But ignorant children will come into contact with "death" in some way one day, perhaps the death of grandparents, perhaps the death of pets and dogs, perhaps a glimpse of news reports on TV. ...
Children also have the right to be sad.
Out of love for their children, many parents always want their children to feel only the happiness and beauty of the world, and they don't want their children to realize death prematurely and feel the sadness brought by death.
But parents should understand that children are also independent individuals, and parents should not deprive their children of the right to be sad. Children are born with the ability to perceive the world. They have the right to feel all kinds of emotions in life and to touch the beauty and darkness in the world.
Contact many aspects of this world, let them understand that there is more than a happy ending in the world, and learn to accept the imperfections in life. They can have a deeper understanding of the world, and then help them better understand the meaning of life.
The less children know about death, the more anxious and fearful they are about it.
Studies have shown that children can realize that living things will die when they are two years old. At the age of three to six, they will realize that their beloved parents will leave them. Slowly, they will realize that they will die one day.
When children have such a vague understanding of death, but they can't get a reasonable and specific explanation from their parents, they will open a strong imagination to fill the gap in understanding. Unfortunately, their imagination of death is often more terrible than simple facts.
For example, when they don't understand the concept of "burial", they may create images of dead relatives being buried alive and trying to climb out of the ground panting. When they don't understand the concept of "cremation", they may imagine that their loved ones were burned alive and suffered great pain.
Death education, in the final analysis, is the education of life and love.
"A sixth-grade boy in Hunan jumped out of the classroom on the fourth floor because of a dispute with his classmates about seat placement.
A boy from grade one and grade five in Zhoushan, dissatisfied with his teacher's spring outing, jumped from the classroom and fell seriously.
A 4-year-old boy was sleepy at the weekend. In a rage, his mother lifted the quilt and jumped from 12 floor. 」
Adolescent suicides are constantly staged. In their eyes, death is a means to vent their dissatisfaction and a weapon to threaten their parents. They are dissatisfied, angry and disdainful of life, but they are fearless.
"Death education not only teaches the problems of death and near death, but more importantly, how to add meaning to the process of life." As the movie Dream Journey said: "The end of life is not death, but being forgotten". It is precisely because life has an end that life and time are more precious.
Second, how to educate children about death?
Real Time
Almost every child will ask such a question when he grows up: "will everyone die?" What happens when you die? "
In the face of these problems, first of all, we can't show taboos and fears, because if parents show taboos or fears, children will think this is an unwelcome problem. At the same time, praise and encourage children's thinking.
Secondly, don't avoid children's problems, let alone think about prevarication at will.
We should try our best to provide facts that children can understand:
For younger children, the four seasons in nature can be used to explain the process of death, and children can also observe some rotten vegetables and fruits to help them understand the way of life death, so that they can form a shallow understanding first, thus eliminating children's speculation about death and the resulting fear;
For older children, parents can read picture books about death with their children, such as When Ducks Meet Death, Grandma's Amulet, Grandpa's Angel and Grandpa Became a Ghost.
You can also talk about some popular science knowledge appropriately, so that children can understand that the human body is like a precise machine. Breathing, heartbeat and thinking are the external manifestations of our lives, and behind them are the cooperation of various organs and parts of the body. When these parts are aged and damaged, we begin to die.
It is very important for children to understand that death is an irreversible process, not a process of waking up after falling asleep. Let children have awe of death, cherish their own lives, and don't step into this restricted area easily.
see you again
Walton, a professor of psychology, believes that the mourning process for death should accomplish four tasks: accept the lost fact, admit that things have happened, understand that the deceased will not come back, and experience sadness and pain.
No one wants to leave, but a person's life is constantly experiencing loss.
Let children learn to accept the death of people around them. If they choose to escape and suppress in the face of death, they will only prolong the pain and even cause a series of psychological problems in the future.
Accompany your child to feel the sadness caused by loss and the sad reaction that comes with it. Don't deliberately put pressure on the child's emotions, let him slowly accept the pain and get out of the sadness.
For example, when grandparents who have been accompanying children die, you can tell them that "grandparents can't come back, and we all miss them, so you should always remember them", and patiently comfort them to help children ease their emotions instead of letting them think alone.
Death is part of life.
The philosopher Sabat said, "Only by understanding death can we better understand life."
Only by facing up to the fact that you live in a limited life and having an objective understanding and psychological preparation for "death" can you realize the preciousness of "possession" and urge yourself to do the most important things, reduce the regrets in a limited life and live more meaningfully.