Ways to teach children to be responsible.
Teach children to do their own thing.
Why do children lose their temper easily nowadays? Because parents have done too much for them. The more parents help their children, the less grateful they may be. Because they will take it for granted that their parents are paying for themselves and others are not doing well, his temper will come at once.
The sense of responsibility must be cultivated from an early age. When children begin to develop their sense of independence and self-awareness, it is the best time for parents to cultivate their sense of responsibility. To cultivate children's sense of responsibility, we need to cultivate children's ability to do things independently.
Parents should remember a principle: as long as children can do it by themselves, parents should stop helping. From washing hands, putting on socks, putting away toys, until the children decide which middle school to go to, what cram school to enroll in the summer vacation, and what major to enroll in the university? Parents should gradually let go, let their children learn to be responsible for themselves and be managers of their own lives, emotions, time and space. When children encounter difficulties, parents can give guidance and suggestions, but they can't replace them. Try to respect their independent will.
Encourage children to participate in housework.
Real education comes from life, and doing housework is one of the best education for children. Parents asking their children to help with housework is the first step to cultivate their children's sense of family responsibility.
Willant, a psychologist at Harvard University in the United States, has been tracking and studying a group of teenagers for decades. He found that people who participated more in housework in childhood performed better in interpersonal relationships than those who participated less in housework. They are four times more likely to get a high-paying job opportunity than others, and the possibility of unemployment is 15 times that of others. In addition, the former is optimistic and full, and the latter is more likely to commit crimes than the former.
In the past, whenever the printer at home broke down and I needed to collect English materials or had to print my boarding pass before going on a business trip, I would call my daughter for help. Whenever new furniture is added to the house, my husband will ask his son Pingping to help him assemble it, because he has been doing these things since he was a child. When Pingping is about 16 years old, when he buys new furniture at home, he can complete the assembly while reading the instructions. When children participate in family affairs, they will feel that they have contributed to the family, and they will have a sense of belonging and centripetal force.
However, children are children after all, and their will and thinking can't reach the level of adults, so some things are difficult to do well. A mother complained to me: let the children do it? She does 10 minutes, and I need 20 minutes to clean up her mess. ? Indeed, the children have been hot for three minutes. Just now they were confident that they could finish it. After a while, they got bored and went to play something else.
Responsibility is cultivated bit by bit. Parents should be patient with their children and pay attention to methods. Let the child do something, not just leave it alone after parents tell him, but provide specific guidance to ensure that what the child does is within his ability, and gradually let the child explore and master skills, thus reducing? Anticlimactic? 、? The more you help, the more busy you are? Situation.
For example, parents can let their children go first? Adoption? One can do housework, wash dishes, clean the room, take out the garbage and water the flowers. Parents decided? System? After that, it must be strictly implemented with clear rewards and punishments. When a child wants to shirk or retreat, parents should stand firm and let the child know that he is responsible for what he has done. Your own? Kingdom? You have to manage it yourself. In this way, they won't think that putting the used things back is to reduce their burden, because it will be convenient to find them next time. If the child fails to fulfill his duties, parents should decide in advance? System? Punish children, such as deducting pocket money. Children may not be used to this at first, but as long as they persist, the habit will gradually develop. Once the habit becomes natural, the child's sense of responsibility is internalized in his heart.
For better or worse, acknowledge the achievements of children's efforts.
In the process of children's participation in housework, parents should admit that this is the result of their efforts, no matter whether the children do well or not. Although the real situation is that the more children help, the busier they are: washing a bowl, the water is under the table; Mop the floor, like to write big characters on the ground? However, parents should still affirm their children's contribution, appreciate their children's contribution to the family and make them feel happy? Thanks to my help? Happy feeling.
If one day, your child takes the initiative to ask for a dish, even if it's not delicious, as a parent, you should show that you enjoy it. This is not hypocrisy, but an encouragement and affirmation for children. You might as well say: this dish tastes really good. It would be better if you put less salt. ? After listening to you, children will seriously think about how to improve next time. But if you say: How can I eat so salty? ? Children are likely to lose interest in trying. Remember, parents must let their children have it in their hearts? Do it again? Only in this way can children's sense of responsibility be continuously consolidated.
Let the children bear it themselves? Consequences?
If the child is wrong or imperfect, no matter how young, parents should let the child take responsibility and let the child learn to bear the consequences. For example, if a child forgets to bring his textbook to school, parents should not rush to help him send it to school, but let him experience the consequences of his mistakes. When a child accidentally breaks a neighbor's glass and a neighbor's flowerpot, the parents must pay compensation, but the money is paid by the parents, and the child does not pay for the mistake.
