We have seen a lot of news similar to the above. Usually, families have educational differences. What consequences will educational differences bring to children? Let's discuss it together through the following cases.
Min Min's mother shared: I don't agree with my husband about his son going shopping in the supermarket. Since childhood, I have stipulated that my son can only buy one thing at a time when he goes to the supermarket, so his son only chooses one thing at a time and goes home. But Mr. Wang asked his son to buy it. Every time I go to the supermarket, my son will buy a big bag of snacks to go home. It's really irritating In addition, when I teach my children not to do that, my husband always says, "Nothing, he is a child after all!" " "Slowly, he is a person in front of my husband and another person in front of me.
Mom's comment: Children have different behaviors in front of different people. This is the so-called two-faced, which is caused by the inconsistency of parents' educational concepts. If when parents educate their children, one plays the bad COP and the other plays the bad COP, and the children will rely on and be close to those who defend themselves out of self-protection, and they will be more willful in front of those who defend themselves, which will bury hidden dangers for their growth and marriage.
Wen Wen's mother shared: When my son was one year old, I went to work in the company and gave him to my grandparents. Every time I educate him, his grandparents will be anxious with me, saying that he is just a child. Why are you so mean to him? After a long time, my son became very close to his grandparents. As soon as I taught him a lesson, he immediately ran to his grandparents for asylum. I was really anxious and angry!
In our traditional culture, parents should give their children a sense of prestige and admiration in order to gain their trust. If parents are partial to their children when educating them, or even speak ill of their parents, it will reduce their prestige in their children's hearts, thus affecting the effect of education. In this case, even if grandparents have different views, they should wait for their parents to educate their children before communicating with them privately.
Juanjuan's mother shared: I refuse to show my son TV, especially in the morning. Because I'm worried that when he gets used to it, it will affect the kindergarten. But Mr. Wang doesn't care about this. In order to sleep a little longer, he throws his son in front of the TV every morning when I cook. Gradually formed a habit. Every morning, the first thing my son opens is to say, "Dad, I want to watch cartoons." I have been telling him about the disadvantages of watching cartoons in the morning, but when my husband asked him if he could watch cartoons in the morning, he still said, "Yes!" "I'm so angry!
Mom's comment: If parents hold different attitudes towards the same thing their children do, the children may not know who is right and who should listen to whom, which will easily make the children feel at a loss and let them not pay attention to their mistakes, thus affecting the formation of their views on right and wrong. Therefore, parents have different views, but they still have to unify their positions in front of their children.
My son is two and a half years old and always beats other children. When he hit the child, I held his hand at the right time and said to him, "You want to shake hands with the child, don't you?" Then, hold his hand and shake hands with the children. With my efforts, he finally stopped hitting the child. But regardless of Mr. Wang, he kept teasing him and said, "Hit your mother, hit your mother, and I'll give you something delicious." After several teasing by Mr. Wang, the son began to hit the child again. I'm really worried!
Mom's comment: children's self-control ability needs to be cultivated from an early age and needs the help of parents. For example, if the mother says that the child has hit someone, if the parents tell him that hitting someone is wrong, then he will know that he has done something wrong and will adjust his behavior.
When a child corrects his wrong behavior, it shows that the child's self-control has developed. On the contrary, if one of the parents says that they can't fight and the other teases the child to fight, then the child won't know who to listen to, and it will be difficult to develop.
Since everyone in the family loves children, everyone will make changes for them. Therefore, when educating children, family members should try to unify their educational concepts.
Even if someone has an objection, don't say it in front of the children, but communicate privately, unify the educational concept, raise the children together, and try to create a good family atmosphere for the children.
I have seen such a scene in kindergarten. My father is strict and uncompromising, and my mother is gentle. She has never lost her temper with her children and likes to indulge them.
However, the child has many problems.
He is a very clever and sensible child in front of his father. Every time the father asks, the child can do it independently, even if he doesn't want to, he doesn't dare to have any emotions.
In front of her mother, the child is stubborn, and her mother ignores everything she says. Sometimes she even loses her temper and kicks her mother.
Therefore, whether a child is sensible and obedient depends on whether his father is here or not. He is a good boy when his father is around, and he is what people call Xiong Haizi when his mother is away.
There is a "watch law" in psychology, which says that when a person only wears a watch, he can know what time it is, while when he carries two or more watches, he can't know the exact time, and at the same time he loses the information to grasp the exact time.
There is only one voice in charge of children.
If when educating children, one plays the bad COP and the other plays the bad COP, and parents don't agree, children will have no backbone, don't know who to listen to, and even think that parents don't love themselves.
In the family, the "weak" party will be looked down upon by children more and more, because every time the opinions are not respected, the children will directly find the party that can dominate everything in the future, and gradually what the other party says will have no prestige and will not be binding.
Only when husband and wife are United can we educate good children.
Once upon a time, there was a leader who and his wife agreed on the issue of educating their children. He always stands by his wife when she educates her children.
For example, if a child wants to buy a toy, he will ask his father for help, and his father will ask, "What did mom say?"
When the child says "Mom doesn't agree", the father will tell the child that he doesn't agree either.
Huang Lei once said in an interview that there is no such thing as a white face and a red face at home, and he often told his daughter that he and his wife will always be the same.
On the issue of educating children, only when parents stand on the same line can children trust their parents more and implement the rules more effectively, and children will gradually form a mature view of right and wrong.
Although it is inevitable that parents disagree in family education, at least they can't argue in front of their children. They can discuss it in private first, come up with countermeasures, and then communicate well with their children. Parents' opinions are unified, and children's hearts can be more firm.
Otherwise, it will only make children feel at a loss and at a loss. He will think that someone is protecting me anyway, and it doesn't matter if I do something wrong.
Moreover, children are sensitive and smart. He will observe words and deeds, do what he likes, know when to find someone to solve the problem, what to be lazy about, and even know how to avoid being scolded.
After a long time, children will behave well in front of one person, but they will be overbearing and overbearing in front of another person, which is very unfavorable for their growth.
Only when husband and wife unite and agree can we educate excellent children.
Are you and your partner on the same side in educating your children? Do you listen to your mother or your father? Please leave a message in the comments ~