The author thinks that it is unnecessary to beat and scold, but it must be done when there is no other choice, and it cannot be used as a routine means of parenting. Because if beating and scolding children becomes a routine means of parenting, it will cause very serious physical and psychological harm to children.
Looking back on my growing experience, I will support this view with both hands and feet. Because, I am the child who has been neglected since childhood and often beaten and scolded by my father.
In the second grade of primary school, my father would kick me to the point where I didn't cry because I couldn't write well.
From then on, I saw my father just like a mouse saw a cat.
In junior high school, when I love beauty and want to wear skirts in adolescence, my father will humiliate me loudly with the most vicious words and ask me if I want to be a prostitute.
I haven't called my father for two years since then.
In high school, my father made me hungry for two days because I complained about eating leftover soup for two days in a row. Finally, my classmates couldn't stand it, so they bought me two bags of crispy noodles to satisfy their hunger. For me who have no pocket money to buy snacks, this crispy noodles is not only delicious, but also makes me feel a kind of care that I have never had before. In order to remember the kindness of that classmate, the packaging of those two crispy noodles was treasured by me for several years.
From then on, I even ignored my father's existence!
There are many similar things. Father's verbal violence and physical violence caused great harm to everyone in the family.
Mom became depressed and died of cancer at the age of 56.
My sister is almost forty years old and hasn't got married yet.
I am invincible, loveless and inferior. A little kindness from others will make me pay wholeheartedly. This also made me encounter a group of love rat, and my love life was extremely bumpy.
My brother almost divorced because of his father's family discord!
The saddest thing is that my husband and I didn't realize that there were problems at home until we got married, and so did my father.
I didn't know what my parents should be like until I married him. Never violent abuse, kind and gentle. It was also after my marriage that I completed my psychological reconstruction, perfected my flawed personality, and made a painful separation from family of origin.
When I first got married, I told my husband that when we had children, I would never beat her and humiliate her. Now I have two angel babies. The eldest daughter is five and a half years old and quite naughty, and the second daughter is one and a half years old and charming and lovely.
During my five and a half years as a mother, I fulfilled my promise and became a gentle but strict mother, never beating or scolding my children. I will learn the correct parenting experience from all kinds of parenting books and learn from my own experience!
As the saying goes, the gentlest and gentlest upbringing is the deepest and wisest love for children!
Parenting is a long and difficult road, so learn!