Interpersonal relationship is the main factor affecting the healthy development of individual personality. The so-called interpersonal relationship is "the relationship between group members established through various communication methods on the basis of * * * activities." It is a psychological relationship regulated by individual personality characteristics, accompanied by satisfaction and dissatisfaction. "The quality of interpersonal relationship is a comprehensive reflection of a person's social adaptability and healthy personality. A healthy personality is always accompanied by a healthy interpersonal relationship. Psychologists Maslow, allport and Rogers all regard the establishment of appropriate and good interpersonal relationships as the ability that a person with healthy personality should possess. The new psychoanalytic theory also believes that mental illness is mainly due to the imbalance of interpersonal relationships. Therefore, harmonious interpersonal relationship is not only a reflection of personality level, but also affects and restricts the formation and development of healthy personality. People with healthy personality can actively communicate with others and establish good and constructive interpersonal relationships; People with personality disorders and defects often lack stable and good interpersonal relationships. After entering the university, college students are faced with a new environment and new groups, and interpersonal communication is becoming more and more frequent and complicated. To integrate all kinds of relationships, it has become their new life content to deal with the relationships with people they associate with. However, because they come from different regions and different families, they live with their classmates day and night with their own way of life, thinking and behavior, which leads to frequent interpersonal conflicts and becomes the main factor of psychological problems. Through psychological consultation and written investigation, Li discussed the causes of college students' mental illness, and found that interpersonal communication among college students is in a very prominent position among the disturbing factors, which is the first major problem in college students' campus life. The research of Zhao and Chen Youzhen also proves that interpersonal relationship is in the forefront of all kinds of psychological problems in college students' consultation. Hebei University conducted a survey on the interpersonal relationship of college students among more than 200 students from 12 universities. The survey shows that interpersonal relationship is one of the most distressing and intractable problems faced by college students, which is mainly manifested in interpersonal barriers, jealousy, inferiority and social fear. In the practice of mental health education, we also find that most students' psychological problems are related to the lack of normal interpersonal communication and good interpersonal relationships. Those college students who live without friendly, cooperative and harmonious interpersonal relationships show the characteristics of depression, sensitivity, self-defense and difficulty in cooperation. Harmonious interpersonal relationship is not only an indispensable condition for college students' personality health, but also the main way for college students to obtain mental health. Supplement: 1. The concrete manifestation of the influence of interpersonal relationship on the healthy development of college students' personality 1. Different interpersonal relationships will make college students form different personality traits. Generally speaking, college students with good interpersonal relationships can adapt to college life quickly, and they are cheerful and confident. When getting along with others, treat people sincerely, fairly, modestly and tolerantly, maintain a cheerful personality and a positive attitude towards life, and have good personality traits such as kindness, helpfulness, compassion, social responsibility and sense of justice. On the other hand, college students with poor interpersonal relationships show some bad personality traits, such as being suspicious, sensitive, narrow-minded, short-sighted, self-centered and arrogant. Give yourself great psychological and mental pressure, and even lead to morbid psychology. 2. Affect the correct self-evaluation of college students. Interpersonal relationship affects college students' self-evaluation. Self-evaluation reflects the development level of individual self-awareness and is the psychological basis of sound personality. Correct self-evaluation is gradually developed and matured through mutual learning, mutual help and mutual influence in the process of communicating with others. College students' correct evaluation of themselves is developed in their communication with classmates and in dealing with various interpersonal relationships, and they can adjust and correct themselves. College students with good interpersonal relationships can properly evaluate themselves, always feel that they are liked, accepted and recognized by others, meet their psychological needs of belonging and security, have a good sense of self-esteem, believe in their own values, accept themselves and promote the healthy development of their personality. College students who lack good interpersonal relationships either show inferiority and abandon themselves, don't believe in their own abilities, deny their own values, only see their own shortcomings, feel inferior everywhere, suppress their energy release, self-conflict, self-contradiction, and even have an inferiority complex that hates themselves; Or show aloof, pretentious, condescending, arrogant, unable to handle interpersonal relationships, which has a negative impact on the healthy development of personality. 3. Factors affecting the emotional health of college students Meng, a famous psychologist in China, believes that "emotion plays a central role in psychopathy. Emotional abnormality is often a harbinger of mental illness. " Good emotions and feelings between people are not only the glue of social communication and the lubricating oil of interpersonal communication, but also an important factor affecting the healthy development of personality. College students are rich in emotions and have a strong need for emotional communication, hoping to tell others their joys and sorrows, so different interpersonal relationships lead to different psychological feelings and experiences. College students with good interpersonal relationships have a high degree of emotional satisfaction, peace of mind, serenity and happiness. He added that people and the collective have a sense of closeness and attachment, are calm when things go wrong, can properly express their emotions, have good control and venting of bad emotions, and have strong emotional adjustment and control ability, which can promote the healthy development of personality. College students with poor interpersonal relationships can't express and control their emotions correctly, and are prone to negative emotions such as anxiety, tension, fear and anger, and they are hostile and dissatisfied with others and the collective, and are often in the experience of various negative emotions. 