1. The birth of life is beautiful
"Mom, why am I here? This question is probably asked by every child. I am afraid that the answers that our generation got the most when they were young were: picked from the garbage, floated on the river, picked from the tree, and left by others at the door ... This kind of answer can easily undermine children's sense of security and make them feel that they don't belong to this family and can't feel the beauty and solemnity of life.
Ye Er is over two years old, and it happens that I have two treasures. So Ye Er witnessed how my stomach grew bigger day by day, how my brother was born, what he was born like, and how he grew up bit by bit. This experience allowed him to bypass the question "How did I get here?" Because he intuitively saw that the baby was born from the mother's stomach. However, his concern became: "How did we get into your stomach? 」
At that time, he was old and didn't understand the concepts of * * *, egg and fertilized egg, so I didn't explain too much how our material body was formed, but drew a picture through the story.
I told him a story and told him: "Every child will choose his mother in heaven before he is born. When you were an elf, you hid in the clouds and saw me praying to God for a child. You believed that I would be a good mother, so you sat on the rainbow slide and came to my stomach. After ten months of waiting and expectation, the child was born. 」
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Hearing this, Ye Er opened his eyes wide and said, "Ah! I know! So my brother is from the rainbow. He knows that you are a good mother, and he also saw me. He chose me as his brother! 」
Explain the birth of life to children, in line with their age development. For a very young child, a beautiful and warm story will make him feel the sacredness of life. When he knows that he was born in the expectation of his parents, he will cherish and love his life more.
The growth of life is magical.
We can take our children together to understand the growth process of life, or accompany the growth of another life. For example, tell children stories about his childhood, watch photos and videos of his childhood with children, and let him know how he grew up with the love of his parents. If there is Bauer at home, Dabao can participate in Bauer's life and company.
You can also take care of animals and plants with your children, let them plant a seed, and observe the process of the seed taking root and sprouting, spreading leaves and flowering, and finally dying leaves. Bring children into contact with nature and feel the four seasons of spring ploughing, summer harvest, autumn harvest and winter storage. You can also raise some small animals with your children. By observing the growth of small animals, let children perceive the course of life.
Every spring, many schools advise children to raise silkworms. The life cycle of silkworms is very short. As long as children understand the changes of silkworms in various life stages, their tasks will be completed after they become silkworm moths to lay eggs. At this time, children will not be too sad. If it is other pets, such as cats, dogs, goldfish, rabbits, hamsters and so on. Children will naturally learn to respect life in the process of care. If this kind of pet dies unfortunately, we will take it away with the children to help them relax.
Children who grow up in such an atmosphere can personally experience the warmth and touch brought by the growth of life, have strong empathy, and are not prone to bullying, destroying the environment and hurting small animals.
3. Face up to the death of life
As soon as life is born, it must die. This is a problem that everyone, whether children or adults, must face. However, we live in a culture that avoids death, and adults themselves are reluctant to mention death, let alone discuss such topics with children. Besides, we also have various taboo expressions about death, such as "go", "go" and "go", which also makes us feel that death is a difficult thing to say.
Parents are often worried that talking frankly with their children about death will aggravate their fears, so when their children ask questions, they will be secretive, vague or pass by. But it is this attitude that makes children more afraid. They will become more and more afraid and don't know when it will be their turn to their relatives or even themselves. Talking openly with children will not only help them to have a real understanding of death, but also help them to get rid of their grief after losing their loved ones.
The first real death a child faces is usually the death of a relative, such as grandparents. At this time, as parents, they also lost their loved ones at home. Therefore, parents can express their sadness frankly and allow their children to express their emotions and thoughts naturally. You don't have to deliberately suppress and hide to avoid children and pretend to be strong. The way you handle your emotions will set an example for your children. Facing real life with children is the best life education.
At the same time, it should be in line with children's age, cognitive and emotional development stage, and answer their questions sincerely and frankly in an acceptable way, and encourage them to express their feelings and ideas. It is a good opportunity to sweep the grave every year. We mourn and cherish the memory of our ancestors through some ceremonies, live seriously and embrace life with respect and love for the deceased.
Children of different ages have different concerns and understanding abilities, so when talking about death, children are dominant and parents should not cross the line. For example, when Ye Er was three years old, he didn't really understand what life and death were. He cares more about who lives in each grave. At the age of four, I began to ask them how they moved in and whether they could come out. It was not until I was five years old that I began to ask questions about birth, illness and death.
When we face children's problems, we must be honest and correct, and don't prevaricate. Don't comfort children by cheating. False fabrication and prevarication will only confuse them with facts. For example, don't say that relatives are just asleep. Because when you fall asleep, you will wake up. This kind of comfort may keep the child waiting for him to "wake up" and keep asking questions.
If he finally finds himself unable to wake up, he will start to fear that he or his parents will "die" if they fall asleep, so he can't feel at ease. Don't talk about relatives traveling or working. Because no matter how far away, you still have to go home, and children can't accept that their loved ones leave themselves for other things and leave without saying goodbye, which will bring children a sense of abandonment.
Pay attention to the age of the children here. Death brings a sense of abandonment. If a very young child asks, "Mom, will you die?" ? Will I die? At this time, the focus of the child's attention is not whether you will die, but whether you will leave him and whether he can feel safe.
At this time, you should spend more time with your child, listen to his feelings, and let him believe that his parents will always accompany him and watch him grow up, so that you will live happily together for a long time. This is the sense of security that children need in their hearts. As the child grows older, he will gradually understand that death is inevitable, but before death, we can all live a wonderful life.
In this process, we should pay special attention to listening and accompanying children. Use children to express their condolences and memories of their deceased relatives, so that they can learn true love and feel warmth and courage. This is also their strength to mature in the face of loss or frustration in the future. Our listening and companionship can encourage children to express their deepest fears and sorrows. Don't let them face it by preaching. What children need is expression, understanding and support. Only by letting them feel and understand themselves can they learn and grow in this process.
In addition, we can help children understand life and death through games, paintings, handicrafts and picture books.
Picture books about life education include: Grandpa, like Dad, Badger's gift, Xiao Lu pond, Sophie's masterpiece, Dad's scarf, the singing of birds, Grandpa's angel, Grandma upstairs and Grandma downstairs. Happy birthday to you, a leaf falls, grow up to be a good grandfather, and Grandpa becomes a ghost, Tom.
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If we want to talk openly about this topic with our children, we should also ask ourselves first, what is your attitude towards death? Can you face your child's questions calmly? There will still be anxiety and fear, so children who see the same emotions will be more nervous and at a loss? Children never listen to the truth, but feel their parents' attitude directly. If parents can face it calmly, children will become inner stability.
Life education runs through life, and eventually it will return to ourselves. How do we view life, how to live every day well, and how to face separation and death. These attitudes towards life will be passed on to our children. May you and I live up to every day.