Live with your in-laws and educate your children.
1 first of all, we must understand that children are the continuation of the love of the elderly, so don't blame the elderly.
? Every other generation? , is a very deep, subtle and unspeakable feelings. Seeing that their children have children, most old people are at a loss, not to mention that their grandchildren want toys, even the stars and the moon. If they can take it off, they are willing to give it! Some old people care about their livelihood when they are young and spend less energy on their children. It is enough for their children to eat, dress and read.
Now that living conditions are good and leisure, psychological compensation comes into being. If you want to make up for your grandson's lack of love for his children, you should love them all the more, give them whatever you want, and even use them. Afraid of falling in your hand, afraid of melting in your mouth? It is no exaggeration to use it to describe it. After a long time, it is really easy to spoil bad children.
If parents accuse the elderly of the wrong way to raise children, or arbitrarily put forward our way to raise children directly, it will be difficult for the elderly to accept it at once and will be heartbroken. In China, most elderly people seldom have their own lives. When they were young, they took care of their children as the focus of their lives. When children grow up and get older, they take care of their grandchildren as the focus of their lives. We rashly change or criticize the education of the elderly, which will hurt their hearts. Old people love children, too. Young parents should not blame them.
Communicate with the elderly and establish a United front for the whole family.
Young parents should communicate more with the elderly at home, talk more about educational methods, learn from each other and learn from each other's strengths. In a family, parents and grandparents must have the same concept of parenting, so that children can know which behaviors are ok and which behaviors are not, otherwise children will be confused. On the issue of educating children, all family members should form a United front, and young parents must not be busy with discipline, and old people will follow suit.
Young parents and old people should reach an agreement through consultation. When disciplining children, it is best for the elderly to stay out of it and try their best to safeguard the dignity of young parents in front of children. In this way, children will learn to respect their parents instead of being exclusive. Even if the two sides have differences, don't expose them in front of the children. This will only make children feel a little lucky when they make mistakes.
Never compromise on the issue of principle.
On the issue of educating children, we will never compromise on principles. Even if the elderly intervene, parents should bravely stick to their own views and let him know not to break through the bottom line. Don't interrupt normal education just because the other person is an old man. This will only make children feel that no matter what mistakes they make, they have a backer. Of course, in order to avoid the deterioration of family conflicts, parents can avoid their children and actively communicate with the elderly afterwards to minimize positive conflicts. Parents should try not to discipline their children in front of the elderly, and avoid the elderly when they reason with them.
But remember, when educating children, don't completely deny the practice of the elderly, which will only make children rebellious.
Advantages of the elderly in educating their children
Advantages: 1: impressive+patient and careful.
My mother-in-law is hardworking all her life, and Coco is also very diligent: when she sees grandma washing dishes or washing clothes, she will help; I have been eating by myself since I was a child; When grandparents are tired, she will help to rub their backs and shoulders.
Mother-in-law's own cultural level is not high, but she is very thoughtful. She bought a lot of stickers to stick on the wall. People, fruits and vegetables, numbers and the Chinese zodiac can be read countless times every day. My mother-in-law also bought a lot of books for Coco, and read them with her before going to bed every day, and then read them for a while after getting up in the morning. Now Coco has developed the habit of reading books for a while in the morning and evening.
I often sigh: If I take care of my children independently, Coco would not be as sensible and smart as it is now.
Coco's clothes are all washed by her mother-in-law. After washing, scald it with hot water and dry it. All out-of-season clothes should be washed, and then those that can be worn in the future should be packed separately. Even Coco's furry toys, puzzles and even building blocks are often cleaned. (Coca-Cola 3333)
Advantage 2: rich experience+flexibility
Some old people's experiences are not outdated and useful. I often see many scientific parenting methods from the internet and books. Sometimes these methods are particularly effective, but sometimes I can't copy them. For example, many parenting materials say that children wear less clothes than adults, because children are always active and easy to sweat. This is true in theory, but it doesn't always apply. I remember that once we were going to take our children out to play, and when the seasons changed, Yaya's grandmother put on an extra dress for her children. I didn't think so at first, and even wanted to object. When I went out, I found that the old man was right. At that time, Ya Ya couldn't walk very well. I wanted her to walk more after going out, but she couldn't talk about it that day and spent most of her time in the car. Although the temperature outside was not low that day, the wind was a little cold, so it was wise to change her clothes. (Yan Jian)
Advantage 3: simple idea+time
When Nannan was born, mother made three rules with us, one of which was? Do you want to raise it or not? . Mother thinks that it is more effective to let children know about natural things than books. Therefore, when Nannan was 40 days old, my mother encouraged me to take him out and breathe the fresh air of nature. When I get older, I follow my grandparents everywhere. Although we will take him when we have time, our grandparents will take him to see the vast new world more often at work. All the parks and beaches in Weihai, Chengshantou in Rongcheng, Xixiakou Wildlife Park, Shidao Bay, Kunyu Mountain in Wendeng, Silver Beach in Rushan and Underwater World in Penglai. In short, he has been to almost all the mountains and seas in Jiaodong Peninsula. This plays a vital role in his cheerful personality and strong physique.
Parents' suggestions on educating their children
0 1 Let go of your strength and reflect more.
In the parent-child relationship, if parents, as a strong group, can reflect more on their responsibilities in the parent-child conflict, children may be more considerate of your difficulties, rely more on you, and thus be more willing to accept your teaching. On the contrary, if you just make random accusations, it will only make your children farther and farther away from you.
Learn to encourage children.
Parents must remember that a child who has been psychologically hit will inevitably become an idle person. If children who are not encouraged are like seedlings after a long drought, then some children who are often hit rather than encouraged will only become thirsty hay. Therefore, in addition to criticizing children's mistakes, we should also give them corresponding encouragement.
Pay attention to children's frustration
When children tell their parents. I feel sick? 、? I'm disappointed? Sometimes, careless parents often laugh it off. They will say:? Son, what frustration can you feel? Don't be naughty, you have nothing to be disappointed. ? However, since adults are frustrated, so are children.
Because regardless of age, we are all human beings, and as long as we are human beings, we will have different feelings. Adults need help when they are frustrated, don't children? Of course I do!
Cultivate children's good character.
Whether a person is happy or not often depends on what kind of personality he has. Therefore, in the process of children's growth, parents should always put the cultivation of children's good character in an extremely important position. In the process of a child's growth, many problems will arise.
They not only grow physically, but also change psychologically day by day. As parents, don't focus all your energy on your children, but ignore another important aspect of their growth: psychological growth.
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