Zhang Xianliang
He is a son abandoned by the rich. ...
-victor hugo's Les Miserables.
one
Xu never expected to meet his father.
This is a fully furnished living room on the seventh floor of this high-class hotel. Outside the window, there are only empty blue sky and a few scattered white clouds. And there, in the farm on the Loess Plateau, there is a green yellow land outside the window, empty and full. Here, it's like suddenly rising to the clouds and feeling wobbly. Coupled with the smoke from my father's pipe floating indoors like fog, everything in front of me is even more elusive. However, my father still smokes the pipe silk with the Indian chief's head printed on it. This slightly sweet coffee aroma that he often smelled when he was a child proves from the sense of smell that this is not a dream, but a real reality.
"Let bygones be bygones!" Father waved. He has kept his own style in Cambridge since he got his bachelor's degree from Harvard in the early 1930s. Now, he is sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed in a tweed suit. "As soon as I arrived in the mainland, I learned a political term called' looking forward'. You'd better prepare to go abroad early! " The furnishings in the room and his father's clothes made him feel inexplicably depressed. He thought, the past is the past, but how can you forget it?
Exactly thirty years ago, in this autumn, he found a garden house on Joffrey Street, and the address was written by his mother. After the shower, the yellowed leaves looked more gaunt, and drops of water dripped from the French phoenix tree in the fence. There is barbed wire on the fence; The gate is also made of iron and painted with thick gray paint. He rang the doorbell for a long time before a small window on the iron gate opened. He knows this porter. He often sends letters to his father. The concierge led him through a concrete road with holly planted on both sides and into the living room of a two-story house. At that time, of course, my father was much younger than now, wearing a beige wool vest, leaning his elbow on the fireplace and smoking his pipe with his head down. There is a woman sitting on the high-backed sofa in front of the fireplace, and her mother curses all day.
"Is this the child?" He heard her ask her father, "It's quite like you. Come, come here! " He didn't go there, but he couldn't help looking at her. He remembers seeing a pair of bright eyes and two lips painted red.
"What's the matter? Huh? " Father looked up.
"Mom is ill and she wants you to go back."
"She is always sick, always …" Father left the fireplace angrily and walked back and forth on the carpet. The carpet is green with white patterns woven on it. His eyes followed his father's footsteps and fought back tears.
"You tell your mother that I'll be back soon." Father finally stood in front of him. But he knew that the answer was unreliable, and his mother had heard it on the phone more than once. He timidly and stubbornly demanded, "She wants you to go back now."
"I know, I know ..." Father put his hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him to the door. "You go back first and go back in my car. If your mother is seriously ill, tell her to go to the hospital first. " Father sent him to the front hall. Suddenly, he gently touched his head and muttered to himself, "If you were older, you would know, know ... your mother is difficult to get along with." She is like that, like that ... "He looked up and saw his father frowning and wiping his forehead with one hand, showing a weak and painful expression, but he felt a little sorry for his father.
However, when he was sitting in his father's Chrysler and walking through the French Concession with golden leaves, his tears suddenly came out. A feeling of humiliation, self-pity and loneliness suddenly struck. No one is pitiful! Only yourself is pitiful! He didn't get much caress from his mother, who played mahjong much more than his hair. He didn't get much guidance from his father. As soon as my father came home, his face was gloomy, depressed and bored, and then he began to quarrel endlessly with his mother. My father said that if he were older, he would understand ... In fact, at the age of eleven, he had vaguely understood something: what a mother needs most is the warmth of her father, and what a father needs most is to get rid of this eccentric wife. His mother and father don't need him! However, he is the product of an American student and a landlord. Later, my father didn't come home. Soon, his mother learned that his father left the mainland with the outside world and died in a hospital opened by Germans within a few days.
At that time, the PLA entered Shanghai. ...
