Reader Jing Ya (a pseudonym) met her husband on a blind date. Because of her age, she really hates marriage. Therefore, they entered the marriage hall within three months with their husbands.
They didn't know each other very well when they got married. However, at that time, I thought that two people on blind date could cultivate their feelings after marriage. I have never thought deeply about the hidden dangers in marriage, because I don't understand.
In the early days of their marriage, Jing Ya and her husband loved each other, whether they pretended or really loved each other. In short, they can enjoy their little life.
Marriage and love are the same road, and the initial passion will disappear with the passage of time.
Jing Ya and her husband lived happily for five years before they got married. They work hard and run their small home warmly. However, with the growth of children, the pressure is increasing, and the contradictions between husband and wife are gradually increasing.
A few days in a month are basically harmonious, and the atmosphere in a small family that was quite happy has gradually become a lot dull. Jing Ya not only has to work, but also has to take care of the children. As long as her husband does a good job, he doesn't care about anything when he gets home.
It is precisely because of her husband's indifference to the family that Jing Ya has a lot of complaints about him, and the contradiction between them cannot be eliminated.
Jing Ya said to her husband, "You always say that you are tired at work, so am I. After so many years of marriage, I have been at work like you, except for the months when I gave birth. Family is not my responsibility alone. Why do I have to bear so much? "
Her husband didn't understand her difficulties at all, only felt that everything she did was right, and said to her two children, "Look how much your mother dislikes you now, and she will leave her alone when she is old." Too cruel. "
Jing Ya was shocked by her husband's views on children's education. She said, "Don't say I didn't do anything wrong. Even if I did, you shouldn't tell the children about the marital conflict. You really let me down. "
After giving birth to the child, Jing Ya found that her husband was actually a very uneducated person. She doesn't want her husband to take care of the children, but when she is busy, she hopes her husband can help with some housework, but he only works as a shopkeeper at home.
Jing Ya said that her husband was not a successful man. He is really busy and has no time to take care of his family. Her husband has worked for so many years. Because of his limited ability, he is still an ordinary migrant worker no matter how hard he tries.
In the first few years of marriage, their conditions were good, but the cost of their two children's growth was too high and their income did not increase much. Life is a little tight now.
At first, Jing Ya said that her husband worked hard, but he failed to prepare for several promotions, so he gave up and wanted to be a clerk without worrying about it every day. Jing Ya has to take care of the children these years. She has relaxed a lot about her career and her work has not improved.
Although she sacrificed her future for her children, Jing Ya thought it was worth it. She loves her children and her home very much. But her husband doesn't care more and more, and even doesn't respect her attitude, which makes her regret marrying this man.
After a long marriage, the feelings between husband and wife will fade, but they will not quarrel endlessly unless they are too dissatisfied with the behavior of the other half.
This is the case in Jing Ya. She said she was too dissatisfied with her husband. He is 40 years old and too lazy at home. He doesn't wash dirty socks and sometimes he doesn't wash his feet. Jing Ya scolded him several times for this.
Every time Jing Ya talks about her husband, her husband will only say, "You are so beautiful, how dare you talk about me? What I want to do and don't want to do in my own home is none of your business. "
It turns out that Jing Ya has been quarreling with her husband because of their two children, and never thought about divorce. However, her husband went too far. Once they had a big fight, he pointed to Jing Ya and said, "You don't think I'm incompetent. If I had money, would you still care about me? " You dare not. "
Jing Ya was so angry at what her husband said that she cried. She said, "If I really didn't like your incompetence, I would have divorced a long time ago. I have been trying to run our family, and I hope you can provide more snacks for this family. What is wrong with me? You must say such ugly things. "
There is no big contradiction between the two, just because my husband has become lazy. No matter what happens at home, she washes the clothes of a family of four, and she does all the cooking, housework and dishes by herself.
She works during the day and her husband and two children are sleeping at night. She must finish everything before she can sleep. Jing Ya said it was not her fault that she lost her temper with her husband. Her husband can help a little, and she won't quarrel with him.
The last quarrel was that Jing Ya had to work overtime and called her husband to pick up the children from school. He called names on the phone and said a lot of nasty things. Although he finally answered, he went back to complain about Jing Ya.
Jing Ya said angrily, "If you can pass, forget it." In fact, all she said was angry words, but her husband went on to say, "wife, why do you look down on me?" It's not that you have a crush on a rich man. You want to divorce me and leave tomorrow. I can still live without you. "
Jing Ya looked at her husband like crazy every day and exploded without saying two words. They can't live in peace at all. The louder the noise, the more unhappy the family is, and the academic performance of the two children has dropped a lot. They never make money.
Maybe divorce is a relief for adults and children, she said. Because men's ignorant words ruined their 14 year marriage.
For a troubled marriage like Jing Ya and her ex-husband, separation can be seen as letting each other go. Not only is it easy, but the two children are not affected by their parents' endless quarrels.
Some couples don't know each other well when they get married. Although they can get along well at first, it is because they subconsciously think that the other person is the person they like and will deliberately show their love for each other.
In fact, I didn't love it very much, but at that time, I saw that this person was suitable for me. When I first got married, I started a family in a daze. But the two people's personalities, as well as each other's personalities, don't know each other, and they can only get used to it in the days after marriage.
Just like Jing Ya and her ex-husband, a few years ago, she had a good life. After about five years, she had many problems. They may endure it all the time because of their children, until one day they can't stand it any longer and it breaks out completely.
But the biggest problem is her ex-husband. Not to mention that he has accomplished nothing and has not assumed his due obligations to his family. He always felt that his wife looked down on him, and what he did made her look down on him at all.
Husband and wife have the same ability, in fact, no one has the confidence to divorce, but when a man is lazy, no matter how hard a woman tries, she can't continue to help him in the same boat.