The three biggest scams about education are: happy education, useless academic qualifications, and releasing children's nature. These three scams are distorting children's growth.

Release nature

In the cinema, when everyone was watching the movie seriously, a child jumped up and down in his seat and laughed for almost half an hour from time to time, while his mother sat by and ignored it.

An adult next to me can't stand it, let the mother of the child say to take care of the child. Mother said: "This is the nature of children. I can't restrain his nature. "

This kind of behavior of ignoring others' feelings and conniving at children is not called "release", but can only make others say that your child is uneducated.

Releasing nature does not mean letting go of all the characteristics of children. As parents, it is necessary to control whether the children's various natures are reasonable and beneficial to him, and then decide whether to release them. Don't use the slogan "release nature" to hurt children.

awareness of rules

This happened in a hot pot restaurant in Wuxi, Jiangsu province: adults were eating in their seats, and a child was running around in the aisle, and his mother followed slowly, without scolding or stopping. I guess they still think their children are lively and lovely.

But when I ran to a corner, I just bumped into the waiter who turned the corner. The waiter held a pot of grilled fish in his hand, and the child's forehead was just stuck on the hot grilled fish pot. The tragedy happened instantly and the child was burned.

You can play, but you should play in the right place. This restaurant is no place for children to play. If parents have a sense of rules, they will not let their children play and run in the restaurant, and there will be no such tragedy.

But now, children are not only running and playing in restaurants, but also on trains and hospitals. And these behaviors happen to be in violation of the regulations.

Why do children in China generally lack the awareness of rules?

Because in the eyes of many parents, children's nature is higher than rules. Children are naturally active and can run freely, make noise and speak loudly. Ignoring the rules will only bring more and more tragedies.

Fear consciousness

Last year, a murder case occurred in Longhui, Hunan. A 73-year-old grandmother was killed in front of her house. The police immediately rushed to the scene and cracked the case in less than five hours. The murderer turned out to be a child of 13 years old.

On the afternoon of the incident, the child stayed near his grandmother's house and was scolded by her grandmother. Without saying anything, the child picked up a knife at the door and went straight to the old woman. It was a knife in the old man's head and he died on the spot. The child took 700 yuan from the old man and fled the scene.

A similar thing happened in Shaodong, Hunan Province, not far away: three left-behind children discussed going for a stroll in the primary school. Because of the holiday that day, the school gate was closed and the three of them climbed over the wall and went in. After entering the school, they pried open the canteen door and stole the bread, lollipops and other food inside, which happened to be discovered by the female teacher on duty. For fear of being caught, three children and three left-behind children discussed going for a stroll in the primary school. Because of the holiday that day, the school gate was closed and the three of them climbed over the fence. After entering the school, they pried open the canteen door and stole bread, lollipops and other foods, which happened to be discovered by the female teacher on duty. Afraid of being caught, the three children directly killed the female teacher with a wooden stick and then fled.

The next day, three children were captured by the public security organs. Left-behind children can be regarded as the most thorough stocking, nobody cares about them, let alone care about them, lacking a sense of awe in the law, and finally ending in tragedy.

Every child has a demon hidden in his heart. Without restraint and discipline, children will lack the most basic awe.

Children have no sense of self-discipline

I met a mother before, a very ordinary family, an ordinary parent and an ordinary child. It is said that after reading a famous expert's book, I decided to imitate his parenting methods. When to get up and go to bed, the mother never cares, because she feels that the child has the consciousness of being responsible for herself; As for academic performance, interest is the most important thing, so don't ask for anything. And the result?

Three years later, the child's grades were terrible. Originally, she was above average. After three years, she is basically at the bottom. Other children have one or two specialties. Where are her children? Without any special skills. Playing games is very powerful Other children never bring their cell phones to school. Her children play mobile games for more than eight hours every day, and they are often late for school ... she doesn't understand why the method of raising children by stocking them will end up like this.

In fact, this is not the only child who has been destroyed by stocking.

"Self-discipline" is easy to say, but how can it be so simple to do? Don't talk about children, parents just want to be self-disciplined. Did you set yourself many goals, but didn't achieve the last one? What makes you think that children can do things you can't?

Self-discipline is very important, but it is not innate and can only be achieved through slow training. Self-discipline is the key to children's growth, and the premise of parents' stocking is to help children develop strong "self-discipline" first.

Children are ill-bred.

There is such a thing on the internet: a girl is waiting in line to buy milk tea, and a 7-or 8-year-old child is directly in front of her, and his mother is behind. The girl couldn't stand it, and told her mother that the child cut in line. Unexpectedly, his mother casually said, if the child is like this, please make way.

There was also a news report before: two children were taking the elevator in a residential area in Zhengzhou, Henan Province. One of them had a whim and wanted to stretch in the elevator. He put his foot against the elevator door while holding the wall with his hand, and then fell hard. Unexpectedly, the security door inside the elevator suddenly flew out and the main control panel of the elevator was ejected from the wall. If it were not for the external wall protection, the consequences would be unimaginable. Unexpectedly, after the incident, the mother forwarded the surveillance video among the owners and said, "Is this elevator made of paper? I also said that the property has to thank my son! "

Behind every Xiong Haizi, there must be passive parents. For children's willfulness and ignorance, they chose to close their eyes and give up their responsibilities as parents. Of course, they didn't expect that the result would be to raise their children.

The weakest education: stocking

In recent years, western educational methods have been praised by many parents. Children should be happy and free, release their perfect nature and let them grow up independently and freely. It looks beautiful, but it's really terrible. Many parents are not "stocking" at all. In their eyes, stocking is actually giving up, that is, indulging, and finally violating the rules or even breaking the law. The book "Unequal Childhood" writes: At least to a certain extent, American elites generally practice cooperative training, which can be roughly understood as "captivity", while the working class and the poor practice natural growth, which is what we call "stocking". You see, the "stocking" you hold in heaven is just a helpless choice for the bottom people in the United States. Like most people in China, they don't have enough time and money to educate their children. Moreover, the more serious reality is that the released children simply have no strength to compete with the children of elite families, and the price of releasing them may be that you will never lose the way to rise. Ushinski, a famous educator, said: If you form a good habit, you will never enjoy the interest it brings you; If you form bad habits, you will never be able to pay off your debts. In fact, any country is the same, and elite education has never been reserved!

Can't cross the "boundary"

Educator Ding Lin told a story. Some time ago, an American guest came to her house-a little girl in grade three. Like all children, this little girl has no resistance to sweets. After eating the first one, she wants to eat the second one. She asked her mother if she could. Mom made it very clear that she couldn't. The little girl had to accept it. Many people like to talk about how free and advanced foreign education is and how much they respect children's wishes, but they ignore one point: in the face of freedom, there is a clear boundary, which shows that some things can be done and some things can't be done. Parents should give their children freedom, but this freedom is not unlimited, irregular and unrestrained, let alone connivance and inaction. There is nothing wrong with certain release and tolerance, but in the face of release, there must be a clear boundary. Some things are tolerable, but some boundaries cannot be crossed.