Let's take a look at the story of Zhang Qian, a 4-year-old girl:
Once, after the teacher let the children go home, with the help of their parents, they folded three paper frogs with colored paper. At home, Zhang Qian is afraid to talk to his father who is reading a newspaper or his mother who is cooking. A few times, she got up the courage to say it, but she swallowed it back. After going to bed after dinner, she refused to go back to her room.
"You child, why don't you listen?" Dad scolded her. Zhang Qian cried: "The teacher said you would help me make a paper frog." After listening to Zhang Qian's answer, Dad paused and looked at the clock on the wall: "Where can I buy colored paper now? Let's talk about it tomorrow. " I want to argue that my neighbor grandpa Zhang got it, but I dare not say it. In this way, the paper industry in Zhang Qian has not been completed. Finally, her mother promised to accompany her to the kindergarten the next day to explain to the teachers, and she slept peacefully.
Unexpectedly, the next day, her mother arranged for her to travel temporarily. She sent Zhang Qian to the kindergarten gate and left in a hurry.
At about 10 in the morning, my mother received a phone call from the kindergarten teacher on the bus on business trip, saying that Zhang Qian didn't arrive at the kindergarten. Mom is busy calling dad. At noon, the anxious mother finally got a call from her father, saying that Zhang Qian had found it. It turned out that she was afraid that the teacher would criticize her for not finishing her homework, so she didn't dare to go to kindergarten, so she hid in the street garden not far away and cried. Mother sighed: The child is very good and obedient, but too obedient. ...
In fact, Zhang Qian's mother didn't go deep into the psychological root of the child's behavior except sighing.
Zhang Qian was not like this at first. When she was two or three years old, she was curious and adventurous, but whenever she was naughty or had an argument with an adult, her mother would scold her and say that she was disobedient, and her father would even slap her twice. Slowly, under the control of parents, children have changed and become more and more obedient. This is also simple, just act according to the will of adults. Adults like it, but from this, children also have problems: no opinion, poor independence and timidity.
The common feature of such "obedient" children is that they will not ask questions or are afraid to ask them. They say that if you go east, you will go west. Even if you are not satisfied, you will adapt to and obey other people's ideas. Especially for the elders, no matter right or wrong, they dare not argue with them, because they have formed a stereotype in their hearts: obedient, good children. Some of these "obedient" children are obedient and polite, pursuing praise, and dare not say their own requirements or put forward their own opinions when they are in trouble. Such a child's personality has been distorted, and his parents have taught him a kind of "servility" psychology.
Such a child can't help thinking of falcons. After the hunter caught the eagle, he didn't give it food or drink. When it resisted, he hit its head and "fanned" its wildness and pride. Until finally, it gave in and obeyed, from fighting the eagle in the sky to hunting rabbits and falcons. This is a kind of sadness.
However, it is not enough to pay attention to every detail of educating and guiding children. It is best to master specific ways and means, be good at grasping the opportunity of education and guidance to children in daily life, and learn to refuse unreasonable demands of children when necessary.