Li Meijin, a professor at the Public Security University, gave a speech at the "round table", which just explained this view.
She said: "In the process of people's growth, we must form something, besides love, we must have awe. If a child breaks the law, punishment is actually a kind of protection, letting him know that he is afraid and that he regrets it and never dares again. To protect him, if he really dares. "
The implication is to emphasize that children should know fear and know that rules cannot be violated. If a child makes a mistake, only punishment can sober him up. As educators, we can't tolerate it.
This is not the first time that Professor Li Meijin has emphasized awe. In her previous analysis of juvenile delinquency, she also mentioned many times that people commit crimes because they have nothing to fear.
Fiona Fang can't live without rules. Without fear, there will be disaster.
So do we educate our children. We should make them know how to respect and obey the rules. Only in this way can children really grow up.
The greatest sorrow of parents,
Is to give everything and raise a baiwenhang.
I saw a news two days ago: the child was addicted to online games and recharged 40 thousand yuan, but this money was earned by his mother who worked hard to carry 40 thousand bags of cement!
The child also deleted all the transfer records, fearing that the parents would find out that they were being scolded.
This shows that he clearly knows that this is fucking hard-earned money, but he still doesn't care. He not only recharged more than 20,000 yuan in his game account, but also recharged 1 10,000 yuan to his classmates.
His mother cried in despair. At the same time, when the child was beaten, he said aggrieved, "You always blame me and never look for reasons on yourself."
Yes, my mother is busy making money to support her family outside every day. She worked hard to move tens of thousands of pieces of cement to earn some money, but the children only watched her mother ignore him and not accompany him. She only saw that she was accused by complaints when she made a mistake.
It's not easy for anyone in this world, but the saddest thing is that my parents gave everything to raise a baiwenhang.
You think you have worked hard to earn money to support your family, and you have done your best to feed and dress your children.
You think that giving your child everything he wants and loving him obediently will make him more sensible and suffer less when he grows up.
As everyone knows, parents' selflessness may cultivate a Xiong Haizi, and parents' spoil may gradually brew into a sad life.
In recent years, such news is not rare.
A few days ago, Xiong Haizi kicked his mother on Wuhan Metro Line 2 in Hubei. The girl kicked her mother and the suitcase many times, just because her mother took the wrong bus.
A 10-year-old boy beat his mother at home and died with one punch. His mother showed no signs of resistance.
In a crowded square, a child grabbed his mother's throat in the street and asked her to kneel down just because her mother refused to buy toys for her child.
It is a sin to be born without raising, not to raise infertility, and not to raise it.
Excellent children are managed,
Xiong Haizi is used to it.
There is a saying in the courage of discipline:
Many times, we hate Xiong Haizi for not turning iron into steel, but what is even more hateful is that Xiong's parents are not strict with their children since childhood.
In Xi 'an, two Xiong Haizi threw bricks from a tall building to the bottom. Fortunately, they didn't hurt anyone. After the security guards arrested people, the parents of the children said, "I didn't hit anyone again, which frightened the children."
Last year's graduation season, a landmark of graduation work just built by an engineering college graduate was demolished by a Xiong Haizi, and the parents of the children responded: "Circle it, the children are not sensible."
"Children are not sensible", "No one is injured" and "How can they care about children" ... This is how the gap between Xiong's parents and excellent parents is opened.
Many parents don't realize that strict management is love and indulgence is harm.
Li Meijin, an education expert, said:
Parents are children's first teachers, and "teachers" are not responsible for discipline. What qualifications do they have to expect their children to succeed and women to succeed?
Excellent children are managed, and Xiong Haizi is used to it.
Liang Qichao, a modern thinker in China, lied to his mother about a trivial matter at the age of six.
He thinks it's no big deal, because his mother is always gentle and kind, and all her neighbors know it.
But that night, Liang Qichao saw his mother's anger for the first time.
He was afraid to cover up his mistake, but his mother was more angry. She hit Liang Qichao dozens of times before she stopped, and set a family rule of "no lying" for him.
