The title of this book, Flexibility, is exactly what I expect of myself, that is, "gentleness and firmness". As the Tao Te Ching said, "goodness is like water". Water is invisible and invisible, but it can reach everything. "Toughness" is a process, an action, and "softness" is the final state.
"Resilience" means suffering, unremitting pursuit and self-persistence.
"Rou" is a simple, pure and unpretentious self.
Below, different characters represent different attributes, which are actually their * * * characteristics, but the interview is focused, and everyone presents their core characteristics, but when we read a book, it is best to use it for us, and as a rule, the * * * characteristics should be extracted, which is of guiding significance to our lives.
Dong Qing, Yan Wen, Kyle and Su Mang are the representatives of perfectionism, Dong Qing is the host, Yan Wen is the director, Marco is the fashion designer, and Su Mang is the editor-in-chief of the magazine. Their similarity is that they strive to do what they pursue, as hard as obsessive-compulsive disorder, but only in this way can they have the best presentation.
Dong Qing: I'm going to read the 20,000-word manuscript several times, because it was drawn and recorded a long time ago, and then you have to recall the state at that time, the speed of the guest's speech, and enter the context of his speech. Imagine that he seems to be still opposite you, and then start drawing according to that context, and 20 thousand calligraphy and painting will become 2 thousand words. I have a strong perfectionism, close to the edge of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I draw every word one by one, and I feel uncomfortable with one more word and one less word.
Yan Wen: Wen Yan is always in a state of dissatisfaction. If she is not satisfied, she won't be angry. People with tenacity in their bones are always activists. Yang Hongyu remembered that the film was sent to France for mixed recording, and the schedule was as follows. Before that, the picture must be cut. As a result, two days before the film was sent to France, Wen Yan changed another shot with her.
Kyle: Kyle has a pair of sharp eyes. 200 kinds of fabrics, 1 minute to identify differences and pick out the most needed items. Her critical personality and excessive pursuit of perfection often put pressure on her subordinates. Strong sense of distance, like "totem hanging on the wall". She mercilessly accused a very tired executive and resigned immediately after the show.
Su Mang: The editor of Su Mang said, "I have known her for seven years. This is the first time I have seen her cry like this. She used to cry because she was moved, but this time I saw that she was really out of despair and helplessness. I think what really attracts her in this world is that she cooks better than others, including this meal. She collapsed at that time because she had already attended the previous dinner, and she could perceive that our things were not as good as others. "
Only the constant pursuit of perfection can make what we do better and better, and the touching part of life is the unattainable "perfection", which constantly attracts us to move forward.
Su Mang once said that she didn't like the way of interviewing people. Let's talk about the starting point of the people and their achievements now. The middle ten years have been omitted, and her magazine is to let readers see how everyone you admire "gets through it". What is it? What you endure is bitterness and pain.
Li Na: 1 1 At the age of, Li Na joined the Hubei Training Team and studied under former Asian champion Yu Liqiao. There, she has no right to make mistakes. If one thing can't be corrected after two or three times, the coach will get angry. If an action fails continuously, it will be pushed off the stage in the reprimand of "rolling", and there is no right to express emotions. If you cry, the coach will say, "Why are you crying?" If you don't cry, the coach will say, "Do you have a brain or not? You don't even feel it. "
In the end, I didn't even have the right to say goodbye. Li Na returned to Wuhan after playing a youth competition in Shenzhen. Her uncle came to pick her up. Her uncle took her to breakfast first, and then took her to her grandparents' house. Downstairs of her grandfather's house, she saw a wreath with her father's name on it. That year, Li Na 14 years old.