Now, a long 30 years have passed, and after so many changes that have never been accommodated in any 30 years in history, this father suddenly came back and wanted to take him abroad. The whole thing was incredible. He couldn't completely believe that it was his father sitting in front of him and himself sitting in front of his father. Just now, when Miss Song, the female secretary who was with her father, opened the storage room to get clothes for her father, she saw that all the boxes were covered with colorful hotel trademarks: Los Angeles, Tokyo, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and the oval labels of Boeing 747 printed by TWA. A vast world was opened from this small storage room. As for him, it was only three days ago that he received a notice from the international travel agency transferred by the leader, and he arrived here after two days and two nights of car and train bumps. The gray artificial leather bag he brought is placed in the corner of the sofa. This kind of bag is "foreign" on the farm, but it looks coy and pitifully huddled in this living room. There is his nylon net bag on the bag, which contains his dental utensils and some tea eggs left over from the road. He looked at the tea egg with his mouth wide open and huddled in surprise. He remembered that Xiuzhi had asked him to bring more tea eggs to his father the night before he left, and he couldn't help smiling. The day before yesterday, Xiuzhi wanted to take Qingqing to the bus station in the county to see him off. He hasn't left the farm since they got married, and his long journey has become an epoch-making feat of their small family.
"Dad, where is Beijing?"
"Beijing is in the northeast of this county."
"Are there many big counties in Beijing?"
"There are many big counties."
"Do you have Malanhua?" "No" "Do you have Elaeagnus angustifolia seeds?" "No" and "Alas" Qingqing sighed like an adult, holding his chin in his hand, very, very disappointing. She thinks there should be Malania and Elaeagnus angustifolia in a good place.
"Silly girl, Beijing is a big place!" The driver Lao Zhao teased her, "Your father will fly away this time! Maybe you will go abroad with your grandfather. Isn't it, xu teacher? " Xiuzhi crossed her legs behind Lao Zhao and smiled at him. She didn't speak, but just this smile showed her trust and loyalty. She can't imagine him going to other countries any more than she can imagine how big Beijing is.
A rutted dirt road on which animals trample. The north of the road is a neat field, and the south of the road, in the misty distance, is the grassland where he once put his horse. Everything here is like magnetic attraction. It's hard for three horses and one car. Yes, everything here can remind him of endless memories, and he suddenly felt more cordial when he left. He knew that there was a stout Elaeagnus angustifolia tree behind three poplars. He got off and broke a branch, and several people ate one by one in the car. This is a unique wild fruit with slightly sweet sour taste in northwest China. During the famine in 1960, he lived on this wild fruit. I haven't eaten it for many years, and now it tastes particularly nostalgic and rustic. No wonder I want to ask if there is Elaeagnus angustifolia in Beijing! "Her grandfather has never eaten Elaeagnus angustifolia!" Xiuzhi spit the nucleus out of the car and said with a smile. This is the time for her to use her imagination to imagine this father-in-law who came back from abroad.
In fact, I don't need to imagine that father and son are so similar that Xiuzhi will recognize them when they meet in the street. Both of them have slender eyes, slender lines, tall and straight noses, plump lips, and even show traces of genes between raising their hands and lifting their feet. My father is not old. Although his skin color is as black as his son's, he must have been sunburned on the beach in Los Angeles or Hong Kong, and he is not haggard at all. My father is still so picky about his appearance. Although his hair is gray, it is not messy. Although there are age spots on the back of the hand, the nails are polished very brightly. On the coffee table, around the exquisite coffee cup, there are three B-brand pipes, Moroccan sheepskin tobacco bags, gold lighters and diamond-encrusted lapels. How could he have eaten Elaeagnus angustifolia! ?
two
"Ah, you can still hear Danny Goodman's Moonlight on the Ganges!" Miss Song can speak pure Mandarin. She is tall and plump, and exudes the fragrance of jasmine. Her long black hair is tied at the back of her head with a purple ribbon and shakes like a ponytail from time to time. "Chairman, you see, Beijingers dance disco better than Hong Kong people. Now they are all modernized!"
"No one can resist the temptation of happiness." Father smiled, like a philosopher who saw through everything. "They don't admit that they are ascetic now." After dinner, his father and Miss Song took him to the ballroom. He didn't expect such a place in Beijing. When he was a child, he went to Shanghai's "Ladder", "Paramount" and "French Nightclubs" with his parents. Now it's time to revisit the old place. However, when he saw women like men and men like women wandering around him like ghosts in the soft milky moonlight, he felt uneasy, just like an audience was suddenly pulled onto the stage to be an actor. He can't get in. Ask him to play. Just now, in the restaurant, he saw that some dishes were brought back with only a few chopsticks, and a burst of nausea came out of his stomach. At his place, everyone who goes to the state-run canteen in the county has to bring an aluminum lunch box and take the leftovers home.
