These words came from Liang Qichao, not from a young couple.
Who would have thought that Liang Qichao, a thinker, revolutionary and politician who fought to the death, was like a spoiled child in front of his children?
Liang Qichao said that you can never have too much love for your children.
His nine children all became outstanding talents because they enjoyed "too much love". Among them, architect Liang Sicheng, archaeologist Liang Siyong and space expert Liang were elected as academicians of China Academy of Sciences.
There are only three academicians in China's academic history, and there are only a handful in the world's scientific history. Therefore, Liang Jia is known as "the first elite family in China" and Liang Qichao is also known as "the first person in family education in China".
How does he love children?
one
Love is showing: sound, breathing, no dignity.
Liang Qichao's love for children can be seen from the title. He gave each child a nickname, and more than one person:
Call the eldest daughter Si Shun "Big Baby", "Xian Er", "Baby Si Shun" and "Shun Er", give the fourth aunt the nickname Sima Yi, call the fourth strong strong strong, call the fourth middle school "loyal", call the fourth big one "Dada", call Sining "Liu Liu" and call the child Gigi Lai "Lao Liu".
At that time, especially in large families, few parents called their children that way. However, these friendly nicknames are almost disgusting. Liang Qichao grew up shouting loudly and never ignored his father's majestic image. When the children are in their thirties, Liang Qichao will still start his letter like this: "Dabao Besson, Bao Xiaobei Silang, and two less precious darlings" and "a large group of children on the other side".
When children grow up to study abroad, Liang Qichao never forgets to express his concern through letters, and the children are anxiously looking forward to letters from their parents. Liang Qichao is very diligent in writing letters. In his letter1October 22nd1928,65438, he said, "You children are so spoiled that you pout for three weeks without hearing from me. It is not surprising that international students can't receive letters from home for two or three months. "
He not only wrote letters to children, but also wrote banners for his daughters, framed them into small scrolls and sent them. Liang Qichao sent a thousand miles of laughter to Sizhuang. The first picture in it is Liang Qichao's beautiful brush: a funny poem by the old man in the icehouse and a letter to his beloved daughter. The second small letter reads: "Little Baby Zhuangzhuang: I miss your cruelty, so I give you this exquisite hand scroll. Where is your sister? She is too old to rob you, but you should be careful of your two naughty brothers. They will be angry. Please put it away quickly, cutie. May 13, ugly b, dad sends love. "
It is said that China people are reserved and restrained, and Liang Qichao is just a "negative textbook", showing true feelings and full of love for their children. This unrestrained mood is not that the child is spoiled, but that the child "coddles" his father.
No.4 Middle School once wrote a long letter of six pieces of paper to his father, teaching him how to take care of his health. Liang Qichao "complained" and said, "What a pleasant night! Hey? Borage mace mold? Confess? Little hope? Hey hey hey hey hey hey. What is the enthalpy of aphid B? Male ⑿ model? Look, I am anxious to swallow the enemy's evil spirits, sparrow! ? /p & gt；
Liang Qichao listed "emotional education" with "intellectual education" and "intentional education" as three major aspects of life education. In "emotional education", the first thing is to cultivate family ties. He said: "The most sacred thing in the world is emotion. To be honest, we should put emotional education first. " After the turbulent irrigation of love, the family has formed an atmosphere of filial piety, friendship and respect.
(1934, Liang Sining, Liang Siyi, Liang and Liang Sida (from left) are in front of the "Ice Room" in Tianjin. )
two
Love is single-minded: "making a big noise" Xu Zhimo's wedding
Today, many young people become attached through blind date, but they don't know that Liang Qichao is the founder of the blind date model!
The avant-garde Liang Qichao knows the harm of "arranged marriage" When children talk about marriage, they are determined not to engage in the old routine of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words". So he explored an "ideal marriage system" combining tradition and modernity-"parents choose, children decide", which is called "blind date" today.
The marriage between Liang Sicheng and Lin was "carefully planned" by Liang Qichao.
In a letter to Si Shun, he wrote: "I am extremely proud of your marriage. I think my method is excellent. Good boy, what do you think of Xizhe? I have a good eye. Yin Hui is my second success. I hope your brothers and sisters will be like this in the future. This is the last responsibility of parents to their children. "
Liang Qichao was keen on freedom of marriage, but resolutely opposed chaos. There was a confidante named He who showed his love to Liang Qichao three times, but he explicitly refused because he had a wife and a family. Therefore, he used the same standards to ask children to be emotionally responsible and single-minded.
Liang Qichao was very dissatisfied with the marriage between Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman. Interestingly, Liang Qichao was invited to be a witness. At the wedding, he published an alternative "wedding words", which surprised the guests present:
"Xu Zhimo! You are impetuous, so you have no achievements in your studies. You are not an expert in relationships, so you divorced and remarried. Lu Xiaoman! You should be serious and try your best to be a woman. You must not interfere in Xu Zhimo's career in the future. You've all been through this, divorced and remarried, and you're all sentimental. You should repent and turn over a new leaf in the future! May this be your last marriage! This is my congratulations to you! -I'm finished. "
Xu Zhimo is Liang Qichao's favorite pupil. He said this because he hoped that Xu Zhimo could be responsible for his marriage and have a happy family, which was well-intentioned.
The next day, Liang Qichao wrote this "lecture" to overseas children. He wrote: "I am a person with the strongest feelings, but I can always calm it down with reason, so I will not be influenced by feelings, ruin my body and hinder my career." Under the influence of the father's view on marriage, the children are very rational and loyal to love and have a happy family.
(Liang Sicheng, the eldest son of Liang Qichao, took a photo with his wife Lin)
three
Love is respect: let children do what they like.
Someone asked Liang Qichao, "What do you believe in?"