For a long time after my father died, "I didn't live a day for myself." Li Na said, because "playing tennis well and winning the national championship" is not only the legacy left by my father, but also the way to help my mother make money and pay off her debts. She described herself as "stubborn, melancholy and as hard as a stone". Li Na wrote in her autobiography "Playing Alone": "In the following years, I repeatedly doubted whether I should embark on the road of tennis, but at that time I had no choice ... I didn't know why I insisted. The only reason I insist is that everyone thinks I should stick to it. "
Yan Ning: Before that, she published a paper in Nature for the first time, because she made the structure of soluble protein. She felt that there was nothing she couldn't do, and the state was "very arrogant", so she decided to challenge the most difficult membrane protein structure at that time. However, Yan Ning underestimated the difficulty of this subject, and the result of every experiment was negative. She described herself as a "walking corpse". At the worst time, she failed the experimental results and didn't write experimental records for 14 days in a row-writing experimental records every day is a requirement of the laboratory. After waking up, she wrote down the "gloomy days" of these two weeks directly in the experimental notebook. But more than a year later, Yan Ning made the first membrane protein structure in the laboratory.
Kyle: In his memory, he clearly retains the picture of Kyle rushing to make clothes all night. "Sometimes it's too bitter," she said, shedding a basin of tears. At the end of the performance, she didn't sleep for a week and finally got sick. "
Yan Wen: The fixation around her waist hurts badly, but you can't see how wronged she is. She won't say things like' Ouch, I'm in pain'. She didn't specifically say' Oh, you don't have to worry about me or anything, I'm fine', and she wouldn't say such a thing. "This is a particularly hard thing in Yang Hongyu's eyes. She will not make any excuses for herself." As if nothing had happened at the scene, what should I do? She is extremely resourceful. "
Alyssa Chia: Divorce for her daughter made her face "the most beautiful in Taiwan below 170cm". Andy Lau was haggard and deformed. Alyssa Chia almost gave up custody, but she didn't want her love for her daughter to be replaced by hatred and complaints. With the divorce comes the sad time of raising her daughter alone, so tight that in Black Swan, Alyssa Chia almost becomes a paranoid mother with a strong desire for control.
Now I feel no wonder that sometimes watching her sleep will suddenly shed tears and feel sorry for her. Now that I think about it, I feel sorry for myself. I want to hug her and give her a lot. I love her and I love myself.
Jia Ling: Two or three years after graduation, Jia Ling can only take sporadic performance jobs, and "support" the crosstalk career with the income from running a crew and working in a bar. Jia Ling said that he was living in a small bungalow in an alley, and he paid rent in 500 yuan every month. As soon as he entered the door, his bed was full of DVDs, and the dog had to wag its tail when it came.
Jiang Luxia: Xiong Xinxin is very strict. On the second day of filming in the group, she crashed out of the glass room, and the broken tempered glass plunged into her phalanx and sewed seven stitches. Two days later, she will shoot a play on the bamboo frame. The director thought the bandage on her hand was too fake and asked her to remove it. Shoot a scene, bleed, change the band-aid, shoot again, and finally the blood on the bamboo pole is hers.
The agent was scared and cried, and called the company to ask for breaking the contract. "Xiao Xia has suffered too much. This is not called filming, it is called playing hard. " Jiang Luxia didn't want to play for more than 50 days and finished the whole movie. Later, when someone asked her where she had photographed in Hong Kong, she replied that she had only been to the hospital, and Chinese medicine and western medicine dragged her over and back. Finally, I got the salary of 1.2 million, which was 28 points worse than the company and took 24 thousand.
At that time, she was particularly afraid of riding over the speed bump or running over a stone. As long as you play it, her neck will hurt immediately, and her hand will be anesthetized immediately. It hurts like hell. So as soon as she got on the bus, she held her head and dared not shake it. She went everywhere to seek medical treatment for her neck, and all the money she earned from filming was spent on medical expenses.
On the day of the game, Jiang Luxia didn't give up training. This is the ability to eat. The gym was too expensive, so she thought of a way-buying group coupons online. 15 yuan has one class and one trial, but a gym can only be used once, so she changes to a different gym every time. "If there are 100 gyms in Beijing, I have run through at least 80 gyms. You can see me by monitoring. "
Looking at their suffering and pain, they will think of that sentence, everything God gives you is marked with a good price, how much you pay, how much you get.
At the same time, I will also think about how they bear such suffering and pain.