There is music in the hall, and several couples are dancing strangely. Instead of hugging each other, they teased each other face to face and shook their heads like cockfighting. This is how these people consume excess energy! He thought of the people who are harvesting crops in the hot rice fields now. They bent down and kept swinging their upper limbs from right to left and from left to right. Occasionally, they raised their heads and shouted hoarsely to the distant burden, "Hey, water, water ..." Oh, if only he could lie under that green tree now, beside the bubbling yellow canal, smelling the breeze full of straw and alfalfa. ...
"Can you dance? Mr. Xu. " Suddenly, he heard Mr. Song ask him. The little smell he just smelled disappeared immediately. He turned to look at her: she also has bright eyes and two red lips.
"No, it won't," he smiled absently at her. He can release his horse, plow, harvest and raise fields ... why does he dance?
"Don't embarrass him," my father said to Miss Song with a smile. "Look, Manager Wang is here to invite you." A beautiful man in a gray suit walked around the table, smiled and bent down to Miss Yi Song, and then they jumped off the dance floor.
"What do you want to consider? Huh? " Father lit his pipe again. "You know better than me that the policies of the * * * production party are constantly changing. It is relatively easy to apply for a visa now, but it is hard to say what will happen in the future. "
"I also have something I miss." He turned to face his father.
"including pain?" Father asked meaningfully.
"Happiness only shows its value when there is pain."
"Huh?" Father stared at him and shrugged his shoulders in confusion.
He suddenly felt blue. This reminds me that my father also belongs to this strange and incomprehensible world. Physical similarity can't eliminate mental barriers. He also looked at his father like his father stared at him, but neither of them could see what was deep in his eyes through the other's retina.
"Are you still ... still angry?" Finally, my father lowered his eyes.
"No, not at all!" He waved his hand. This action is exactly the same as his father. "As you said: the past has passed. This is quite another matter ... "The dance music changed, and this time it was low and slow, like water flowing through a long river. The light seemed so dim that he couldn't see the fallen figure on the dance floor clearly. Father lowered his head and wiped his forehead with his hand, revealing that weak and painful expression. "Yes, the past is the past. But in retrospect, it is still very painful ... However, I really miss you, especially now ... "
Father's whispering, accompanied by this elegant dance music, also touched his feelings. "Yes, I believe." He said thoughtfully, "I miss you, too."
"Really?" Father looked up.
Yes, twenty years ago, that autumn night, the moonlight shone on a group of people through the window lattice broken by heavy rain, like piles of rags. A dozen people slept in a low adobe house. He clung to the wall and his clothes were soaked by the moisture of the soil. Trembling with cold, he simply stood up from the wet straw. Outside, the mud sparkled like broken glass in the moonlight. There is residual rain everywhere. The air is full of rotten fish smell. He found the stable. It is still relatively dry there, and the evaporation of horse manure and urine gives off a smoky heating. Horses, mules and donkeys are all chewing hay in their respective troughs. He saw no animals tied in front of the manger, so he climbed in and slept in a wooden manger like a newborn Jesus. The moonlight slanted in and drew a diagonal line separating light and shadow on the gable of the stable. The animal's head hangs down beside the manger, as if in Yue Bai. At this time, he suddenly felt very sad. The whole scene completely symbolically pointed out his lonely situation: people abandoned him and let him join the cow!
He cried. The narrow manger clamped his body, as if life were oppressing him from all sides. First abandoned by his father, then his mother died. My uncle took all my mother's things and left him alone. Later, I moved to the school dormitory and went to school with people's grants. The * * * Party took him in and the * * * Party's school educated him. In the cheerful atmosphere of the 1950s, although he had a withdrawn, sensitive and taciturn character cultivated by a deformed family, he gradually merged into a large group. Like all middle school students in the 1950s, he also has a beautiful dream for the future. After graduation, my dream came true. He walked into the classroom in a blue cloth uniform with a lesson preparation book and chalk. He has his own way of life. However, just because the secretary of the school branch wanted to catch the Rightists, he pushed him to his father. It seems that the physical blood relationship inevitably determines the inheritance of the class, and he has become a member of the bourgeoisie. In the past, the bourgeoisie abandoned him, leaving him only an "asset" on his resume. Later, people abandoned him and put on a rightist hat. He became a man abandoned by everyone and was exiled to this remote farm for reeducation through labor.
