Hello, I'm Lu Qin.

My name may not be familiar to you, it doesn't matter. Speaking of the name "bosom sister", you must be familiar with it.

▲ Share the "Parenting Classics of Intimate Sisters" on the China. com。

The reason why I am called "Intimate Sister" by 20 million parents and children is because I am the host of "Intimate Sister" of China Youth Daily.

At that time, the maximum circulation of China Youth Daily was11.2000, and I received numerous letters of help from parents and children every day.

▲ You can see the mailbox of "Intimate Sister" all over the country.

"Letters for help" came from all over the country. It is no exaggeration to say that I have basically seen all kinds of parenting problems that parents in China have to face:

Children are playful and addicted to games, and their eyesight and academic performance are getting worse every day;

The child has a big temper, and if he doesn't agree with a word, he gets angry and throws things;

Children are shy and introverted, do not like to talk or shout, and even it is difficult to go downstairs;

Children are disobedient and unruly, and they have not caused less trouble at school. Not only teachers, but also they have a headache.

Children are afraid of difficulties, retreat when they encounter problems in their study and life, and love to find excuses to escape;

……

I found that whenever children have these problems, parents always like to say that their children have "personality problems".

I have been educated for 37 years, and I am very opposed to the above statement:

"There is no good or bad personality. It is something that is difficult to change when a child is born. If it is really a personality problem, isn't that child' hopeless'? "

In fact, these problems of children are ultimately due to low "emotional intelligence".

The "EQ" here is not only what we think of as "being very good at dealing with people", but also refers to "the IQ of managing one's emotions".

Why is EQ so important? A psychology professor at Harvard University once pointed out that a person's success depends on IQ of 20% and EQ of 80%!

▲ The secret of Ma Yun's success is actually "high emotional intelligence"

In fact, people's behavior is mostly controlled by emotions. If "emotional intelligence" is not high, children's behavior will be "out of control":

Children love to play and indulge in games because they can't manage their own expectations, which leads to the emotion of "happiness";

Children have a big temper because they don't know how to control "anger" reasonably;

Children are shy and introverted because they project "fear" to strangers;

……

Therefore, many people's so-called "children have personality problems" are obviously looking for excuses.

You should know that the age of 3 to 12 is the period of rapid brain development of children. At this time, children's perception of the outside world is very strong.

Because they don't have much judgment, 98% of their EQ system depends on their parents.

Therefore, children's "low emotional intelligence" can actually find the source from their parents.

▲ I am being interviewed by CCTV.

For the simplest example, I once received a letter from a little boy, saying that when he was doing his homework, he saw that his father had just come back from work and his mother was cooking, so he went to pour tea for his father.

I thought my parents would praise him for being sensible, but my mother said, "Don't be lazy in pouring tea, go to school!" " Get a 100% test, and everything is strong! "

What the boy said in the letter made my heart ache: Sister Lu Qin, is it a mistake to care about mom and dad? Now I feel distressed when I think of my parents!

Is such a sentence, is likely to make children grow into a cold, selfish person, so, for the emotional intelligence education of children, any parents in China, can't afford not to pay attention to it!

However, it is a pity that the biggest defect of Chinese education now is that "IQ is more important than EQ", which is something that schools can't learn, and EQ education is far from being as simple as signing up for a training class and hiring a tutor.

Therefore, parents are the best teachers for children's EQ education. Don't complicate EQ education. I am Lu Qin, my bosom sister, and I have "eight words" and "two sentences" for you. You will find that you can also cultivate emotional intelligence!

Emotional intelligence training is really not difficult.

Sometimes it is as simple as eight words or two sentences.

Whether your family is a "prince" or a "princess", please remember these eight words: enjoy your son and appreciate your daughter.

These eight words look mysterious, but they are actually two sentences.

Take myself as an example. When I was cooking, my son came to me as soon as he came home from school. He grabbed my hand and stuffed something into it.

When I opened it, it turned out to be a small paper crane, although it had already been soaked in sweat.

But looking at my son's expectant eyes, I know it must have cost him a lot of thought.

At this time, what would you do if it were you?

Criticism and accusation are definitely wrong, but even praise children should be mastered.

Many parents boast that their children are "great!" In fact, this is a wrong way to praise.

The research of Stanford University, which ranks second in the world, shows that directly praising children will make them very proud.

On the other hand, children who are positively praised are more difficult to bear criticism.

When you criticize them, they may think, "Didn't mom and dad say I was' great' before? Why are you criticizing me? Mom and dad are not trustworthy. "

▲ The authoritative research of the second university in the world.

Therefore, at that time, I didn't praise my children directly, but said, "It's different to have a man!"

You see, this sentence did not praise the child positively, but the child's behavior still got positive feedback:

"Man" symbolizes courage, responsibility and responsibility in the eyes of boys. If you praise your son as a "man", he will treat himself as a "man".

Since then, my son has always brought me many unexpected surprises.

Of course, this did not delay his study. Now he is studying in a famous university in America.

▲ My son and I participated in international activities together.

You see, I have no positive criticism or positive praise. The only thing I did was "enjoy the help my son gave me".

Love is two-way, not only let yourself love your children, but also learn to let your children love you!

Treating a daughter is also a word of kung fu: "How nice the little princess is!" Appreciating your daughter's advantages can make her the focus of attention in the future.

In fact, what I have done in these 37 years is to teach these simple EQ training skills to the 654.38+07 million parents in China.

After receiving my advice, many parents wrote me thank-you letters. Because of my contribution to child care, I was also named one of the top ten "Excellent Citizens for Protecting Minors in China" and one of the top ten "National Excellent Child Workers". ...

▲ Zheng, the king of fairy tales, and I were named "Top Ten Educators in China".

I also wrote 10 book based on my own experience in cultivating emotional intelligence.

Among them, Writing to Young Mom, Being a Man and Doing Things won five One Project Awards, and Writing to Century Parents won the China Book Award.

The problem of children's emotional intelligence will only be more difficult to improve. EQ education is really not as difficult as you think. Change the way of speaking and train children to be obedient, sensible, worry-free and have high emotional intelligence.

I'm Shen Yi Dianma, and welcome to "Shen Yi Dianma Parent-child Circle". Let's take our children to develop reading habits from childhood and make Excellence a habit! If you think it's helpful, share it with you and your children's friends!