The answer in my heart is "pursuit", and Li Na pursues "realizing her father's legacy"; Kyle and Yan Wen pursue the ultimate presentation; Alyssa Chia pursues the best love for her daughter; Jia Ling and Jiang Luxia pursue their dreams.
Some of them are because of love, and some are because of responsibility.
"Love" and "responsibility" make them suffer hardships that most people can't bear. This is human resilience. For example, your weight lifting is 50kg. Keep practicing, and you will break through yourself and reach 60kg.
Christina: I used to care about whether others liked it or not, because you didn't just act for yourself. You always sang songs and communicated with the audience, but later I felt that liking, being bad and praising were superficial things to me. The question of everything is not what kind of name the outside world gives you, but what kind of actor I want to be.
Would you still do it if there were no praise, applause and spit? Let me see, if no one is really watching, what should I play? In the contradictions of recent years, I have also found an understanding of myself-oh, I am not acting to prove that I can, but because I like it, and like and can are different.
DIANA: When Liu Heng speaks, he is like a parent: "I hope the children will move on and live up to the expectations of their elders. It's up to you what we can't finish. I hope you will contribute your energy to the whole literary building and the spiritual world of mankind. "
Three years later, facing the reporter of People, Dian talked about the seminar and smiled: "It is difficult for seniors to have a meeting in the afternoon and have a look at my book in the morning." At the age of 32, she has curly hair, carries a Chanel bag and wears a burgundy off-the-shoulder sweater. She likes to tell stories in life, her understanding of literature, and her hard work in creation, but she doesn't care about her "mission". The media called her a bridge between youth literature and serious literature. "As long as they are happy," she said with a smile. "actually, people want me to finish it ... but your dream of writing doesn't include their expectations at all."
Li Yinuo: She realized that she needed to "win" and wanted to win. Before, she just "wanted to be recognized." It took her a lot of time to get used to her ambition. I have been afraid to say publicly that I want to be a partner, but I have taken the initiative to talk to all my colleagues who have worked together to gain their support (the evaluation mechanism of McKinsey Global Partners is that the company will appoint a senior partner who has no contact with the applicant as a selector, and he will ask colleagues who have worked in the past three years to listen to feedback and finally form a comprehensive opinion).
Chatting, Li Yinuo realized that this self-exposure of "wanting what you want" actually made him more real. Admit that I am not good enough, this is me, and tell others what I think now, what I am good at and what I enjoy.
Kyle: I'm not in the fashion or art circles. I don't belong to any circle. "Kyle stressed to reporters. She doesn't watch programs, go shopping or even bother to read fashion magazines. She holds the attitude of cherishing words like gold, treats the media cautiously, rarely gives interviews, lives in seclusion, and has an incomprehensible resistance to appearing in the camera.
She prefers a quiet life to being a successful person, working to take care of her daughter during the day and studying at night. Finally, Kyle reminded students to "keep your mouth shut and open your heart" when designing.
Yan Wen: We spent several months making sound and three weeks mixing it, scene by scene every day. The sound of the sea and the sound of the wind are actually helping to narrate and shape the characters and her emotions. "But today, China audiences are basically unable to appreciate this kind of texture." There are so many bad movies that he simply doesn't realize them. He is used to listening to the dull, empty and sudden sound. "
"Do you feel that your efforts have been disappointed?"
Hearing this question, Vivian Qu paused a little and turned calm: "No, this is the status quo in China. I am not disappointed. The audience let themselves down. They don't realize that this thing can bring beauty to life. They can't enjoy it at all, and they can't appreciate the value of movies. "
Su Mang: After 19, Su Mang is still full of fighting spirit and is very infectious. "She is always in a state of chicken blood." One of her editors said.
"I feel that if I'm not at my best, I'm not at my best." Su Mang said.
This is Su Mang's dream. Why not bake a cake in the morning or drive a used car around the world?
Su Mang stopped to think, and finally she said, "Yes. There seems to be this problem. I find that I can't overcome any problems that ordinary people can overcome. For example, you can't talk about feelings and do sensational literary works. You ask me to make a big one, and I'll get to the point.