A horse ate the hay in front of him and came to him along the manger. It stuck its mouth to his head until the reins reached it. He felt a warm breath on his face. He saw a brown horse, its thick lips flapping on his head, looking for rice grains at the bottom of the trough. After a while, the brown horse also found him. But instead of being scared, he turned around and sniffed his head with his wet nose and wiped his face with his soft lips. This comfort made his heart tremble. He suddenly cried, holding his slender horse's head and wiping tears on its brown mane. Then he knelt down, crawled in the manger, desperately picked up the rice grains at the bottom of the manger and piled them in front of the brown horse.
Ah, father, where were you then?
three
Now, my father has finally come back!
This is not a dream, dad sleeps next door to him; This is not a dream. He really sleeps in a soft Simmons bed. He felt the mattress under him. How different it is from the hard wooden manger! Moonlight filtered through the tulle curtains, dropping diamond-shaped squares with blurred edges on carpets, sofas and beds. In the dim moonlight, the impression gained on this day was clearly presented at this moment, and the overall feeling he got was that he was completely unaccustomed to all this. Father came back, but this is a complete stranger. Father's return is just a painful memory. This broke his calm.
Although it is autumn, the room seems to be sultry. He simply lifted the blanket, rolled over and sat up, turned on the desk lamp and looked around with cold eyes. Finally, his eyes fell on himself. He saw muscular arms, varicose calves, feet with wide toes, yellow cocoons on palms and heels, and he remembered his father's conversation with him in the afternoon.
After drinking coffee in the afternoon, his father sent him to tell him about the company's overseas development, his half-brother's incompetence, and his yearning for him and his hometown. "... I can get a little comfort with you around. "My father said," Thirty years ago, I became more and more uneasy. I know that the mainland pays attention to family background and always engages in class struggle, and your life will not be easy. I even thought you had left. I always miss you. Your childhood appearance often appears in my mind. Especially when you were born, your grandfather hosted a soup and cake feast for you in the Overseas Chinese Guest House next to the Nanjing Foreign Ministry. I clearly remember you in your nurse's arms, just like yesterday. On this day, the Rong family, Liu Jia and British American Tobacco all came from Shanghai. You know, you are the eldest son of our family ... "
Now, when he looked at his naked and sturdy body under the light green lampshade, he suddenly had an extremely novel impression. Because it is the first time that I heard from my father the prehistoric period in my memory-my childhood scene, so my past self and my present self formed a very sharp contrast in my mind. Finally, he found the real gap between father and son: the eldest son of a well-fed family, who was once lavishly praised by business tycoons and their wives in Beijing and Shanghai, has now become a veritable laborer! And the whole process between these two ends is an ordinary labor with so much pain and joy! After he was released from reeducation through labor, because he was homeless, he was left on the farm to release his horse and became a herder. Early in the morning, as soon as the sun rose above Yang Shulin's head and the silver dew was still shining on the grass, he opened the fence. Cattle press their bellies against their bellies and their hips against their hips, scrambling to the grassland. The lark and the croaking chicken gave a cry of joy and panic and jumped out of the grass. They spread their wings, skimmed the horse's back and shot at Yang Shulin like arrows. He rode a horse, galloping on the grass marked by the horse as dark green, as if he had jumped into the embrace of nature at once. There is a swamp on the grassland, covered with slender reeds. Cattle are scattered among reeds, holding tender grass with wide and flexible lips. Outside the swamp, I can only hear their incessant snorting and rushing water. He lay on the slope of the mound and looked up at the sky. Snow-white and silver clouds are constantly changing like life. The wind blew over the grass tip and the surface of the swamp, and the fresh moisture, the smell of horse sweat and the smell of nature wiped his whole body from head to toe, giving him an extremely cordial and comfortable feeling. He stretched out his arms and tilted his head to his armpit. He can smell his own sweat and the breath of life mixed with natural breath. This feeling of joy is very wonderful. Can arouse his endless reverie, he has melted into the wind in the wilderness; He is everywhere, but he has lost his uniqueness. His depression, his sadness, and his grievance against fate also disappeared, replaced by his love for life and nature.
