will make mistakes, which is inevitable in the process of growing up, but children who make mistakes will be beaten and scolded when they come home. I have to say that this kind of violence is really effective on the surface, and children will admit their mistakes when the time comes, but what is the difference between this and coercion?
Parents should rely on reason to convince people that oral approval is actually invalid. Under this violent means, children's resentment will even accumulate in their hearts, and their feelings with their parents will gradually alienate, and they will become more disobedient and even rebellious during the rebellious period.
Under the education of violence, the psychological damage of children is very great.
The child is innocent and mentally immature. At this time, if his parents want to beat and scold him. In his heart, if he doesn't feel the love of his family, his psychology will gradually become more and more distorted and even numb. Although on the surface I may be afraid of such parents and dare not resist loudly, communication with my parents will be hindered if this continues. Under such strong pressure, children will gradually become more and more inferior and cowardly, which should not be the end we want to see.
Educated by violence, they will also use violence.
Children are all blank sheets of paper. After they come to this world, they are educated by their parents and will slowly paint their future on white paper. If parents always treat their children with violence, the white paper also describes violent means. In the minds of young people, they will think that violence is the only way to solve this world problem. Moreover, personality will gradually become more and more violent, so that children will be full of negative energy when they grow up and step into society. Not only do they often complain, but they also like to vent their emotions by violence.
What should parents do in the process of educating their children to avoid these things?
1. Parents should set an example and control their behavior.
Children have strong imitation ability. At this time, parents should set an example. If they want their children to be obedient and become good babies, they must first do their best. Isn't that what you said? Parents are the first teachers of the children. The reason why children have such bad habits is to ask themselves if they have learned from their parents.
2. Learn to communicate with children
Talk to your child well, don't put on airs, and hit people if you don't agree. This kind of behavior must be strictly prohibited. In the process of educating children, we should not only tell them what is right and what is wrong, but also help them build self-confidence and self-esteem.
3. Empathy, experience the child's fear and helplessness.
It is a reality that society must face that parents are strong and children are weak. If we want our education to be effective, we must practice it. Everyone has learned to put themselves in the children's shoes to experience the fear and helplessness of this kind of violent education. When you are violent, you can imagine how painful the children were at that time.
Parents should put aside their own ideas, stand in the children's position, let children see clearly the problem of violence education, and think clearly about some reasons why children do things. Only by understanding the child's psychology can the communication between parents and children be smoother, and the child's usual disobedience problem can be effectively solved.
I hope every parent must realize that it is wrong to educate children about violence. Only by giving children enough respect, awe and understanding can such education be effective and such children have a bright future. Therefore, we should treat education rationally, think more and communicate more, so that children can grow up healthily.