4. Affect the learning adaptation of college students. Interpersonal relationship affects college students' learning adaptation after entering school. According to Feng Tingyong's research, the main factors affecting college students' learning adaptation are learning ability, environmental factors, teaching mode and social activities. Among them, in the study of college students, social factors have significantly increased the role of college students' learning adaptation. Second, the strategies for college students to establish good interpersonal relationships. Personal growth and development depend on interpersonal relationships. If college students can live in a United, friendly and harmonious interpersonal atmosphere, they can have a sense of security, belonging and happiness, and they can correctly understand and treat various practical problems in their study and life and resolve various contradictions. For a long time, our school education not only lacks the teaching of relevant knowledge to students, but also lacks the cultivation of students' ability to establish good interpersonal relationships. Most of the students' ability to deal with interpersonal relationships is naturally formed and developed, which leads to poor communication skills and interpersonal skills, so that students don't know how to get along with others, communicate and communicate. Therefore, it is of great practical significance to improve college students' interpersonal skills, master effective strategies to establish good interpersonal relationships and promote their healthy personality development. Supplement: 1. Actively practice. Mastering the skills of building good interpersonal relationships is both an ability and a skill. If college students want to have stable, good and constructive interpersonal relationships, they need to master the skills of establishing good interpersonal relationships, namely: first, active communication. In the process of communication, we should overcome all kinds of bad psychology in communication, such as fear, shyness, inferiority, pride, suspicion, etc., actively communicate and optimize interpersonal relationships. Second, pay attention to social etiquette, master communicative language correctly, and be good at using non-verbal skills. In communication, on the one hand, grasp your own role, cultivate humorous language and learn to listen to others' speeches; On the other hand, we should also use the skills of eyes, posture, tone and distance to achieve the purpose of establishing good interpersonal relationships. Third, pay attention to the charm of personal appearance. Appearance charm is also one of the factors to enhance interpersonal attraction, and being in a beautiful environment will make people feel happy and pleasing to the eye. Therefore, college students should pay attention to improving their aesthetic taste, combine noble soul with beautiful external body, form good temperament and elegant demeanor, and make individuals full of charm. 2. Strengthen self-education. Molding good personality traits, different personality traits affect the establishment and development of interpersonal relationships. Some personality characteristics easily lead to interpersonal attraction, which is conducive to the establishment, maintenance and development of good interpersonal relationships. For example, generosity and frankness will make others feel relaxed and comfortable, and stimulate their communication motivation; Helpful, honest and selfless, decisive and confident will win the trust of others. Some personality traits easily hinder interpersonal attraction, such as: moral corruption, selfishness, hypocrisy and cunning, anger, fear, jealousy, arrogance, loneliness, excessive inferiority and so on. College students should actively strengthen self-education, pay attention to the cultivation of good personal qualities, and start from the little things around them. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" and "No small things can make a big deal". Good personal qualities are accumulated bit by bit and gradually accumulated into good personality habits. This is conducive to the establishment of good interpersonal relationships. Supplement: 3. Learning to appreciate others, overcoming social deviation and appreciating others is an important strategy to establish good interpersonal relationships. College students should be good at discovering the value of others, learn to appreciate others, be good at overcoming the adverse effects of social deviation such as first impression, stereotype and halo effect, be not demanding of others, treat others sincerely, be tolerant, respect their personality and rights, actively create a relaxed interpersonal environment, realize psychological compatibility, and create a good environment for the healthy development of personality. 4. Managing your emotional health is the embodiment of mental health, and it also marks the maturity of your personality. "People who experience rich emotions and control emotional expression are usually people who have the ability to meet their basic needs and have stable and reliable interpersonal relationships." Therefore, in order to establish a good interpersonal relationship, we must attach importance to people's emotional factors and make them a positive factor to enhance interpersonal relationships. The specific strategies are: first, learn to adjust rationally. When interpersonal conflicts occur, you should learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Only in this way can we be welcomed and accepted by others. Second, reasonable drainage. Too many negative emotions will do great harm to physical and mental health. When we have various negative emotions such as sadness, anger, self-blame, guilt, depression and anxiety due to interpersonal relationships, we should take reasonable ways to release them. There are several reasonable ways to vent: talk, for example, talk to someone close to you, write to yourself or keep a diary. Transfer methods, such as exercise, singing loudly, dancing to the fullest, etc. In short, only by learning to adjust scientifically can we turn negative emotions into positive and constructive actions and promote the establishment of good interpersonal relationships. 5. Give full play to the advantages of group counseling to promote the healthy development of college students' personality. Group psychological counseling combines college students with different backgrounds, personalities and experiences, providing each participating college student with an opportunity to observe and analyze others' thoughts and emotional reactions from multiple angles, so that college students can know themselves and others more clearly, form a positive self-concept, and adjust and improve their relationship with others. Therefore, consultation can effectively improve the ability of college students to establish good interpersonal relationships.