At noon, the horse emerged from the reeds, with a round belly and mane all over, wagging its tail to drive away flies and flies. They gathered around him confidentially and intimately, looking at their shepherd with big kind eyes. Sometimes, the No.7 horse with white spots will bypass a few thin animals, quietly walk to the lame 100 and tease it with his sparse lips. 100 didn't show weakness, but turned his ass and bounced back with a lame leg that didn't touch the ground. No.7 horse quickly dodged, held his head high, and turned around among the horses, like a naughty child playing the game of losing his handkerchief, splashing silver water. Every time at this time, he would pick up the whip and scold sharply. Therefore, all the horses will prick up their ears and cast a reproachful look at No.7 horse. No.7 horse also quieted down, standing in the knee-deep swamp like a scolded pupil, with his lips stuck up and his long front teeth bored. At this time, he will feel that he is not living among a group of animals, but surrounded by a group of psychic gods like a prince in a fairy tale.
In the midday sun, in the distance, the clouds at the foot of the mountain move slowly; In the swamp, a water bird named "Buffalo" also felt hot and began to coo on the reed root with its mouth. There are not only the vastness of cattle and sheep, but also the beauty of green mountains and green waters. The motherland, such an abstract concept, will be condensed in this limited space, showing all its magnificent forms. He felt satisfied: life is beautiful after all! Nature and labor have given him many things that he can't get in class. Sometimes, showers will fall on the grassland. First of all, it will drop rain feet as transparent as curtains made of black gauze on the hillside, turn the bright sunshine into pleasing golden yellow and sprinkle it on the vast grassland. Then, the feet of the rain slowly fluttered with the wind and moved down the hillside. After a while, the raindrops as big as beans fell obliquely, and the whole grassland was like a piece of white smoke. Before that, he must drive the grazing horses to the forest. He rode on a horse, holding a whip, spreading his skirt like wings, running around the horse in the face of the rain, scolding and commanding the stray horse. Then, he will feel that his body is full of hot power, not insignificant and useless; In the mild wind, rain and gathering gnats, he gradually recovered his confidence in himself.
Only at this time can the shepherds of each team get together and build shelter for them, like a boat moored on a poplar tree and in a white rain fog. The hut was cool and humid, filled with the smoke of inferior tobacco. He listened to the humorous dialogue and rude banter of the herdsmen and was surprised that they didn't have his complicated feelings and sensitive new experience of working life. It turns out that they are simple and simple; Although life is hard, they are always satisfied with happiness. He began to envy them.
Once, an old herder in his sixties asked him, "People say you are a rightist. What do you mean by Rightists? " He bowed his head in shame and said, "Rightists … Rightists are people who have made mistakes." "Rightists were people who told some truth in 1957." The herdsmen in team 7 said, "In that year, the whole team was full of scholars." The herdsman in team 7 is a straightforward person, and he is always joking. People call him "Guo Zhui Zi".
"To tell the truth is to make mistakes. If you don't tell the truth, the world will be in chaos. " The old herder smoked a cigarette pot and said thoughtfully, "Anyway, working is better than being a cadre. I'm almost seventy, blind, deaf, bent, eating fried beans ... ""So you have to work in the next life! " ""Guo Tiaozi "interrupted him with a smile.
"What happened to working in the next life?" The old herdsman solemnly said, "Without labor, no one can live, no one can be an official, and no one can learn ..."
This kind of short, simple, intermittent words, often like a rainbow after the rain, will arouse a good feeling in his heart, making him eager to return to ordinary simplicity and get that kind of happy satisfaction like them.
In the long-term physical labor and the constant material transformation between man and nature, he gradually developed a fixed living habit. Habit stubbornly shapes him according to his own model. Over time, everything in the past faded into a vague dream, as if reading other people's stories from books. His memory was also broken by this fixed living habit and completely different lifestyle. Life in a big city has become illusory, and only now is it real. Finally, he became a man who was suitable for living in this land and could only live in this land: he became a real herder! In the year when the "Cultural Revolution" began, people had already forgotten his past. It was only at the stage of fanaticism that someone remembered that he was still a Rightist and needed to be pulled out for public display. But at this time, several teams of herders gathered in the shack. After some discussion, they insisted that the grass under the slope was not good, greeted the field department and drove all the animals to the hillside. Of course he will follow, because no revolutionary masses are willing to give up the revolution to replace his errand, which has been unable to go home for several months. The shepherd helped him put the simple luggage on the horse's back, rode on it and strolled away from the noisy place. On the way, the shepherd shouted happily, "Go! Let's go up the mountain, no matter who their mother marries! " One by one, they blew sharp whistles and kept making short shouts, so that the horseshoes raised clouds of yellow dust on the road. In the distance, it is the grassland crystal clear as jade on the hillside ... On this day, he will always be regarded as an extremely special warmth, so deeply left in his memory.
