University, new beginning, new starting point, everything is new. In this new place, we will meet all kinds of people and we will deal with these different people. People are gregarious animals, and one of the remarkable characteristics of human beings is the group. As early as the primitive society, our ancestors lived in groups and hunted together for a living. Group life is inseparable from individual interaction. In social communication, people have all kinds of contacts, thus forming interpersonal relationships. In interpersonal communication, we don't communicate with one person unilaterally, but with many people, so we can't avoid some conceptual conflicts caused by differences in values, living habits and traditions. In the animal kingdom, animals will compete for its leading position in this population by their own strength, and will be constantly challenged by male companions. Our ancestors also determined their leadership through physics when they lived in groups. These are all communication problems. Among today's college students, we also have many problems that cannot be ignored, which seriously affect our college life.

First of all, I think the most prominent problems in college students' interpersonal communication are self-centeredness, excessive self-pursuit, over-emphasis on personal rights and interests, emphasis on others' recognition, understanding and acceptance of themselves, failure to look at problems from the other side's standpoint, emphasis on realizing their own goals while ignoring the interests and requirements of others, strong subjectivity in people's views on things, and always saying "I think ... I think ...". Therefore, in the process of getting along with classmates, friends and teachers, we often look at others with a "self-centered" mentality and ask others, rarely knowing their thoughts and feelings. Because of the lack of consciousness and behavior of cooperation with others, and the lack of empathy in communication, it is difficult to complete team work. We can often see this in class activities in universities. Some people always use something as an excuse not to participate in class activities. Many college students always take their own thoughts, feelings and needs as the starting point and don't understand the feelings of others, which makes it difficult for some college students to really adapt to the university environment and collective life.

Secondly, the second biggest problem affecting college students' communication is inferiority complex. People who feel inferior always feel that others look down on them. In fact, in his mind, he is worried that others will look down on himself, which is essentially that he looks down on himself, that is, he lacks self-confidence. In Hohhot Normal University, most students' families are not particularly well-off. However, everyone loves face and wants to be better than others, so it is easy to feel inferior. College students with inferiority complex often lack self-confidence and are timid in communication. Complain about others when you encounter a little setback, and be afraid of being despised and laughed at by others. People with low self-esteem are generally sensitive and like to close themselves up and cover up their true thoughts and feelings. In severe cases, they don't trust anyone, and they are deeply wary and cut off communication with others. Most students think that it is relatively easy to maintain a harmonious relationship with classmates in interpersonal relationships, but it is difficult to make intimate friends with others. Self-enclosed people build a psychological barrier between themselves and society, classes and classmates, which affects their study and work and hinders their all-round development. In fact, people who feel inferior are not necessarily low in ability, but tend to think too much. In communication, they always want their image to be perfect and are afraid of being frustrated or rejected by others. This mentality makes people with low self-esteem tend to be timid in their usual interpersonal communication and can't fully show their elegance.

Furthermore, another problem in college students' interpersonal communication is that they are weak in emotional self-control and impulsive. The family planning policy stipulates that each couple can only have one child, which will inevitably lead to the family's excessive doting on this child and make the child lack understanding, tolerance and forbearance. Once he doesn't like what others are doing or listening to what others are saying, he immediately retorts without mercy. Moreover, college students are in a specific psychological development period, eager for material and spiritual independence, mature but not fully mature, weak self-control, impulsive, thoughtless, quarreling and fighting. All these lead to a small thing, once the two sides are humble, they can live in peace. However, some college students tend to be impulsive, and they have to fight for a high level and make a big fuss about things.

Then, another problem that affects college students' interpersonal communication is social fear and avoidance of communication. With the development and popularization of network information technology, people can communicate more conveniently, but another convenience also alienates the relationship between people. Many college students prefer to talk about their troubles to strangers online, rather than telling their family and friends in real life. Moreover, some college students are very timid in real life, so they turn to the virtual world to seek comfort and satisfaction, find emotional outlets, and coldly face the realistic interpersonal environment, forming a vicious circle, leading to more addiction to the network, divorced from reality, and finally leading to retreat and loneliness.

There are many reasons for these problems, one of which is family. Most contemporary college students are only children, and they are spoiled by their parents since childhood. They are used to the whole family accommodating themselves, forming a self-centered concept and lacking the consciousness of accommodating, understanding, caring and accommodating others. Since childhood, I have been protected and bound by my parents too much, lacking exercise opportunities and courage to solve problems alone, and my psychological endurance is poor. I am at a loss about many problems in communication with people. Frustration in interpersonal communication and differences in economic conditions have led some college students to shrink back pessimistically, which has also become an obstacle to communication among college students.

The second reason is the influence of social factors. Under the market economy system, the increasing competition leads to alienation of interpersonal relationship and indifference of human feelings, resulting in obstacles to interpersonal communication. The status of money and wealth in people's ideas has been improved, and their materialistic and utilitarian consciousness is strong, which makes people unconsciously produce the ideology of being too poor and loving the rich and pursuing fame and fortune. College students are more open-minded and easy to accept new ideas, new concepts and new things. Therefore, utilitarian consciousness is more obvious in college students' interpersonal communication. People pay more attention to their own interests and neglect to respect and protect the interests of others. Think of yourself first, so that the relationship between college students becomes cold and distant.

The third reason is the influence of communication tools. In the past, people liked to visit relatives and friends to contact feelings or write letters. Now, with the progress of science and technology, people can communicate with each other without leaving home. Nowadays, mobile phones and computers have become people's necessities. The network has broken the time and space restrictions of communication, and many college students are very dependent on the network. Shopping, making friends, entertainment, etc. It's all done online. While rapidly transmitting knowledge and information and providing entertainment games, the network also provides a place for college students to vent their bad emotions, seek spiritual sustenance and escape from real life. Modern means of communication are always cold tools, which cannot replace people's most primitive communication tools-language and writing, resulting in the decline of college students' communication ability and self-isolation of interpersonal relationships.

The last and most important reason is the college students' own factors. College students' psychology is not yet fully mature, their social experience is shallow, their ideas are simple, they are easily influenced by external things and their psychological endurance is poor. Self-knowledge, self-evaluation and self-education are mostly based on learning and often overestimate themselves. Therefore, when dealing with the relationship between classmates, it is easy to be confused and delusional, and it is easy to be hit. In addition, under the protection of parents, they can't adapt to the new environment well and lack a correct understanding of themselves, which will also affect the interpersonal communication of college students.

If you want to have a good interpersonal relationship, you must know the problems existing in your interpersonal communication, so as to get along with the countermeasures to solve them. First of all, we should have a clear overall understanding of interpersonal communication in universities and regard universities as a whole. We are all individuals, we all have personalities, we all have personalities. Therefore, we should adhere to the principle of seeking common ground while reserving differences, grasp the similarities in our interpersonal communication and respect the differences between others and us. Communication is equal. Only by respecting others can others respect themselves. Secondly, we should treat the relationship rationally. Sometimes your efforts may not be rewarded accordingly. Don't expect everyone to be your bosom friend. We must avoid the psychological imbalance caused by unequal return on investment. Finally, we must treat each other sincerely in our communication. The personality characteristics of college students determine that the basis of their interpersonal communication can only be personality equality and honesty. Generally speaking, only by opening your heart sincerely can you enter the spiritual world of others. When you make a friendly gesture to show your support or acceptance to others, he will have a desire to communicate in his heart and will repay your friendly behavior.

Interpersonal communication in college life is a compulsory course, which not only enriches our college life, but also benefits our future work life. Being good at talking with people, being happy together and being integrated into the group will often bring ideological communication, emotional harmony and interpersonal stability.