Liang Qichao replied: "I believe in fun."
Enthusiasm is one of Liang Qichao's most important educational thoughts, so Liang Qichao will carefully observe the characteristics of each child, teach students in accordance with their aptitude and respect their professional interests.
After studying at McGill University for one year, it's time for Zhuang to choose a major. Considering that modern biology was still blank in China at that time, Liang Qichao hoped that she would study this major. Zhuang obeyed his father's wishes, but learned to learn. When Zhuang found that she was not interested in biology, she was very depressed and told her eldest brother about it.
After Liang Qichao knew it, he regretted it very much and was deeply uneasy about his guidance. He quickly wrote to Zhuang, "Don't insist on what Dad said."
Later, Zhuang changed to a very unpopular library science and was admitted to Columbia Library College, eventually becoming a famous library scientist in China.
No.4 middle school wants to take the road of military and political affairs. Liang Qichao was hospitalized for a period of time, and No.4 Middle School was very anxious. He broke out in a sweat, then caught a cold and fell ill for a few days after returning to school.
Liang Qichao joked: "Loyalty and righteousness are really worthless. You are so timid and call yourself a general." Nevertheless, after consideration, he still supports No.4 Middle School to study politics in the United States.
After returning to China, No.4 Middle School became an artillery colonel of the National Revolutionary Army and made outstanding achievements in the Battle of Songhu.
Cheng Si learned about the architectural history of China unpopular at that time, and Si Yong also learned more about unpopular archaeology. Both brothers later became academicians of China Academy of Sciences, and the rest of their children became elites from all walks of life in China, which showed Liang Qichao's unique, profound and broad academic vision.
Liang Qichao believes that the cause is not big or small, and it is respectable to do one thing. In children's professional study, he will consider the long-term, but must take the interests of children as the first principle. He said in the article "Interest in Learning": "Ordinary people must live in interest forever, and life is valuable."
(After the Shenzhou 5 manned spacecraft was successfully launched, Liang took a group photo with five Chinese astronauts, including Yang Liwei. )
four
Love is tolerance: achievement is not just a moment.
Liang Qichao is very concerned about his children's studies and tries his best to give them quality education, but he is "very concerned" about his academic performance.
The stronghold had planned to take an examination of foreign universities. In order to adapt to studying abroad, she needs to make up her English. But she failed in several tests. Liang Qichao did not blame her. Instead, he comforted her and said, "Never mind, don't be complacent. Learning depends on me. I believe that you will all work hard on your own. It is not just a matter of time to calculate the total score in the future. "
When Si Zhuang was preparing to enter the famous McGill University in Canada, Liang Qichao once again advised her: "What does it matter if she can't enter the university? Reading does not require a diploma. The thicker the wall, the better. If you see that other students are going to college, you will worry yourself. This is' naivety'. It doesn't matter if you fail in the exam this year. Because it has been improved for a year, it is also appropriate to miss class. Good boy, don't worry, just do it well. "
Without oppression or blame, Zhuang, who was entrusted by his father, was finally admitted to McGill University.
Liang Qichao can be relieved, and naturally there is another reason, that is, he is convinced that children "will study hard by themselves." This conscious learning attitude was also repeatedly emphasized by Liang Qichao in his family life.
He often teaches children to have a dedicated and hard-working attitude, "only pay attention to training, don't ask about harvest." He pays attention to creating conditions and atmosphere in the family. During his exile in Japan, he personally studied with a teacher, specially invited a tutor to teach "Mathematical Science" and built a laboratory at home.
five
Love is powerful: don't be surprised, smile at life.
Liang Qichao lived only 56 years old and experienced ups and downs in his life, but "repeated ups and downs are exactly the tempering of a person." In his life, he was not shocked and humiliated, and he was enthusiastic and optimistic all his life, setting an example for his children to sharpen their will.
After Lin's father died, Liang Qichao wrote to Sicheng and his overseas children many times, emphasizing that "people are born with fear, knowing that they are helpless, and if they are safe, it is the first key to their survival" and "they must always maintain this vigorous spirit before they can have a future career".
When he was seriously ill in his later years, he pointed out that "a person can cure any disease, and only' pessimistic disease' is the most incurable. Pessimism is the biggest poison that corrodes people's hearts. "
In the most difficult period, he still insisted on "fun": "I have been doing what I do with relish and interest all my life. In my dictionary, I can say that there is no such thing as pessimism. What I do often fails, but I always fail at the same time. Because I am not only interesting in success, but also interesting in failure. "
This optimism has been passed on to the children.
During their stay in War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression, Si Cheng and Si Yong traveled a long way to the southwest and lived a very hard life in the remote and isolated village of Lizhuang, Sichuan. Liang Sicheng and Lin were still seriously ill, and when there was really no money available at home, Sicheng had to pawn his clothes to make a living, and "ate" Parker's pen and watch. He also joked: "stew" this watch! Can this dress be stewed?
Liang Qichao's granddaughter wrote in the book Liang Qichao and His Children: "Their father's aura did not protect them. They have experienced all the hardships experienced by intellectuals in China, but they have withstood all kinds of tests and faced life with a smile. This is a precious biography written by Liang Qichao for their children. "
We often worry about "spoiling" our children. True love is never just satisfying, but teaching him good qualities. Just like Liang Qichao said, "Dad loves you dearly, but he never indulges in it. He has always hoped that you can temper your character in difficulties and obstacles. "
It is natural and the most beautiful emotion for parents to love their children. Love itself will give children the ability to reflect on themselves. If parents give their children more warmth and teach them more excellent qualities, they will paint a warm background in their hearts and let them put themselves in their shoes and treat their parents and others in the same way.
You can never have too much love for your children.
This is the whole secret of "the first person in family education in China".