(This article is compiled with reference to some materials. Thanks for the cited literature)
First of all, women are the most persistent
Love is the relationship between people. Marx said, then you can only exchange love with love and trust with trust.
Love is the process of cultivating love between men and women. Love has its own rules of the game: first, pay attention to morality, sentiment, like-mindedness, get to know each other and know each other well. Second, respect each other's feelings and fulfill their obligations equally. Third, noble taste and healthy communication. Fourth, loyalty is single-minded. In fact, the first three items are used to inspect cadres and identify true and false friends. But this fourth kind of loyalty is the key and the most important of the rules of love.
Love is the most rigorous test of human nature, and the moral purity of love is a mirror of human soul.
Sex is exclusive in essence, that is, love exists between a pair of opposite sex and excludes anyone else. Sex is very passionate. When it is formed, it is eager to form a lifelong companion with the person it loves, and strives to bring personal life into the field of sex, so that it can gain new value in the combination with sex. Therefore, loyalty and singleness are the highest principles of love.
Loyalty to love is inseparable from a person's general moral level. The most intolerable thing in a relationship is betrayal.
If you give all your love, you will get incomplete love in return; What you trust is betrayal. How generous will you be in the long life ahead? Unfortunately, some women can't get rid of this betrayal and fall into helplessness.
Why do some women encounter this kind of betrayal and fall into helplessness?
Bottom line: Women are the most persistent.
Hegel said: "love must have the duality of spiritual personality, which involves two independent people;" And these two people must consciously realize their unity. But this unified concern should be linked to negative factors. "
Hegel said that love belongs to the subject, and the subject is an independent and self-sustaining heart. For the sake of love, we must abandon this independent heart, give up ourselves and sacrifice personal uniqueness. This is the touching factor for the formation of love. Love can only exist and feel itself when it is abandoned or sacrificed. The emotion I feel is not the feeling of sacrifice, but more happiness.
Compared with men, most women are the most persistent in Hegel's love. Miss Bai Yuting, an old maid in the TV series "Da Zhai Men", has a bitter love with Wan Xiaoju, an existing family player, from mystery to charm, and she loves this man to the extreme.
A woman who finds her lover unfaithful can only live in sacrifice, and the feeling of sacrifice is more happiness. It is because of this persistence that she lost her mind.
Secondly, the tragedy in women's nature
I always want to rest my head on a man's solid chest; Always want to follow a stalwart figure like a bird; I always want to melt myself into a man's arms. It seems that only in this way can women feel alive, practical, true and regretless. Even if there are great grievances, great sufferings and great grievances, once you lie in the breath of his burning desire full of sweet words, you will give up your great self again. This is a tragedy in women's nature.
Sex can sometimes be a naked confession of the soul; Sometimes it can be a rag that covers the sun. The emotional peak of sexual sublimation often makes a woman give up herself completely. While experiencing this nobility and profundity, there is also a kind of sadness or tragedy lurking.
"The emotional peak of sexual sublimation" is simply: a woman sleeps with the man she loves and is conquered by this man. This man gave her sexual satisfaction, and she was extremely happy about sex appeal, which made her inseparable from this man. Men will pursue new happiness in essence; And women are essentially single-minded, and she thinks that the man who gives her happiness. Therefore, the emotional peak of sexual sublimation often makes a woman give up herself completely. She even thinks that without him, she will die.
Third, the virgin complex
China's feudal society advocated that "the monarch should be a minister and the husband should be a wife". Men are committed to being loyal to a surname, while women are committed to being a good wife and mother. Neither men nor women have independent personalities. Why should mom be good? Because I have to carry on the family line of my husband. Why should a wife be virtuous? Because I want to help my husband manage the family business. A person living in the world is only related to the individual. This kind of life is as yellow and black as cats and dogs.
