Unconsciously, I have been a mother for 19 years, but I realize more and more that although I am a mother, I am not qualified to educate my children, and there is no way to discipline them with "tutoring".

When we say tutor, we are using a teaching method (standard) to manage some unreasonable and irregular words and behaviors. It should be said that he is a child unwilling to obey his parents' discipline. Parents have no choice but to give up, so he is basically a "wild" existence.

I don't understand many rules, and I don't even know how to get along with people, so I have suffered a lot in my feelings. It's just that my pain has become the fuel of my life now. Through these painful guidance, I know more clearly how to walk under my feet.

This is the life I have experienced, only my own life. Once, I tried to tell my child about my life experience, hoping that he could change his personality, his way of speaking and his way of dealing with people, so that I could take fewer detours. But when I do this, I find it difficult.

When we are together, it seems that we have traveled through time and space. He can't understand me, and I seem to be talking to an alien. He can only feel the emotions I am anxiously expecting, and these emotions can only make him feel worse.

I have learned a lot of truths on the road of growing up, and I agree with these truths-"Yes, this is what one should do. If I had known this earlier, it wouldn't have happened ... I can't let my children go through the pain I have experienced. I must start from an early age, educate him from an early age, and let him learn how to do it ... "

When one day, he grew up slowly, began to contradict me, and began to say that it was difficult to obey me, I suddenly felt very failed. I worked so hard, why did I get this result? I pass on information like a treasure, but it is worthless in his eyes.

This kind of frustration got me into it and I couldn't get out. What's wrong? As a mother, shouldn't I do this? Isn't it my duty to educate children? Isn't it my duty to give them good guidance and send positive messages? Let him form good habits and have a good upbringing from childhood, so that he can have a good future and development. ...

If you don't know that this is a "big delusion", you will always be trapped by this idea. Because from the day you want to change and educate your children, you have deviated from the track of being a mother, or you have been confused by the concept of being a mother. And the result can only be asking for it.

If what you feel is the child's resistance, I really want to congratulate you, which at least makes you reflect. If you experience children's obedience and obedience, you should be very careful, because life is not so easy to be "tamed" by conceptual language, and it is not transformed by the ideas you think are good.

And we want to educate and punish our children with stricter family education, which in itself will make us feel extremely uncomfortable. Maybe before you speak, before you act, your heart has been filled with all kinds of pain. Because you want to correct his problem.

I don't get up early in the morning, things in my room are littered everywhere, I don't go out all day, I watch videos and play games endlessly at night until two or three in the morning, when I meet strangers, I don't even say hello, and I find fault with your cooking. ...

You can find a laundry list of children's problems, but you will gradually realize that your harshness, your demands, your inculcation and your good intentions are basically useless.

If teaching was useful, it would have been useful long ago, but I was so fascinated that I knew it was useless and I was still doing this useless teaching, so that I didn't feel like an incompetent mother.

I used to think that you should shut up and listen more to do a good job in education. Later, I learned that if you shut up and talk more about educating each other, it would be full of scheming and meaningless. Because what you said is still what you saw, heard and felt, not his own personal experience.

You are educating the other person with the intention of letting him take fewer detours, because you took detours, you encountered setbacks, and you experienced setbacks in the wrong way. Will he really use the wrong method like you? Why do different people have to live the same life?

In our communication, I saw my own interference in other people's lives, as well as a lot of unwarranted anxiety and worry, which are my own feelings. I need to face and deal with these feelings, not pass them on to him.

Suddenly one day, I realized that he didn't need an education, let alone a tutor. Of course, it doesn't matter if you want to turn your mother into a supervisor and a night watchman. It's all your choice. You can only suffer.

We can't shirk the pain of educating children and think that children are difficult to discipline. In fact, when discipline doesn't happen from yourself, there's nothing uncomfortable at all, is there? You don't care, just do it. Why must you interfere with the independent experience of a life according to your existing experience?

Since life exists in the world, his life, whether bitter or happy, must be experienced, experienced and felt by himself. He will become a teacher after enough experience, instead of being your "child" and your "student" forever.

Allow the child to suffer hardships, let him experience storms, hardships and setbacks, and let him explore the way out of life earlier. This is his own way out of life, not a way out as his mother pointed out.

These sounds like irresponsible words, but others are not responsible. Say what you want, only know that you have to go your own way and suffer your own hardships.

Always subject to the judgment of this society, there is no way out for your life.

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