At this time, some parents will gently say: Baby, our family has no money, and we can't buy it without money.
Some parents will shout loudly: Why do you want everything? Are there too many toys to play with at home?
Some parents will euphemistically say: the baby's mother has no money, and she will buy it next time.
Some parents will directly say: this is too expensive, and it is not suitable for you at all.
At this time, many children's reaction is to cry and want to achieve their goals. Many parents will say: if you cry again, I will leave you here and I will leave you alone.
Think about it. Have you said these words to your children? When parents say these words, they may unconsciously plant seeds of want and unworthiness for their children. This little seed will take root in the child's spiritual world and may affect the child's life.
When you told your child that we didn't have the money to buy this for you, you found an excuse that the child couldn't refuse, but the child would plant a scarce seed at an early age; If you tell your child that you want everything, the implication is that the child should not have this toy now. Your idea may be that there are similar things at home, but after the child hears them, he will plant a seed that he doesn't deserve such a fun toy. Such two seeds will lead children to dare not pursue beautiful things in the future, and it will be easy to retreat when encountering setbacks.
Many times, what parents have said is printed in the child's subconscious. I don't know if you are reading the article now. When you see something that is expensive but you like it very much, what is your first reaction? The first reaction is that this is too expensive for me, or is this too good for me to get?
Mother Jing still remembers wanting to buy a beautiful headdress when she was a child, but her mother said it was too expensive and wasteful, so she simply didn't buy it. At that time, she cried very sadly. Although she can support herself financially and buy hundreds of clothes now, she still feels reluctant to see the price, because the seeds she planted when she was a child were scarce and unworthy.
Therefore, it is necessary to establish a correct view of money for children from an early age, plant some beautiful seeds for their hearts, and make their hearts rich and sunny.
Of course, sorting out the correct concept of money is definitely not what children want to buy, which will become a spoil for children and do more harm than good to children. In this way, children will not know the boundaries, cultivate financial quotient, and prevent their hearts from planting seeds of want and unworthiness. There are three ways to do this:
1, agreed in advance
I must make an appointment with my children in advance. I went to the mall today, and I can only buy one thing. With this agreement, when we get to the mall, we can gently and firmly remind our children what our agreement is, so what do you decide to do now?
At this time, gentleness and firmness become very important. Tender is to let the child know that you love her, not because she is not good, but because the principle is like this.
Firmness is to set a boundary for children. With this boundary, children will feel safe and will not be spoiled for no reason.
In positive discipline, it is suggested to educate children to be kind and firm. Some people call it? Gentle and firm? , or? Gentle but with boundaries?
2. Give children their own pocket money.
When a child reaches a certain age, he can give his pocket money to his own control and teach him to store and control it, such as how much money he gives a day, without interfering with his control, but he can be guided to save what he wants to buy for a period of time. If he wants more, he can earn it in other ways.
At this time, children will be given full self-control. It doesn't matter if the child spends all the money in advance. Life is a process of experience, and it is a great wealth for children to experience these experiences as soon as possible.
Jingjing has given her children 100 yuan pocket money every month since she was five years old, and she can control it freely. Whenever we pass the toy store, she wants to buy toys. I tell her: It will cost you your own money. So she began to think about whether she needed to buy this, and many times she would give up buying it.
One day Jingjing said, Mom, I want to buy crayons. I told her, Yes, you have to buy them yourself. Jingjing said: mom doesn't have to buy it, but the ones at home can still be used.
Let children have a sense of mastery and let them train their self-control ability.
When children cry, what we need is empathy, not unrequited love.
Many parents feel humiliated because their children are crying outside, and they will maliciously scold their children. Don't cry. If they cry again, they won't want you. This will make children feel that their parents are rude and they really don't want him.
When children cry in the mall, we really need to see what the children are doing. It is very likely that he received a lot of grievances on this day. During the day, the kindergarten was robbed of toys by children, but the teacher didn't see it. I held back; When I got home, I wanted to eat more, but my grandmother stopped me. I want to wear the other shoe when I go out. You said it was too cold. I'll wear it next time, and then I'll come. She saw this thing and wanted to buy it. When you say no, she will vent all her emotions. The mother only saw the child crying, but it was probably because the child couldn't help it.
This is the result of a day's accumulation, so at this time, we should spend more time with our children, speak their minds and understand them more. Every time Jingjing cries, I will first affirm her emotions: Baby, are you wronged? Jingjing said: Yes.
I said my mother was sad to see you cry. Do you want to tell her what happened?
We must first understand the child's emotions, empathize with the child, and let the child know that your mother understands your feelings and that her mother will always be your harbor.
As parents, we really need to be more patient and listen to our children. When the children understand, we will think about whether there is a better solution with them: for example, we can watch it here for a while and buy it back tomorrow and the day after tomorrow; Or we can exchange this toy for another very similar toy when we go home, or we shouldn't have spent pocket money on this toy at that time, and so on.
Help children to resolve their emotions and be their own masters. Plant the seeds of love and sunshine in children's hearts, so that children can grow up healthily.