The so-called "raising a daughter is like raising flowers", first of all, we should love our daughter and care for her like raising flowers, but at the same time, we should also give her scientific care so that the care and care of parents will not become a burden for children's growth. My biggest experience is as follows.
First, parents should not blindly compare their children with "other people's children".
Just like every flower has its own habits and characteristics, its own flowering period, its own color and smell, and every child has its own personality and specialty. Simply comparing one's own children with other people's children will only produce a kind of complacency of "my children are the best" or anxiety of "my children are very bad". We treat the child's shortcomings calmly and give her appropriate guidance; We should also treat the children's achievements in their growth calmly, appreciate them and encourage them. In this way, children's intolerance can be eliminated to the maximum extent, so that children can get the greatest sense of security and their inner anxiety will be the lowest.
The second is to respect children's personality and follow the laws of education.
I bought a pot of green radish. The green leaves are lovely. In order to make it grow better, I moved it to the balcony to receive more light. However, the original green and shiny leaves gradually became thin and yellow. Before late autumn, the original lush leaves were sparse. At first I thought it was a lack of fertilizer, but it didn't work after fertilization. Finally, the leaves shrank. Later, I learned that green radish doesn't like sunshine like cactus, but likes high temperature, humidity and semi-cloudy environment. From the experience of Laura's death, I understand that educating children should also respect their personality and follow the law of their growth.
Third, don't dump the emotional garbage in your work and life on your children.
At one time, I moved a pot of chlorophytum from home to the office. The leafy chlorophytum adds a lot of vitality to the monotonous office. Colleagues like it very much, and often pour out the remaining tea juice to supplement water and nutrition. But it didn't take long for the chlorophytum to become thinner, and finally we found that it was a rotten root. At that time, the child had just entered primary school, and there were many unsuitable places. The head teacher often complains about her shortcomings. It happened that there were too many worries at work during that time. When I am unhappy, I often lose my temper with my children. Children's problems have not changed, but more and more, and children have become very angry. I was deeply touched by the rotten roots of chlorophytum, and I suddenly understood that it was unfair to bring home the bad emotions at work and pour them on the children. Just like the once-flourishing cymbidium, it can't stand all kinds of garbage and wastewater pouring into it, and even children can't stand it. From then on, I began to change myself. No matter what happens, I keep my mood stable and my tone calm when I talk to my children. The change of my mood has also brought about the change of my child's mood. She began to do things calmly and seldom blamed others for her mistakes as before.
The fourth is to leave enough time and space for children's growth.
My friend gave me a pot of Clivia. When I first arrived, I only had two or three leaves. It has been growing slowly for three years, with only leaves and no flowers. I don't have much time to take care of it except watering it in a few days. One winter, when I moved into the house through the window, its dusty appearance was very unpleasant. Will it bloom? I don't have the slightest confidence and assurance. Winter passed, and it returned to the windowsill. One morning, when I was watering, I suddenly found that it seemed to have pulled out a stem different from a leaf. It's going to blossom! Every day after that, I was surprised to see his stem grow taller day by day, his buds grow bigger day by day and his petals bloom day by day. This kind of surprise is hard to describe in words. I feel lucky that I didn't give it up. Fortunately, I moved it from the outside to the inside for the winter. Fortunately, I watered and fertilized it. The process of this potted flower from slow growth to rapid opening has given me a lot of enlightenment in educating my daughter. We should not be too impatient or too utilitarian. Children's growth is a long process, which requires enough time and space and long and patient waiting. But just like waiting for a flower to bloom, as long as you give it enough water and nutrients during its growth, the rest will be left to time. Don't worry.
Inspired by these flowers, I insisted on giving my children due encouragement, guidance, care and criticism during my three years in high school, but I have never been anxious about whether my children can be admitted to an ideal university. The child's English answer sheet for the mid-term exam in the first semester of senior three was wrongly painted, which led to more than 70 points in the English exam. In the next monthly exam, the physics department actually forgot to paint the answers to objective questions on the answer sheet. The child's class teacher was very angry and anxious and severely criticized the child. When the child cried and called me to tell me about it, I told her calmly, isn't it good to make such a mistake at this time? Knowing that the answer sheet may be wrongly painted, and knowing that the flowers with poor time arrangement may not have time to paint the answer sheet, you should pay special attention so that the college entrance examination will not make the same mistake. Two months before the college entrance examination, children were too nervous for various reasons. I also guided her calmly. It is normal to be nervous. Anyone will be a little nervous when facing the big exam, so don't be afraid. Don't be too nervous for your momentary "nervousness".
The growth of children is like the growth of flowers, which requires care, tolerance and appreciation, respect and understanding, and patience. Give these necessary things to children, and one day children will give us bright and pleasant flowers.