The correct way is that parents need to discuss a mutually agreed plan with their children, or the children agree to take less pocket money every month, or take on more housework (such as brushing the toilet for a month). Why are you doing this? Because, if every time parents give money to help their children solve the problem, but they don't ask their children to be responsible, the children will think like this: Anyway, parents will help me solve it, and it doesn't matter if I do something wrong. With this attitude, children will certainly continue to make the same mistakes and it is difficult to establish a sense of responsibility.
Once the child faces punishment, parents should encourage the child to accept and face it calmly, and don't escape or lie because of fear of punishment. It takes courage for children to take responsibility, and courage comes from children's trust in their parents. Some parents think that children are still young, so they don't need to be responsible for making mistakes, and they don't need to help them clean up. They seem to love children so much, but in fact they put the responsibility of children on themselves, so that children can't learn from their mistakes. When such children grow up, they will habitually shirk their responsibilities and make excuses for themselves, which is difficult for others to welcome.
Advice on educating children to be responsible.
1, and create a good humanistic environment.
In the one-day activities in kindergarten, we should try our best to create a relaxed and harmonious relationship between teachers and students. For example, make friends with children sincerely; Communicate with children in a tone of consultation and discussion; Bend down and talk to the child; Respect every child; Be good at listening to children's voices; Encourage children's activities through inspiration and induction; Believe in their ability; Don't criticize and blame children. With this mentality and concept, children will gradually form good habits such as self-esteem, self-confidence, democracy and harmony. On this basis, try to make children aware of the meaning of their lives. His behavior can influence others, making them feel that they belong to others, unique, important to parents, important to partners and important to teachers, thus generating a sense of pride and responsibility, that is, making children feel a sense of responsibility to their parents, partners and teachers around them.
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2. Give children the opportunity to take responsibility.
In educational activities, we should consciously look for opportunities for children to play a meaningful role, let children feel the importance of their actions to others, and at the same time cultivate their confidence in overcoming their own weaknesses and increasing their various abilities. For example, let the children take turns to be teachers' assistants, and arrange 1-2 people to do things within their power every day, such as distributing toys, collecting works, arranging or cleaning the activity venue, watering flowers and plants, changing water for fish tanks, setting tables, chairs and so on. For example, in the middle class, children begin to learn to take off their coats and fold them neatly, keep the environment clean, organize their schoolbags, exercise their abilities and cultivate their sense of responsibility. Children are willing to participate in these activities and will be proud of their growing ability. Of course, before doing something, the teacher should first teach the children specific ways to do things, explain the matters needing attention, and then let them do it. When children are doing things, teachers should encourage them in time and praise their good performance in time. The children are very enthusiastic, and we should trust their ability. Facts have proved that children are naturally confident and can be competent in many cases. For example, through role-playing in games and stories, we let children gradually understand that in this world, on the one hand, we should enjoy the care, education and help of others, on the other hand, we should bear many responsibilities to others and society. A person who fails to fulfill his social responsibilities is a person who is not beneficial to mankind, while a person who knows nothing and can do nothing is unpopular. Children should be encouraged to integrate into the collective from an early age, have a sense of ownership and collective concept, and do their due duties as a member of the collective. That is, let children see the meaning of their own lives and see that their actions can have an impact on others, thus giving birth to a sense of pride and responsibility.
3. Understand the child's performance at home and let the family take responsibility.
Education emphasizes the consistency of educators' educational goals. Only when kindergartens and families join hands to realize co-education in their homes can pre-school education be better. In some developed countries, parents generally attach importance to cultivating children's self-care ability and hard-working spirit from an early age, which is not only to cultivate children's labor ability, but also to cultivate children's sense of social responsibility and to exercise their will. In our situation, most of the children are only children, and the living conditions at home are superior. Many children are self-sufficient, selfish, willful, lazy and incompetent, just like flowers in a greenhouse, they can't stand a little wind and rain, let alone take care of themselves and stand on their own feet, and they don't know what a sense of responsibility is. In fact, children have no sense of responsibility, mainly because parents care too much for their children and deprive them of the opportunity to take responsibility. So we educate our children to do their own things at home, such as getting up, washing, eating and undressing themselves, and ask parents to cooperate with teachers. Educate parents to have confidence in their children, be patient and not be afraid? Bitter child? Be sure to give children more opportunities to exercise, and never replace everything. More and more parents make it clear that it is very important for children to develop good living habits. Letting children learn to do their own things can cultivate their comprehensive qualities such as self-confidence, viability and responsibility, which is conducive to their healthy physical and mental growth. In this way, in the cultivation of children's sense of responsibility, the main battlefield of the family has also assumed its own responsibilities.