Xu: I felt particularly unlucky when I was a child. I felt so unlucky. "Now, she feels more and more that life, as her father said, is too delicate and fragile and useless for life. It turned out that her father had taught her how to deal with herself since she was a child. She doesn't want to mix circles and hates participating in fashion activities. Xu said: "My family has taught me to study since I was a child. In order to dress up beautifully when I grow up, I pretend to be familiar with everyone with a glass of wine-what am I doing this for?" "Really not. To be honest, so I think this is quite shameful. "
Yan Ni: Yan Ni has always been an emotional actor. Geng Le remembers that when filming, Yan Ni was very different from her daily life. She sticks to her own opinion and can use the word "stubborn". He said: "Yan Ni starts from emotion. If you ask her to say a conversation that is not in her feelings, she feels that she just can't say it. "
Zhang Jiayi was also impressed. When he and Yan Ni were partners as a servant and two masters, they quarreled several times and almost fought. Yan Ni is not good at expressing herself, but Yan Ni is determined not to play a role she doesn't like. But once she understood the role and started the performance, the on-site staff were happy to stop. Zhang Jiayi said: "At that time, basically as long as she started, the actors present could hardly play her."
Jia Ling: I left the discussion room and went home this morning. It's already dawn. She and Zhang complained: "I am a girl, why do you spell it like this?" Slim and beautiful Zhang teased her and said, "You are not like me. I want to marry well in the future. "
The sketch is discharged, and there is a dance action of stretching out a finger and twisting the waist. Zhang's twist didn't have comic effect, but everyone laughed when Jia Ling twisted it, saying that only you can make it feel cute. Jia Ling is quite proud. The comedian's body is the creative material, and she thinks it is good to harmonize with her body. "Then don't lose weight." Jia Ling said.
Jiang Luxia: She is trying to find new opportunities, and honesty and frankness are against the logic of this circle. Generally speaking, if an actress wants to be popular for a long time, she must broaden her career. If a beautiful girl wants to transform, she should play more emotional dramas. But in the interview that year, someone asked her if she would accept kissing. She blushed and asked, "I don't need body double to practice martial arts, but can I use body double for this?"
"Being yourself" is to gradually realize that everyone is born different, so as to accept yourself, give play to your strengths and realize what you can.
Christina realized that it is not "I can" but "I like", because ability is not innate. "I like" can help you from "can't" to "I can", but if you stay in "I can", it becomes a limit.
Li Yinuo emphasized "winning" rather than seeking recognition, because recognition is subjective and vacillating, but winning exists objectively, which will make your pursuit more firm.
To be yourself is to stick to your own ideas and creative needs, not to expect or cater to the audience, but to do what you think is right.
Kyle and Xu's "being themselves" is to stick to themselves in the crowd without getting wet or flattering.
Su Mang, Yan Ni, Jia Ling and Jiang Luxia know where their boundaries are, what they are best at, what they can enlarge and what they cannot converge.
Their success is not recognized by many people, but they have spent their lives in the way they like, not blindly following and not admitting defeat, not caring about their position, but always facing their inner direction.
From this perspective, success is defined, determined by people, and there are indeed good and bad points.
Pretending to be good will eventually be wronged by yourself and lose yourself.
Perfectionism brings constant exploration and pursuit;
Suffering is the only way to find yourself;
To be myself is to turn a cocoon into a butterfly, but in a complicated world, I know very well why I am doing it for me.
All public figures. When they push themselves to the public, they will inevitably face a contest between "self" and "public". Not only they, but all people are also facing the contest between "self" and "others" and need to handle their relationship with the world.
We start from ourselves, but many times we are uneasy and unwilling to live with ourselves. We are eager for more growth and more strength. We constantly "do" ourselves through work and hobbies, polishing and building ourselves.
There has always been worship and imitation; Through confusion, through confusion.
The most difficult and simplest thing in the world is to "be yourself" and get rid of triviality and complexity.
Sanmao has a saying: "maturity is not for complexity, but for innocence." Naive people don't mean they haven't seen the darkness of the world. It is because they saw it that they know that innocence is good. "
Why should we pursue innocence? Because the natural truth is us.