When a man dies, he must pass on his property to his son and ask a woman to be loyal to him. This is chastity. In the history of China, the requirements for women's chastity ranged from lenient to strict. Zhou Li: "Mid-spring Moon brings men and women together, so when it happens, the runner is helpless." The promotion of chastity began in the Han Dynasty, and it was hard to see it in the Song Dynasty. Cheng Yi said: "Starvation is a small matter, but dishonor is a big one." The May 4th Movement criticized the concept of chastity. Lu Xun said: this moral thing must be universal, everyone should do it, everyone can do it, and it is beneficial to others, so it has the value of existence. Nowadays, the so-called chastity is absolutely irrelevant except for men; Even women can't have this chance to become famous. Not everyone is considered moral like the French. "
In the pre-capitalist period in the west, there was also a view against female chastity, which was regarded as a religious belief that oppressed women. The virgin Mary in the Christian kingdom, although pregnant, conceived and gave birth, has always been an unpolluted virgin. She is the embodiment of purity. Modern western countries still have double moral standards of chastity. 198 1 a sociological work published in the United States said that all the value of a woman is maintained on a thin hymen. This is also the basis of their bargaining in marriage. Once a woman loses her virginity, her circulation value will plummet.
Engels said: "The relationship between men and women inherited in ancient times lost its simplicity and primitive nature with the development of economic living conditions and the disintegration of the ancient property system and the increase of population density, and the more women felt humiliated and embarrassed. The more women desperately need chastity. The right to marry a man temporarily or permanently as a remedy. This kind of progress will never develop in human beings. This is entirely because even today, men never want to give up the convenience of de facto group marriage. Only after women have transitioned to pairing marriage can men practice strict monogamy ―― naturally, this note on monogamy is for women. "
The concept of chastity is a derivative of male chauvinism. Freud said: it is not unreasonable to respect the value of virgins. Resistance caused by environment and education: Caution everywhere and attention everywhere have long hindered the girl's desire for love, so that once she breaks through the resistance and chooses a man who meets her expectations, she will commit herself to life. But once the sea is difficult for water, I can't be affectionate with other men as scheduled. Long-term loneliness before marriage will not cause a woman's submissive attitude, which is very helpful for a man to possess her safely and permanently, and can also make her resist new impressions and temptations from the outside world after marriage.
Once a woman entrusts herself to a man, most women will choose to leave him when she finds out that this man is unfaithful to her. But some people are at a loss in helplessness. Maybe she thinks that keeping this man is her victory over her rival in love. Most people in China have a little spirit of Ah Q in their bones. Maybe the virgin complex made her unable to make up her mind. The chastity complex between urban women and rural women is very different: the concept of chastity has the deepest roots and the greatest influence in rural areas. In short, the concept of chastity is still a spiritual shackle for modern women. Some women persist in thinking to the end, thus recognizing or reluctantly recognizing men's infidelity, and even willing to forgive each other's infidelity.
Fourthly, women's "ambiguity" and "marriage"
Chinese characters, "marry" means that a man "marries a woman"; "Marry" as "female" and follow "home". The word "marriage" has a new meaning: a "woman" will only get married if she is dizzy.
In the past, women did not have their own social status and independent economic ability. As the saying goes, "marry a Han Chinese, marry a Han Chinese, dress and eat", and the only way to solve the basic livelihood problem is to marry.
Nowadays, women don't have to rely on men to survive, and marriage is no longer the foundation of women's survival. Some people still regard men as long-term meal tickets and marriage as the simplest way to make a living, but it is by no means the caution of women as kannika nimtragol in the old society. They are justified. If he wants to marry me, he should be able to support me. Men also vowed to please in every way before marriage: dear, as long as you marry me, my property and everything are yours. However, if a woman is really reduced to being supported by a man, even if her clothes are tightly stretched, I am afraid that life will not be too comfortable. A married man may change his face faster than the weather. He will always pretend to be the master: yours is mine, even yours is mine, and mine is mine. It's okay for a man who changes his face not to change his mind, but such a man is often easy to change his mind, and if a woman refuses to swallow her eyes, I'm afraid the marriage will not be settled! Do you know that there is a free lunch in the world? At this point, if you don't blame yourself for this marriage, what can you blame?