With his pain, his happiness and his experience in all aspects of life, without the contrast with pain, his happiness will be eclipsed and worthless. Last spring, he was suddenly called back to the field from the grass on the mountain. He walked into the office nervously, with the sign of "Political Department" hanging on his straw hat. Deputy Director Dong read him a document, and then told him that he had been wrongly classified as a Rightist in the past, but now he has corrected it, and he will be assigned to teach in a farm school. Deputy Director Dong's face was solemn and expressionless. An early fly buzzes in the office, stopping on the wall and filing cabinet. Deputy director dong's eyes wandered around with it. Holding a magazine in his hand, he is eager to try.
"You go, go to the next room and find Director Pan to get the transfer order, and report to the school tomorrow." The fly finally landed on the table, and the magazine snapped, but the fly flew away slyly, and Deputy Director Dong sat down in the chair in disappointment. "Later can want to do a good job, can't make mistakes. □! "
He was stunned by the sudden arrival, so that he was in a state of half-stupidity and half-stupidity like being electrocuted. In understanding, he can't fully understand the significance of this correction in the political life of the country and the fundamental change in his own life; He can't even imagine such a day. But intuitively, his happiness is growing. A pure happy mood, like alcohol in the blood vessels, begins to turn semi-stupidity into excitement and dizziness. First, my throat was dry, then my whole body trembled slightly, and finally tears poured out uncontrollably, and there was a deep cry in my chest that echoed in the valley. This scene touched Deputy Director Dong, who looked serious and deadpan, and extended his hand to him. He held Deputy Director Dong's hand in both hands. At this time, he began to have a vague hope for the future.
From then on, he put on a blue cloth uniform, took a lesson preparation book with him, and walked into the classroom with chalk, restoring the beautiful dream of 22 years ago. Farm workers are not rich, children are mostly in rags, and the classroom is filled with sweat, dust and dry sunshine. The children stared at him with naive eyes behind a simple desk, but they didn't expect a cowherd boy to become their teacher. But he quickly convinced the children. He did not make any special contribution; He can't even imagine that he is serving socialism and the "four modernizations". He thinks it's a sign of heroism. He is just doing his duty in his post. However, in this way, he was also respected by the children. On the morning when he came to Beijing, he saw children standing on the school road in droves looking at his carriage. Probably they also heard that he found his father in a foreign country and will go abroad with his rich father. They all resisted the impulse to say goodbye, silently watching his carriage cross the Junken Bridge, cross the Yang Shulin and disappear into the wasteland ... Sometimes, shepherds would visit him from more than ten miles away. The old herder is now in his early eighties, and his legs and feet are still strong. He sat on the kang, holding Ling Jun's Dictionary of Modern Chinese in his hand, stroking and saying, "He is still a learned man who can read such a thick book. I am afraid it will take a lifetime! " "This is a dictionary to look up words," Guo told him. "You are so confused!" "Yes, I have lived all my life. I have been blind all my life. I don't even know the name when I watch a movie. I just watched a figure move. " Herdsmen lament that this new era has cultural needs. "Everything must have culture. Last time I gave medicine to animals, I almost gave it to animals for external use. " "Guo Zhui Zi" said, "Old friend, you have come out of our pile. We are finished, and our children can be entrusted to you ... ""Yes, "said the old shepherd. "You taught my little grandson to read such a thick book, didn't you fail to live up to the friendship that our poor brothers rolled out on the grassland ..."
These unpalatable words vividly illustrate the significance of his work and make his hopes for the future more clear. He smelled the horse sweat on them, the juicy grass and the strong smell of nature; What they brought him was such a familiar and cordial feeling, which was completely different from all the depressive feelings when he was with his father and Miss Song.
He saw his own value in their eyes, in the eyes of students and in the eyes of comrades who worked with him. What can be more precious and happier than seeing your own value in the eyes of others?
Because there are still some that can't be sent, so you'd better give me your email number, and I can send it to you ~ ~