It was not until Liang Qichao grew up that his mother solemnly explained to him why he could not lie.
If a child is too young to be sensible, he should beat and scold, as long as this is not allowed to become the normal state of his life; If a child doesn't like listening to reason, it is necessary to make rules for him, clarify what behaviors should be rewarded and punished, and let him know what to do and what not to do.
On the way to education, parents should be cruel, and the sooner they start to correct their children's bad habits, the more they can grow up smoothly.
Education must be punished,
If you don't teach your children, society will give you a good education.
The British Parliament passed a law to the effect that "teachers are allowed to take necessary measures, including physical contact, to force undisciplined students to observe discipline if advice fails".
To put it bluntly, it is to allow teachers to carry out a certain degree of corporal punishment when children are repeatedly educated.
But in fact, it is not teachers but parents who should fulfill this obligation most.
Some people may say that beating and cursing are not respected now, and children are already tired of learning. If he is put under more pressure, he can't bear it, or happy education pays more attention to quality.
Unfortunately, how many families are really successful in implementing happy education? And those children who really grew up in a happy educational environment are really not punished for making mistakes? Have you ever been under pressure in your studies?
Professor Qian Wenzhong of Fudan University once gave a speech, and he said:
Education must be punished. If the child does something wrong, the parents will scold him a few words, and he will make the child realize the seriousness of the problem and never make it again.
It's impossible. Don't expect children's self-awareness, and don't expect you to tell them a few simple truths. If education were so simple, there would not be so many children from families going astray.
In the final analysis, parents still have to take responsibility for discipline. If you shouldn't steal, don't steal, temper justice with mercy, so that children won't develop a demon that everyone hates.
In the sixth season of The Story of Chipa, there was a topic of debate: when I met Xiong Haizi in public, my parents were indifferent. Should I educate them?
Player Pinkley said:
If you don't teach your children well, society will give you a good education. By then, it will be too late to regret it.
"Four Don 'ts" and "Four Essentials" in Disciplining Children
Four no-
Many parents will take it out on innocent children when they come home after a hard day's work. It's just a trivial matter, and the child has done nothing wrong. Just guide him well, but they will lose their temper and make the child feel wronged and afraid.
With more times like this, children will gradually understand that their parents' behavior is wrong, and they will use it to refute and criticize their parents in the next education, and their affinity and dignity will be greatly reduced.
Children can't grow up healthily as long as they provide food, clothing, housing and transportation, and parents can't grow up with nothing to do as long as they earn money to support their families.
Being lazy in education will lose your child's life. You know, he could have lived a better life.
There is a saying, two sayings, how much punishment a child will get if he makes a mistake.
Not every mistake is a big mistake, and not every mistake needs to be beaten and scolded. We should have different educational methods for different problems. Don't abuse and beat children with the majesty of parents. This is not discipline, but domestic violence.
If you satisfy your child without restraint, your child's demands will only increase. Blindly doting will eventually lead to disaster.
Selectively meet the reasonable needs of children, and reject the unreasonable demands of children in principle. Only in this way can children learn to control their desires properly.
Don't give in to children easily.
Four elements-
As the saying goes, Fiona Fang can't be made without rules.
The sooner you make rules for your child, the sooner he will know what is right, what is wrong, what can and can't be done, and he will have a basic understanding of right and wrong.
It is best to put the rules into paper documents and strictly follow the rules to execute rewards and punishments, so that children will gradually understand what is the bottom line of communication with others.
Adults can't consciously study and work, how can they expect children's consciousness?
Try to spare time to accompany and supervise your child's study every day until the child develops a good habit of self-discipline.
Discipline should be instructive, not just punishing and controlling children.
The best education is to set an example. Parents are here, why worry about children becoming "bears"?
There are no perfect parents, no perfect children and no perfect education in this world.
Only by doing our best within our power can we let our children know their parents' good intentions and the basic principles of being born human.