Some women are carried away by blind love. She thinks that love is a woman's career, and the whole of life is overwhelming, so she loves it wholeheartedly and runs the career she loves. She said I love him because he is him and I love everything about him. I accept all his advantages and disadvantages, his kindness and bad temper, the smell of tobacco and even smelly socks on his body, which is romantic enough to be sung as a song. So I decided to be romantic with him on the spur of the moment, and only when I got married did I find myself on a thief boat. It turns out that falling in love can be affectionate and righteous, and marriage is realistic after all. The soap bubbles of colorful love will eventually burst bit by bit in the plain reality. When he is too tired to stand the smell of smoke and sweat, women will inevitably complain: how did you marry such a person in the first place? Have you lost your mind and gone blind?
And women marry for the sake of marriage. There is an old adage: when a man is older, he should marry when a woman is older. When a woman reaches a certain age and is unmarried, most of them will be regarded as an alternative, and there will be quite a lot of troubles. Especially those who live in rural areas are concerned by relatives and friends, nagged by their parents, criticized by others and have strange eyes. I think, you find someone to marry, since everyone is married, why don't I marry? Anyway, I was not prepared to get married for life, so I managed to find one and hurried into the marriage hall. I thought the world would be peaceful, but I didn't expect more troubles in the besieged city. Everything can't be worry-free, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, children's vegetable basket, and human feelings at home and abroad. Although I had the idea of being together, when it comes to divorce, it's really not so chic. It's easier to get on board than to get off. It's easier to go into town than out of town. Do you think that's enough? What was it when you didn't lose your mind? !
There are also many women who are intoxicated and confused by the sweet words of men. The man said sincerely and beautifully, "Dear, I want to give you a home, a warm harbor and a strong support. Will you marry me and let me take care of you for a lifetime? " "Dear, I love you and I need you. I really don't know how I can live without you. Shall we get married? " ..... A woman's heart is warm and down-to-earth, and she feels loved and needed, so she is swept off her feet. Why don't you promise? ! However, a woman has a home without her own. She became his housekeeper, his harbor and his support. He has safely handed over the responsibility of taking care of himself from his mother to her. Doing housework day and night has become a woman's unshirkable obligation and responsibility. She suddenly realized that she had fallen into a sweet trap. It sounded good, but it didn't taste good. Only then did I realize, and then?
Women get married when they lose their minds. All these, just to mention a few examples; A wave of unrest rises again, both ancient and modern. I think women are naturally more emotional than rational. I wonder if this is the misfortune of women or the luck of men?
5. Leave some space for yourself.
It is unrealistic to ask every woman to have a career before love. However, love is not the whole of life. There are many excellent men in the world, and there are many beautiful scenery in life that you haven't enjoyed.
Don't live in a narrow world, leave yourself a little bit, even if it is a narrow gap, as long as it is enough for you to turn around.
Six, love precepts
As a woman, whether staying in the boudoir or marrying a woman, we must abide by the following commandments:
1, don't be superstitious about love Superstition in love will make you lose everything.
2. Break up (divorce) Don't ask a man for money. When it comes to breaking up, asking for a man's money means asking for a man's life. Smart women know how to save money for a rainy day. Strike while the iron is hot, love asking for money.
Don't be intimidated by men's tears. After the rainstorm, there will be flash floods, and men's hearts will harden after tears.
4. Don't fall in love with a man younger than you. He will regard you as a love school, and once he is successful in official career, he will leave you without hesitation.
5. Don't rely too much on men. Men are either too soft-hearted or too hard-hearted, which is unreliable in short.
6. Don't confess your love history to men. No matter old love or new love, men will find excuses to betray you.