To sum up, self-care and role-based service are the main ways to cultivate children's basic sense of responsibility. Only when children can be responsible for everything they care about can they be further asked to be responsible for other things. Let children learn to do things, assign them some things consciously at ordinary times, teach them to do it seriously, and let them form the necessary sense of responsibility bit by bit from beginning to end. The sense of responsibility should be cultivated from an early age, and parents and kindergarten teachers must not be indifferent. Whether a child has a sense of responsibility plays a decisive role not only for himself, his family and even the future society. Today's children are masters of tomorrow's world. Children are strong, and the country is strong. Only when we, as teachers and elders, trust our children and exercise them, will our children become meaningful and responsible people to society, and our tomorrow will be better.
Teach children the law of responsibility.
The sense of responsibility is cultivated.
The sense of responsibility is cultivated. There is such a passage in the book "Love and Logic in Youth Education"? A sense of responsibility that can't be raised? The author wrote in it:? The sense of responsibility cannot be transmitted to teenagers through parents' preaching, threats or intimidation. Along with the sense of responsibility comes a sense of self-esteem, both of which are formed imperceptibly and are the qualities cultivated by children through their own abilities. Parents must give their children a chance to decide their own behavior, even if they make mistakes. ? In short, parents should create opportunities for their children to develop their sense of responsibility independently.
Leave some space for the children.
Leave some space for the children. I have met many parents of teenagers. The room is always in a mess, which annoys parents. ? There are so many things on the floor that they are knee-high. My parents told me, The plates and cups I ate and drank a few weeks ago are still there. Should I stick to my principles? Why not turn a blind eye? After all, it's at my house. ?
That's right, since it's in your home, we should stick to the principle and let the children clean the room. In other words, there must be a bottom line in everything, but leave room for children. If the child goes to high school, is the cheerleader of the school, has just finished training at school, and has to do homework for three hours at home, but her parents say to her? Clean the room, now? This is a little too much.
In our opinion, the more effective way is to let the children clean the room once a week, stick to it and link it with an activity. For example, parents can stipulate that only after cleaning the room can they go out to play on Friday night. ?
Appropriate punishment.
Appropriate punishment. If the children don't clean the room, they can't go out on Friday night. We met some teenagers who made an appointment with the center, but they forgot. Although their parents asked them to make up for it later, they had to pay half or even all of the tuition fees themselves. This is an irresponsible consequence, and parents should make their children accept similar punishment.
Give children the right to speak.
Give children the right to speak. When parents explain housework to their children, they can let them choose first, so that younger children will feel preferential treatment, while adolescent children will feel that adults respect them.
If parents want the whole family to go out for voluntary service, they can also let teenagers choose where to go. Generally speaking, children are ashamed to express themselves throughout adolescence, fearing that they will become early birds because of speaking, so parents must create opportunities for their children to have the freedom to speak and reflect their own values.
Cultivate a sense of responsibility outside the family.
Cultivate a sense of responsibility outside the family. Teenagers, whether boys or girls, need to prove their sense of responsibility on some occasion outside the family. The way can be a fixed post, being a nanny, being a club leader or volunteering once a week.
Parents can let their children choose their place freely, but they must urge them to do it persistently. Whether you are working or volunteering, you can enhance your child's sense of responsibility and self-confidence.
The number of responsibilities increases with the age of children. 17-year-old girls can wash their own clothes completely. If they can't, they should start studying. After graduation, one year later, you go to college, so you have to do it yourself. Adolescent children must learn to arrange schedules, manage money and take care of themselves as they grow older. Parents should flexibly increase the number of responsibilities for their children at this stage.
Link responsibility with reward.
Link responsibility with reward. Teenagers are growing up day by day, so their rights should be gradually increased, provided that they are entitled to these rights. For example, children aged 17 can go to bed later than children aged 14, if they are more sensible.
If a child behaves rationally and responsibly, it shows that he is trustworthy and parents can give them more trust. As we said above, the more parents trust their children, the more trustworthy they will be, because they are eager for the opportunity to prove their sense of responsibility.
The most important thing to cultivate children's sense of responsibility is perseverance. If parents only occasionally let their children clean the room, then the children will certainly not remember; If children only participate in voluntary activities once or twice a year, they will not have the opportunity to fully realize their own values.
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