Myth 1: Parents love children very much, but children don't.
The child is thirsty and wants to drink mineral water, but parents think abalone is nutritious, but the child doesn't like it.
Parents buy high-end toys for their children, and children just like to play with some worthless gadgets.
You spend a lot on purpose, and the child is unhappy, because these are not what the child needs. What you don't need can't reflect its value.
Myth 2: I think cram school is a good way to improve your grades.
Nowadays, cram schools, with all kinds of names, are like mushrooms after rain, surrounding children layer by layer. Parents spend money, as if they were comforted. Do they think about their children's hard work and depression? Is the child's usual academic burden not heavy enough? The heavy schoolbag bent their backs.
Scientifically speaking, the cerebral cortex is not used for thinking, but is controlled by the body and emotions. When people are in a state of fatigue and emotional distress, their abilities of memory, analysis and judgment disappear. Will produce anger, anger, fear and other emotions. Not only will health be affected, but it will also be manifested as weariness, procrastination, self-isolation, and no communication with others. There may even be extreme phenomena such as sudden death or suicide.
Myth 3: Always complaining about the problems existing in the current education system.
Some parents, like their children, understand their children's sufferings and often criticize China's current education. Let the children complain, too
Complaining is not a positive way to solve problems.
China education and western education have their own advantages and disadvantages. Objectively speaking, we should learn from each other's strengths. Looking back at history, every era has its limitations. It's no use complaining about society and system. Parents should have such a concept and vision: based on themselves and children, so that children have room for development. Any environment can help children realize their dreams.
Give children such a life orientation: all changes are opportunities, and those who make themselves miserable are angels. You are the master and control your own destiny.
Myth 4: Children with poor grades must not be smart.
Children have many kinds of intelligence, including hearing, vision, language, experience, logic, social interaction and many other aspects.
School education attaches importance to examinations, which mainly assess children's intelligence in language, writing and mathematical logic. Other skills are not included in the examination. This has caused a serious misunderstanding among parents, thinking that children will not become talents if their grades are not satisfactory.
If Darwin and Einstein's mothers also listened to the teacher's evaluation of their children and gave up training, or blindly asked their children to be like other children, how many years would science stagnate?
Ang Lee's math score is negative, which in no way affects his becoming a great director.
Teacher Lan Hai told a story about an animal school, which was thought-provoking.
The rabbit runs so fast that it is allowed to swim and fly. I drowned and fell to my death.
For a child, if he gives full play to what he is good at, he will succeed.
In order to achieve satisfactory results, it is tantamount to picking up sesame seeds and losing watermelon at the expense of hurting children's body and mind and destroying parent-child relationship.
Myth 5: Strict education is responsible for children.
There is an old saying: if you don't fight for a day, you will go to the house to uncover the tiles. Beating and scolding children is the lowest education. Blame, criticism, command and preaching are second only to this.
These methods, seemingly strict, have negative effects, and may even accompany children for life.
When there is a problem, parents should carefully analyze it. Is it a child's problem, your own problem, or an environmental problem?
If it is a child's problem, learn to accept and listen. Know what children need.
If it's your own problem, describe it objectively, don't criticize it, tell your inner feelings, such as sadness, worry and influence on yourself, and finally put forward hope. This kind of communication, children's thoughts on their parents, will get a clear judgment and understanding, and get effective communication.
Next, help the child in the way he likes.
The wisest parents, in the family, take the initiative to create a warm atmosphere, pay attention to their personal growth, set an example for their children and influence them. This is the master of nine paragraphs among parents.
The initial starting point of' strict' education is to be responsible for children. There's nothing wrong with that. Parents often hurt their children and destroy the parent-child relationship in the name of being good to their children.
If you can communicate with your child calmly and seriously and help your child solve the problem in a reasonable way, why get angry and blame?
Myth 6: It is too difficult for children to change their behavior habits.
The process of a person's behavior change is: knowing without moving, knowing with heart, knowing with action, moving with perseverance, and achieving positive results. This is a gradual process.
Many times, all previous efforts were in vain because of parents' carelessness, negligence and arbitrariness.
It is more difficult for children to do one thing persistently than adults. Parents are used to the embryonic stage of their children's work and suppress their children in a reproachful tone. For example, when children have just made some progress in their studies, or in the early stage of forming a good habit, parents will say, "You are very proud to have scored such a little in the exam. I am far from it! " Or in the process of children realizing the problem and trying to change, they did not find it in time and gave affirmation and encouragement. The child's enthusiasm for learning suddenly disappeared, and the spark was extinguished by a pot of cold water. Self-confidence was also hit.
Parents need to have a pair of discerning eyes, immediately discover the signs of children's intimate, knowing and doing, and encourage children to make persistent efforts.
Myth 7: Parents' goals are children's goals.
Many parents are full of expectations for their children. And this expectation, the child did not agree, and still went its own way.
No one will work hard for other people's goals. There are many ways to help children realize their wishes and realize our parents' wishes at the same time.
Parents want their children's grades to improve, and children expect a long-awaited gift. Achievement and talent are combined. You can draw this gift on a piece of paper and finish it in several days. Finish a fraction every day. Over time, children will take the initiative to do what they should do when they see their wishes approaching day by day. At the moment when the wish came true, the child's grades improved and his reward was obtained. Everyone is happy! In this process, cultivate children's self-planning and self-management, self-discipline and adaptability.
It is wise to help children achieve their goals while putting their own goals in.
Family is the first stop in life and the first classroom for children to grow up. May parents all over the world, with your love and patience, cultivate their children with correct ideas and methods, make their dreams come true and make them useful pillars of society!